shawn mendes imagines {under editing}

you're okay

shawn mendes imagines
imagine v
-
melissa's pov

i held shawn's cold hand in mine, a warm tear running down the side of my face and clinging onto the bottom of my jaw.

he was here because of me.

almost dead because of me.

me.

we had a fight, and he left.

i waited for him for hours, when the hospital called me and said he was brought into the emergency department and was in critical condition.

his right lung had collapsed, so there was a tube down his throat; breathing for him. small steeri-strips held together stitched cuts on his face, and his eyes were engulfed in dark circles.

the rest of his injuries were hidden under the blanket.

more tears cascaded down my face as i continued to examine his state. his facial expressions we're still, the only movement being his chest that was rising and falling slowly.

"please don't leave me," i said quietly, my voice hoarse from crying.

i couldn't keep it together.

i knew i had to be strong for his sake, but it was really hard.

i was taken out of my foggy mind by a sudden pressure on my fingers, looking up to see his hand squeezing mine. my head snapped up to look at him, squeezing his hand back gently in encouragement. a weak cough left his lips before his eyes slowly opened, immediately meeting mine.

"shawn?" i gasped, my eyes brimming with tears again, "oh my god."

he tried to talk, his eyes widening when he realized he couldn't. i quickly stood up, gently laying my hand on his shoulder, "d-don't talk baby, you have a tube down your throat."

he continued to try and speak, choking on the tube. his eyes pooled with tears as he tried his best to figure out what was going on. the beeping on his heart monitor sped up, indicating his heart rate quickening, "relax, my love. it's okay now."

tears spilled down my cheeks, my muscles no longer tensed up. i kissed his head, bringing my fingers to the brown curls that weren't covered by the bandage around his head. a tear fell down his cheek, his trembling hand reaching out to my arm.

i wiped away his fallen tear, "shawn, i'm so sorry. this is all my fault. i wish i was in your spot, you don't deserve any of this. i never meant a word i said, i love you."

shawn slowly nodded, bringing his fingers to the tube that connected to ventilator on his left. he winced, and my heart broke.

i sat next to his side, holding his iv covered hand in mine.

"your parents and sister were here earlier, but they left. aaliyah was too worked up to stay," i said, keeping his hand in mine, "you have been asleep for a while, it's really early. god, i'm so happy you're awake."

his ventilator hissed, and he groaned softly.

i pushed myself off the bed, feeling him take my hand in his immediately. he shook his head slowly, squeezing my hand.

he didn't want me to leave.

"i'll be back, baby, i have to go find a doctor and tell them you are awake," i assured, kissing his head again.

he kept his grip tight, a pleading look in histories eyes.

"i know you're scared, shawn, i know you are," i whispered, "i'm not leaving either, i'm staying in this hospital until we can leave together. but your doctor wanted to know when you woke up, so i have to go find him."

he ventilator hissed again, and he jumped. when he let go of my wrist, i backed away so he couldn't reach me. his eyes stared into mine, and it took everything in me not to run back into his embrace.

"i'm sorry, i'll be right back," i whispered.

i could sense his panic set in, his body stiffening. he shook his head again, and i forced myself to leave the room. i ran down the icu ward and towards the front desk, the lady behind the computer looking up at me, "is everything okay, miss?"

"m-my boyfriend, shawn mendes, he's awake. he woke up," i breathed, the lady's face brightening.

"wonderful! what was his doctors name? i'll page him to his room," she asked, typing something into her computer.

"doctor munroe," I said, "our room number is 43d in the icu."

"perfect," she picked up a phone, "he should be there shortly."

i turned around from the desk and ran back towards his ward. when i got to his room, i pushed open the door and stepped in.

shawn seen me, and i noticed tears were soaking his cheeks. his heart monitor was beeping rapidly again, causing my stomach to drop. i ran to his side, grabbing his hand, "relax, shawn, i'm right here. shhh, you need to calm down for me, okay?"

the door behind me opened again and his doctor stepped in, "what's going on?"

"he's having a panic attack," i said, "i left the room, and it scared him. everything is scaring him."

"here, let me give him medication. it will calm him, and knock him out for a couple hours," the doctor said, stepping to a cabinet on the side of the room.

"no, i-i can calm him," i said, rubbing his jaw with my thumb, "shh, you're fine shawn. i'm right here."

"this isn't good for his heart-"

"neither is pumping drugs into him whenever you get the chance," i snapped, my voice thick with tears.

i leaned forwards, pressing my lips to his forehead. i held his hand tightly, "i'm right here, i won't leave again, i promise. you have to relax."

his ventilator was hissing rapidly, meeting the rhythm of his heart monitor. he was trembling, tears dripping onto his bruised collarbone.

"i'm here," i whispered repeatedly in his ear, his cries muffled by the tube, "i'm right here." slowly, his breathing steadily returned to normal. his cries softened, now just hiccups, "keep breathing, babe."

i turned to the doctor, keeping his hand in mine, "sorry."

he put his hands up, "no, he's perfectly relaxed. i think he'll manage without medication. how long has he been awake?"

"not even twenty minutes," i said quietly.

"is he in any pain? he can be put on a morphine drip if need be," the doctor said.

i nodded, turning back to shawn, "do you want pain medication, are you hurting?"

he shook his head, his eyes fluttering. but he winced, evidence that he was in pain. i looked back at the doctor and nodded slowly, allowing him to give him pain medication. he did it secretly, hooking the morphine onto his iv stand.

i followed him out the door, "when can the tube in his throat come out?"

"his lungs are still very weak, and breathing on his own could compromise his overall health at this point. we will run another lung test tomorrow and see how he is, and maybe it can come out then," he said, "he's a very lucky guy."

"okay," i nodded as he nodded goodbye walked off, "thank you."

i went back in, seeing shawn's eyes barely open. i could tell he was forcing himself to stay awake, refusing sleep that demanded control over him.

"go to sleep, i'm right here. i promise i will stay right here," i said, leaning forwards and kissing the part of his lip that wasn't covered with tape and tubes.

he looked at me, nodding slowly. his eyes slowly closed, his head tilting to the side slightly. he fell asleep, part of it being exhaustion and the other part being the pain medication. i sat next to him, glancing out the window and watching the sun rise.

i wanted sleep more than anything, and when i tried for long enough, i too fell asleep; hand in hand with shawn.

wc: 1332

all works by me:
- shawn mendes imagines
- therapy |s.m|