Creepypasta Comedy

Death of a Pasta

Ben (pauses video game): it's too quiet and I can't concentrate on my game.
Hoodie: it's been quiet for three days.
Jeff: And the girls are gone.
Masky: they are plotting something big I suppose. We need to watch our backs.
Sandman: but why is May M.I.A? She wouldn't join a prank with the rest of them.
(All sit in silence)
Slendy(appears out of no where in pj's and reading glasses): i was able to read three books in three days and nothing has been out of sorts. What are you all up too?
Boys: that's what we're asking!
Jeff: the girls have been gone for three days. We've seen none of them around so we think they're about to prank us soon.
Raven: I hope not. Last time I couldn't get the gum from my hair and the tar off my big toe.
Jeff: I remember when me and Masky surprised Dylan for her birthday and she glued our dicks together.
Masky(shivers): that was torture.

(All the girls come down the stairs in one line. Leading the line is Sally, then it's Dylan, Bon, Chryst, May, Roxie, Melody, Miaya, and Chaos.)

Girls(monotone unison): we're breaking up with you (walk back up the stairs).
Boys(sit in silence):......................
Ben: what the fuck was that?
Jeff(fuming): it's don't fucking know but I'm going to find out (pulls out knife)
Masky: DUDE WHAT THE HELL?!? PUT THAT SHIT AWAY. SHE'LL KICK YOUR ASS IF YOU-
Jeff: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A RADISH ASS WHAT SHE'LL DO? IF THIS IS A FUCKING JOKE THEN I'M GONNA GET A KICK OUT OF IT.
LJ(walks in with black roses and sour gummy bears): Mel come here.
Ben: oh shit😨
Jeff:This is going to get ugly............
Sandman: I'll be on stand by.
Tockland: Heeheeeeee, I need popcorn. So much drama!
Boys: 0.o?
Masky: your not even supposed to be in this chapter!
Tockland: I know......I skipped a few.
Pancake king: GREETINGS FROM PANCAKELANDIA
Jelly bean: Jelly beeeeeeeeeeean
Jeff: Tockland and Pk....GO THE FUCK AWAY. Jelly bean sandy is gonna need you for Miaya.
Jb: Beeeeeean
Tockland: the big hands at 11 and the small at 7. When the clocks hands touch 8 you'll have sealed their fates (vanishes in fairy dust and glitter)
Slendy: damn that boy, I just vacuumed this morning!
Tockland(reappears behind slendy): i know (dissappears again).
Jeff:........ anyway.......
Masky: we need to go talk to them and see what's going on before we do anything rash.
Ben (looks at Hoodie with concern): Hoodz.....bro.....your to calm about this. You good?
Hoodie: they didn't mean it.
Jeff(grits teeth): so it was a prank.
Hoodie: no, something is wrong. If you didn't notice Sally, May, and Chaos said it too.
Masky: yeah, and Chaos has been with Alice in that fucked up Wonderland they made.
Lj: what's going on?
Tockland(appears on Lj's head): your girlfriend broke up with you.......don't feel bad, all the girls broke things off with the guys (dissappears by being eaten by a giant cabbage)
Lj:...............
Ben: shit just hit the roof
Jeff: I'm going to kill that skinny little bitch.
Masky: Lj, calm down. We think it's a big misunderstanding.
Lj(menacing low voice): where is she.
Boys:........... (look upstairs)

