5 Seconds of Summer / One Direction BSM and DDM Imagines (Book Two)

These Things Take Time (BSM #49)

WARNING: EXTREME MENTIONS OF DEATH, SUICIDE, GRIEVING, LOSS OF A FAMILY MEMBER, DEPRESSION.

Calum sighs heavily. His routine hadn't changed in years, he would get up, brush his teeth, go to the bathroom and then knock on your door to wake you up for school. Of course you never got up on the first time, he had to promise to stop and get coffee or something before you'd even think about getting up.

But now that you were... you were gone, he didn't do that anymore. But it took him an entire year to break the habit. You were only 16, you hadn't even gotten your permit yet. You couldn't even drive. That was what upset Calum the most, the fact that everything had been taken away from you so fast, that you hadn't even gotten to experience life yet. It was like someone yanked the chair of life right out from under you, right when you went to sit down.

He felt like things would've turned around, he was trying to make things better for you. But apparently, things weren't getting better, no matter how hard he tried. They just weren't.

Calum, for a while, he would wake up every day at 6AM, and go into your room, he'd knock on the door. Of course she isn't going to answer, she's dead. After that, he would open the door and lay down in your bed and cry. He would cry for a long time.

At 3pm it felt like it was even harder. It was always harder then because he was awake and aware of his surroundings, he was aware of his emotional state. Fully aware. And that made things that much harder for him, because he couldn't go to sleep and try and repress the feeling for a little longer. His day had started by 3pm, he had his coffee and he was awake.

Some days, Calum still expected you to come home, the school bus never stopped running up the neighborhood. No matter how many times Calum called the school, and screamed, "She's dead!" because he got so frustrated and it just made his heart hurt for a while.

Calum had found that the inspiration to write songs, it had increased. The songs were just so sad, and the fans could tell when Calum was grieving, he'd tweet lyrics from their third album, the songs written by Calum were very personal. They really went into his head. Some of the darkest parts of a person were in those songs.

The boys didn't understand how he felt, the only person with a little sister was Ashton. All Ash could say was, "Man I don't know what I'd do if this happened to Lauren." That didn't help Calum either, given it was around 3 days after the funeral, it just made him angry. So angry, because no one understood how he felt, and none of his friends ever would.

Calum had started seeing a therapist, it wasn't like he was depressed, it was more like he couldn't cope well. His therapist sometimes made him angry too. But she was a lot kinder when he got mad in her office and screamed and wanted to throw things. He would sit down and put his head in his hands, and eventually he would get the courage to look at her. "I just miss her, she was my best friend, and no one gets it. No one understands, and I don't think they ever will!" He'd scream, she'd stay very calm during all of this.

"These things take time." She'd say, very softly. "No one knows how much time, but they take time. You have to let it run its course, but you'll get better, over time." She whispers, her voice was soothing. It calmed Calum down, helped him actually listen to what she had to say.

Eventually, Calum learned that you weren't coming back, but he had also accepted that maybe one day, if there was a heaven, Calum wasn't sure how he felt about that, he'd meet you there at some point. And sometimes, that would help. Calum always thought of you, but he had learned to think of the positive things. He could look at things and still think of you, but he had learned to relate them to happier thoughts.

That stupid school bus still ran up here every morning and every afternoon. It didn't used come here in the mornings, but the new neighbors had a little girl and she rode the bus in the morning. Calum got her off the bus in the afternoon, it was a nice change.

He still had his bad days, those were usually on weekends when he didn't have something to do. Or on the anniversary of your death, that was the hardest day of the year, besides your birthday. He would leave flowers, and cry at your grave. The weather didn't matter, he did it every year without fail. Eventually, Calum went from seeing his therapist twice a week to once every month, he got happier, and people could see the light in his eyes again. He was able to enjoy tour again, he could hang out with his friends again. He started writing about the good times again.

His therapist was right. These things do take time. For him, time was two years, but everyone was different. He had his friends with him the whole time, and without them, Calum probably would still be taking his time. Calum was never his old self again, and he never would be. He was a new person, because after something so tragic, do you ever really go back to that person you once were?

Authors Note

This was a pretty heavy imagine. I've really opened myself up t writing some more depressing things, because mentally I'm okay doing it now.

I'm really proud of this and I hope you guys like it as much as I liked writing it.

If you guys wanna pop in and tell me what you thought that'd be cool :)

lots of love

taylor