Another Part Of Me

Chapter 32-The Truth

Luciana

Words can't describe how much I miss him. Hearing his voice always gives me those butterflies in my stomach. I'm glad Michael and I talked last night. I think he wants for him and I to be together, but him and I both know it's not right for him right now. Honestly though, how can a person you've known and been in love with for years suddenly be considered as just a friend?

Michael and I were best friends as well as lovers, but this was completely different. To me it seems sort of awkward. Maybe I'm just over thinking it. Him and I both still have feelings for each other. Although for now, I have to push my feelings to the side for his sake. I don't want to make a mistake now and have both of us hurt in the end.

How does he really feel? I wish I knew. He's all I think about. Since the day I wrote that letter, I've hated myself. I eventually came to the point where I had to forgive myself, but I still look at it as a dumb decision.

I miss being able to look into his eyes before I fell asleep, and to wake up to him in the morning. It gave me this feeling of comfort, knowing that he was always going to be there for me. When him and I made love, his touch was like nothing else in this world. He was my stress reliever. With Michael, I felt like nothing could go wrong. He meant everything to me.. he still does.

But anyway, I need to snap back into reality. If Michael and I continue talking, it will stay between him and I. I respect his privacy. Besides, we're just friends, right?

Michael

When Luciana called last night, it put me at ease. I felt like Lisa always had the right things to say, but with Luciana, it was completely different. It's hard for me to explain. That little drop of my heart whenever I see her, or when she simply says the sweetest things to me. It's still there.

After Lisa and I split, I haven't exactly been ready to hop right back into a relationship. I love Luciana, and I'd just like to have that person I know I can talk to that'll support me instead of judging me. Although we're trying to consider ourselves strictly as friends, I still would like for her and I to play the roles in each other's lives as that shoulder to lean on.

Our love wasn't artifical. I regret letting it slip away. I often blame myself for not being able to save our relationship. I felt like I should have done more. I didn't want to let her go, and I didn't want to accept the fact that she was moving on. She claims that she thought she was making me happy, but I was miserable, and she and I both knew that wasn't the case.

I'm proud of her, and I support her in everything she does. She's done the same for me since the day I've met her. I hope she continues on in doing what she's doing, because she's great at it. She's a dream chaser, and I admire that. I support Luciana one hundred percent.

I don't ever think I've taken the same to actually say, thank you.