What If I

Chapter seven~ it's like torture

A/N: Meghan's POV is easier to write for me so yeah it'll be her point of view
Meghan's POV
Tears were swiftly falling down into the abyss from my cheeks, and making a drop sound every time they hit the floor. It was like rain, but it wasn't strong. It was pouring outside. I remembered Charlie's exact words to me.
"Don't cry, perfect. I don't like to see you cry."
I cried even more, and the rain got heavier.
Charlie's crying, right now. He doesn't like me to cry, and he cries if I don't stop.
The same thought played over and over again.
What if I
It didn't need an ending, it's just me. What if I, still had him.
What if I, am still loved.
What if I, am still being waited on
What if I, am not alone
What if I, had Charlie's smile against my lips
The same things played like loops in my head continuously. The same words, the same tones. The same words.
"Meghan," Mikaela said, emerging from the corner she had stayed in all night.
I ignored her. The loop was still playing, and nothing could stop it from not going away.
"Meghan, I found a photo book your mom made of- you and-" she stopped, already knowing she shouldn't mention his name.
She handed it to me, and I retrieved it. I opened it to the first page. It showed me and Charlie laughing at each others jokes. Then us, writing a song. Then him, comforting me when I was crying. Then it was us, kissing at the park. Then it was me kissing him at our wedding.
I remember how his lips felt that day, and how I kissed him. I remember what I said to him on my vows. I remember every single detail. The loop started playing again.
"I don't want to look at it anymore." I uttered.
I didn't want the loop to play again. Whenever he's mentioned in anything, the loop plays again. It's torture.
"Hey, you haven't really touched a piece of food in two weeks. How about something?" Mikaela asked.
I shook my head no.
"Meg, you gotta eat to get em' out of your head."
I shook my head again.
"So what I'm hearing is your to depressed, so your not gonna eat till you get what completes your heart back."
"That sounded not comforting." I relied in a low tone.
She smiled and handed me a burrito.
"I was hoping a depressing food." I said, laughing a tiny bit.
God, felt good to laugh. Haven't shown any happiness all day.
"There's the spirit." Mikaela said and walked out of the room.
I slowly got up and threw the food away and sat back down.
It's like torture.
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Hey guys!
Sorry for so many sad chapters! I'll do a happy one soon. Love you all! 😘😊
Love,
Delaney