Crazy (s.m)

nine

* thursday *

A L I C E

Tuesday night was a mess. I freaked out and had a really bad panic attack. I didn't want to talk to Shawn about it. Ever since he took me home I haven't talked to him. I've been hiding away in my room again. It's like, the more I hang out with Shawn, the more it reminds me of the good times and how those were over. But I couldn't stop seeing him. The song he wrote about me, Imagination, was a perfect way to describe how I feel about him. No matter how hard I try, I can't keep myself from thinking about him.

My phone buzzes beside me and I see Shawn's contact pop up.

"Hey." I sigh.

"Hey. Long time no talk...are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Just shaken, that's all."

"I get it. Do you want to talk about it?"

I decide to just tell him. What am I keeping from him?

"Yeah I guess....so ever since I was little I've had panic attacks and anxiety. One time I did go to the hospital for passing out because it was so bad. I haven't had one like that for five years and I guess I just freaked and...yeah."

"Ohh I'm so sorry. Did I say something to upset you?"

"No, no, not at all. It's just like, being with you, I escape for just a little and everything is okay, then I realize I have to face more stuff when I leave you. And I always think of all the happy things when I'm with you. That's why I haven't talked to you until now. But I can't keep myself from you." I wish I was talking to him in person so I can kiss him. My lips needed the taste of his again.

The line is silent for a moment then he breaks it by saying, "I know how that feels. I can't keep myself from you either, Alice."

"Meet me at Starbucks right near here." I blurt out. I need to see him, but I want to get out of this area.

"Like now?!"

"Yes." I say, getting up, putting him on speaker, and start changing.

"Okay. Be there in ten."

"Kk bye."

"Bye." He says. I hang up and touch up a bit before heading out the door.

-------

I see a shivering Shawn standing by his car on his phone as I pull mine up to a parking space next to his. I get out, shut the door and stand in front of him.

"Hey beautiful." He smiles, looking at me.

"Hey cutie." I say, laughing a little.

We walk into Starbucks together and his cold hand grabs mine. As soon as we order our drinks, we sit down together.

"So...I have to leave my house tomorrow. I've been packing things."

He looks at me, disappointed, and takes a sip of his latte before saying, "I'm so sorry. Where do you have to go? Has your dad told you yet?"

"No he hasn't. Should I ask him?"

He nods.

"I don't like talking to my dad."

"I know but you have to."

I roll my eyes and laugh a little.

---------

"Dad I can't just keep hiding from you." I say, walking into the kitchen where he sat at the table. "I need to know where we're going."

He sighs and says, "We're going to my business partner Manuel's house. He has a kid your age and I've never met him but you guys should get along."

I nod and sigh as well, grabbing a granola bar and walking towards my room. I grab my phone and text Shawn.

'Hey I asked my dad said we're going to one of his business partner's house.'

He immediately responds with, 'Well I'm glad you'll be staying in a safe place.'

-------

* the next day *

I wake up, dreading today. I don't want to leave this house. Last night I purged all of the things I don't need or want and packed the things I can keep. It's so hard. Everything is happening at once.

I force myself out of bed and start to change and get ready. I put on a grey sweater dress with some black knee highs and ankle booties. I tie my hair up in a ponytail and straighten it. When I walk out the room I grab my phone as well.

'Moving today. Wish me luck' I send to shawn

After eating and gathering my things together, it's time to leave. I sigh as I meet my dad at the front door with my luggage.

"Okay..let's go." He says, opening the door

"I'm going to miss you." I mumble following him outside.

--------------

OMF MITAM IS TOMORROW AND IM CRYING IVE ALREADY PREORDERED THE DELUXE ALBUM AND IM SO EXCITED IVE BEEN COUNTING DOWN TO THIS ALBUM LITERALLY SINCE SEPTEMBER ANDDDDD

SHAWN

FREAKING

IS

COMING

OUT

WITH

A

SINGLE

NEXT

WEEK

IM SO EXCITED OMF

anyway bye ily hope u liked the chapter