Creepypasta Comedy

Happy Not So Halloween

This is something I couldn't forget. Her name was Jennifer Dales. She had long blonde hair, big, blue doe eyes, legs that went on and on. She had a very gorgeous mouth too. He watched her for about a week. She had the same daily routine: wake-up, shower, do her hair and makeup, go to school, come home and do her homework, play her video games, shower again, then go to sleep. It was the same daily. By that Saterday he decided to make his presence known. When she went to take her nightly shower he snuck into her room. Not long after Jennifer came out. Her body still dripping wet. He moved towards her, when her back was turned, and pushed her on the bed. Before she could make a sound he held the knife to her throat. It was so delicate and flawless. He stripped away her towel and put a hand over her mouth. "Shh" he told her. He took some tape from his pocket and taped her mouth closed. He then taped her to her bed and glided the knife down her body; from her head, to neck, to her chest. He stopped at her legs. He then started carving random words like "beautiful" and stuff. She kept screaming but her parents were sleeping down stares. "Now your legs are perfect" he told her. Then he stabbed her in the chest 15 times. He slit her stomach open then carved a smile into her face. Then he sat her body on fire. That's how her parents found her.
Boy 2: That's the scarest you got bro? Come on man, Jeff isn't all that scary. It's all about that Eyeless Jack character. He ate Laramie Keets' Kidneys a few months ago.
Girl: hey don't forget the girls. They are awesome.
Boy 1: oh yeah, Dylan, Clockwise, Chryst, and I forget the others.
Boy 4: isn't there a cat that eats hearts?
Girl 4: yeah but she suck ass. Jane is awesome.
Everyone but girl 4: Jane?!?!
Boy 1: come on man. She's pathetic. Cat girl has her beat.
Girl 3: guys what about slenderman. He's the most scarest of them all.
Everyone: yeah
Boy 3: he killed Eathan Hathaway and Kevin Martin when they went to go fuck in the woods where he attacks most.
Girl 1: That's dumb
Boy 2: you got that right.
Boy 4: who was it that drowned that boy in Michigan?
Girl 3: BEN DROWNED
Boy 1: so that's the kids name? R.I.P then
Girl 3: NO you dumb tit. He killed the boy. I don't know the boys name.
Then everyone dies.
Bon: I guess they chose to treat us instead of tricks..... (starts laughing and taking there hearts).
Jeff: oh my fucking damn Dylan you gave me a boner the way you gutted that guy.
Dylan: I try
Hoodie: Bon your not eating all of those tonight. They have been using drugs and God knows how you are.
Bon: Pweeeeeees (cute baby kitten face)
Hoodie: (blushes) o-(whack) Fuck Chryst what the Hell
Chryst: you were about to cave in. (Takes hearts from Bon) I just stopped you.
Masky: you know something. I'm going to go and clean up because slenderman is bringing me chaeesecake.
Bon: BARNS AND FUCKIN NOBLES I HAVEN'T EATEN ME HEARTS IN DECADES.
Hoodie: you ate nine yesterday.
Hat(from Harry Potter): (lands on Chryst) Let's place you in slitheren... (Flys to Jeff) You in hufflepuff...... (fly to Dylan) you in Hu-(Dylan shreds it with stolen chainsaw)
Dylan: Jesus I hate Harry Potter.
Bon: oh poo I wanted to know what I was.
Dylan: your in FUCKIN retard
Bon:....... that made no type of sense.
Everyone: (facepalm) Get off of drugs Bon