shawn mendes imagines {under editing}

helpless

shawn mendes imagines
imagine xxx
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shawn's pov

as i walked through the front door, finally home from a long day at the studio, i was ready to relax for the rest of the evening. my parents were away on business, leaving it just aaliyah and i. usually, we would enjoy time together, but the last few days have been rocky. aaliyah and i were having the biggest fight we have ever had, and i couldn't bring myself to resolve it.

two voices rang through the silence of the house, causing me to furrow my brows and stay in my spot by the door. i gently droped my guitar case to the ground and and leaned towards the sound.

"aaliyah, sweetie, please stop crying," the voice i now recognized as my girlfriend, kelsey, said.

why would aaliyah be crying?

i stayed silent, biting my lip hard.

"i-i miss him," aaliyah cried, her voice muffled, "i tried to call him earilier, but he hung up on me. i never realized how much i missed him until now. now that i have nobody else, and he's gone too, it's hurts so much worse..."

damnit...

i have been the biggest jackass to her.

 she came home from school, possibly stressed, and started yelling. since she never yells, i knew something was wrong. but instead of asking, i yelled back. i knew my phone rang today, but i was in the recording booth. 

it was andrew that hung up, not me.

"he hung up? what a-" aaliyah cut kelsey off.

"it is my fault, though, i did start this whole thing," aaliyah whispered, "he h-hates me, and it's all my fault. i yelled at him and i really did-didn't mean to."

i could never hate her.

"shawn does not hate you, liyah," kelsey said, "he could never hate you."

aaliyah kept crying, and my heart broke. i heard kelsey trying to calm her, but her assurance meant nothing.

what kind of brother are you, shawn, making your sister feel like this?

i don't know, but i need to make things right.

i followed their voices and entered the living room, seeing kelsey cradling aaliyah in her arms. kelsey's back was facing me, and aaliyah's head was against her shoulder. her cries filled the room, tears pooling in my eyes at the sight of her helpless state.

"l-liyah," i whispered, loud enough for her to jump and pull away from kelsey; who also spun around upon hearing my voice. 

"s-shawn, did y-you-" i cut in.

"i heard," i nodded, opening my arms for her.

another cry tore through her throat as she pushed herself up, hurrying into my embrace. she crashed into me, her arms wrapping around my torso. her body shook in my arms as she cried, and kelsey bit her lip.

"i'm so sorry, aaliyah, god i'm so sorry about everything that's happened between us," i whispered, a tear slipping down my cheek, "i'm sorry i've been such an idiot."

"no," she said, "i'm sorry, this is my fault. you h-hate me, and i deserve it."

"this isn't your fault, and i don't hate you," i shook my head, glancing at kelsey who sent me a soft smile, "i will never, ever hate you. no matter what is going on, you're my sister."

she sighed shakily, not letting go of me, "you hung up."

"no," i breathed out shaikly, "that was andrew. i was in the recording booth. i wouldn't hang up on you. never."

"i'm sorry," she croaked, her voice frail.

"stop apologizing," i said, "we are both in the wrong, okay? it takes two to fight."

"i'm going to leave you two alone," kelsey said, standing up and pressing a kiss to my cheek as she walked past, "see you later, guys." with a final wave, she stepped out the front door and shut it softly behind her.

"aaliyah," i whispered, "is there anything else bothering you? when you came home yelling, i should have just asked if you were okay rather than being an idiot and yelling back."

"i-i was just stressed," she said, her words not convincing in the slightest.

"you're lying," i said, "tell me what's wrong, i'm right here. i'm not going anywhere, not anymore."

she sat down on the couch, me following suit, "t-the kids at school. they call me names and put notes in my lockers. the people i thought were my best friends are the reason i can't look at myself in the mirror. i didn't tell kelsey, but i called her over because i-i didn't trust my-myself alone."

my jaw fell, my blood running cold, "a-aliyah, please don't tell me you were going to hurt yourself in anyway. i don't think i-" 

"i wanted to, s-shawn, it was all i thouhgt about. t-they call me names. i-it hurts so much, i can't deal with it anymore," she whispered, my heart plummeting, "a-and i didn't have you, i felt so a-alone."

"aaliyah," i whispered, a continuous stream of tears falling down both of our faces, "no, you'll always have me, no matter if we're fighting or not speaking. it doesn't matter. i don't think i could live with the thought of you in this kind of pain." i pulled her close, her body crumbling into my embrace.

aaliyah has never been through bullying before, so all of these new and conflicting thoughts were terrifying her. she has never been downgraded to the point where she hated herself, and now that she has, i was infuriated.

"d-does it get better? does t-the pain ever go away?" she cried, her voice muffled by the material of my sweatshirt.

"it does, i promise," i said softly, wiping away my tears, "you should have told me you felt this way. i don't want you to ever hurt yourself, okay? or believe anything they say, none of it's true."

she nodded against my shoulder, "i-i was scared of myself."

"i know," i sighed, rocking her slightly, "you don't have to be scared anymore, i'm here."

"s-shawn," she cried, a hiccup shaking her body.

"shhh," i cooed, "it's okay, i'm not leaving."

i had my arms aroud her, hers around me.

never would i have thought aaliyah would be scared of herself, having to call someone over in fear of being alone. she has never been through this kind of bullying before and now that i was aware of the situation, i wasn't going to let her go.

wc: 1085

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