5 Seconds of Summer / One Direction BSM and DDM Imagines (Book Two)

Grief (BSM #41)

(Age 16)

*WARNING, THIS CONTAINS MENTIONS OF DEPRESSION LOSS OF SOMEONE AND SUICIDE*

Your best friend, Alyssa, had been depressed for a really long time. You knew that her suicidal may have been a bit more frequent but she always told you, and usually you could calm her down for the night. On weekends she always stayed at your house, after a few weeks you thought she was getting better. She had started taking her medicine again and seemed happier.

One night, her mum called you and she was crying, you didn't know what had happened, but finally heard the words, "She's gone! She killed herself," fall from her and through the other end of the phone. You didn't know what to say or do, so you just hung up, and started to sob. "Calum! Calum!" You cry loudly, not even having the will to move to his room.

Calum jumps up and rushes to your room, worriedly. It was clear across his face. "What, what happened?" He gasps, rushing over to you. He sits down on your bed and waits for an answer, he pulls you closer to him, gently rubbing your back. "Hey hey, you have to tell me what's wrong?" He whispers, frowning. His voice is soft and full of comfort.

You look up at him, starting to sound like Alyssa's mom on the phone. "A-Alyssa k-killed herself! I l-lost my best friend!" You cry, hitting your hands against the bed. You didn't know how else to process it, you wanted to scream and hit something, the amount of grief that washed over you, it was like a flood and it was all too much.

Calum gasps, of course he was close with Alyssa. She was like another little sister to him. "Oh god, sweetheart." He whispers, trying not to cry, knowing he needs to try and be strong for you.

"What am I gonna do?" You cry, you felt like you were suffocating, you try and stop sobbing, taking deep breaths.

"Hey, hey, Y/N, you need to calm down, okay? You're gonna make yourself sick." He coos, rubbing your back gently. "I know, I know this is awful, but you'll be okay, in time. Everything heals through time." He coos, gently rocking you.

"How long? How long do I have to feel like this? I lost my best friend! She understands me! She understood me!" You cry, correcting yourself because she was gone now, and you needed to accept that.

"I don't know sweetheart. I don't know." He sighs, just pulling you close to him. He hugs you as tight as he can sighing heavily.

"I can't believe she's gone." You cry. "Like she's actually gone. She's not coming back, Cal. She's not! She's dead!" You cry, hoping the more you say it the more real it would feel.

"I know, darling, I know. I think you need to try and sleep some more, okay? It'll help." He whispers. "I'm going to go downstairs and make you some warm tea, and you'll stay in my room tonight. No room for argument." He says, his hand sliding down the wooden rail as he walks down the steps.

You couldn't help it. You stand up and walk to your bookshelf, feeling down the bottom of it. The only light on was a dim lamp that you occasionally read by. You find what you're looking for, a small, well medium sized box, it was a photo box. It was a darker pink with pastel pink polka dots on it.

You knew Calum would be gone for a little bit, he had to warm the tea and everything.You gently dust the top of the box off, carefully opening it. It had pictures of you and Alyssa, things you made, friendship bracelets, things like that. It was a memory box.Your hands run over each thing, picking up the various photostrips, remembering each moment vividly in your mind.

You close your eyes, not wanting to forget a single thing about her. It sucked, it hurt, you'd always remember her as what she looked like now, you'd never get to see what she grew up to be. Something about that seemed to bother you the most. You'd never get to see her prosper. You knew she would've.

You sigh softly, starting to sob again, the tears uncontrollable now. You press at your eyes, your nails lightly pressing against your skin. "Y/n..I know you're upset but you can't torture yourself like this." Calum sighs, turning toward the nightstand and setting the mugs of tea down.

You look up at him. "I-I know, I just, I needed to." You whisper, standing up. You didn't know what else to do. You tuck the box away, you could do this again, another day.

"What kind of tea is it?" You ask, sitting down on your bed, trying to calm yourself down a bit, and change the subject.

"Rasberry, your favorite." Calum nods, motioning you to follow him to his room.

You sigh and sit on his bed bringing the quilt over your lap. You wrap your thin fingers around the mug of tea. You take small sips sighing. 

"After you finish your tea, we'll have a busy weekend." He sighs knowing the funeral would be in a few days.

A few days later, on Sunday was the funeral. You picked out a black dress and some flats, sighing getting in the car with Calum.

Alyssa's mum had let you say something at the funeral. You sigh and walk up to the small podium type thing. "Uh hello." You say. "Alyssa was my best friend, and I guess she still is. I dunno we had a lot of fun and maybe this will give me some closure. Alyssa had been depressed for a while and I like to think that I helped her for a while. Actually, I know I did because she told me that. And now that she's gone, the only thing I can do anymore is cry, but everything happens for a reason, and I don't want her to be remembered as the depressed girl. I want her to be remembered as the girl who loved dogs and had such a bright smile, and always put others before herself. She was the girl who always gave advice and, more importantly she was the girl who always was there for me. She knew me better than anyone, and I hope she's happier now. This is my final goodbye, so goodbye. I love you." You whisper, that very last part, starting to cry, you rush down the steps to Calum, burying your face in him, his arms wrapped tightly around you.   

Authors Note

Hey guys! Sorry! These have been a bit longer, but I think you like that! This one was a bit dark. Hope thats okay!

All the love, 

Taylor