Lj walks calmly up the stairs and the boys follow him. Slendy was too busy cleaning after Tockland to realize that they went to the girls. Lj opens all the doors until he found them. They were all in the biggest room on metal tables with helmets on there head. Jane sat at a computer but didn't realize they came in.
Lj: what is this?
Jane (😨😨😨): o-oh h-hey there g-guys.
Hoodie: what the hell is this. (Ben and Hoodie goes too Bon's side)
Jane: oh it's nothing really. Just a girls day ya see........
Jeff: Girls day my ass (drags Jane into the halls)
Slendy: what's going on! I can't clean one mess because-(sees the girls) oh my.....what's this.
Jeff: ask this bitch!
Jane: I control them (puts on a helmet and the girls wake up)
Get them you bitches.
Girls: yes queen Jane (captures the boys and ties them together. They go stand behind Jane like soldiers and await her next order.
Sandman: shit this is bad.
Masky: can't you turn into sand and get Doc Smiley?
Sandman: oh yeah, I forgot about that (turns into sand)
Jeff: I'm gonna kill this Cock guzzler when I get out of this.
Tockland: yeah, if you can get out.
Ben: why not help up you vermtit?
Tockland:.....hmm...........nah (disappears into dust and glitter)
Slenderman: DAMN IT TOCKLAND!
Jeff: that pubescent fish pussy.
Jane: Just shut the fuck up already you asses. You all have been treating like I'm a fucking dead, diseased bird. I hate all of you so now you will all suffer.
Jeff: ugh, your son story really made me need to shit.
Sandman (conjures sand that buries Jane): alright, this should give her about thirty minutes. Doc, give me my bitch back.
(Thirty seconds later)
Doc: Bon is the easiest since her mind is simple but chryst will take a while longer.
Jeff: How did the girls let this happen?
LJ: must have been off guard.
Ben and Hoodz: not for Bon.
Ben: you can get her to do anything for a slim Jim.
Hoodz: I'll say.
Doc: well, all the girls are set. They'll wake up pissed as hell though so I suggest you all run.
Jeff: run? Like hell will we ru-
Girls:JAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE
Jeff: (farts in fear) fuck I crapped a little.
Dylan: she will feel the wrath of an onion on a grilled fish.
Miaya: I'll have her head served on a fucking train set and feast on her innards as I sip tea in Britain.
Bon: give me her heart, I bet it taste delicious.
Slenderman: girls calm yourse
Girls: (glare and growl) what was that?
Slenderman: um, I was just....... TOCKLAND CLEAN THIS MESS UP! (runs away)
LJ: come on ladies, we can talk this out.
Chryst: talk this out? do you really believe that we will willing talk this out without violence?
Sally: I was having a tea party and she came in to beat up Charlie and Charlotte.
May: I'm gonna feed her to the elder dragons of Burke and watch as they devour her piece by piece alive.
Toby and clockwork: WE'RE BACK WITH GIFTS!
Girls:BURN IN THE LAKE OF BEELZEBUB
Toby and Clockwork: WE'RE LEAVING AGAIN (leaves with pissed pants.)
Jane(emerges from sand): fuck I have and in my hair.
Dylan: time to go to sleep (injects Jane with sedative.)
Jeff: (jizzes) fuck that was hot.
Girls: leave us. (Kicks boys out of the room)
Boys: Σ(°△°|||)︴
Hoodie: wtf was that?
Sandman: I don't know whether to be turned on or fear my life.
Boys (hears screaming): Run

Girls: (come into the living room and snuggle to there boyfriends)
Dylan: I want a burrito.
Mask and Jeff: yes ma'am (runs to make burritos.
Bon: In sleepy (falls onto Ben and Hoodz to sleep)
Ben: n-n-nice k-kitty
Hoodz: sweet a-angel.
Melody: I WANT A FUCKING TEDDY BEAR AND SOUR GUMMIES
LJ: here you are love.
Slenderman: GIRLS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.
Girls: killed a pest.
Jeff: wait, you killed a proxy?!?
Bon: it's her fault. She never gave me my slim Jim's and lemonade. (Snuggles into Hoodie and Ben more)
Miaya: not to mention she used my devices.
Slenderman: so you made those? For what purpose?
Miaya: to make potato's talk.
Everyone:......................
Tockland: heehee thats funny
Bon: well now that I aye a heart I need a nap.
Slenderman: no you girls will go and clean tha-
Girls: (gives the death glare from the deathiest death of deaths) what was that clit muncher
Slenderman: n-nothing.

Jane is dead, everything is back to normal, Chaos and May are being loners (of course) and Jelly beanz is stuck in the floor.