Standing On The Fringes Of Life || Tyler Joseph & Josh Dun

:home: + .:didney worl:.

I don't know what was wrong with me. I was standing on the stage, and everyone was staring at the injury on my shoulder. I don't know how I got it, Josh was staring at me, completely horrified. And from there it's all gone downhill. April has clearly been notified by the clique spamming her instagram posts questioning on whats happening. She has been responding with "I don't knows" and "I'm on it"'s for 5 months now. I have more than 100+ calls from both Josh and April combined. I've been attempting to control him, but I need more help. April has been the only one who made him go away the first time we officially met, despite seeing her every once in a while when i went to Josh's house the year when he joined the band. I'd been tortured constantly by his whispering in my head. The only times I ever come out is to open for Patrick and the rest, and directly after that I go straight into my space. Tomorrow the tour ends, and I have to face April and Josh. April's been at home all tour, despite what Josh said about her being cleared by the doctor to be able to go along with us. I feel like I messed up staying as far as I could from human contact, especially from Josh and April. I looked at the piece of metal I had onstage, it was still bloody, i reached for it, placing it near my stomach, and that's when i realized he was taking control of me. And there would be no helping at all, the only help I could think of was from April, who helped me control the voices in my head a year ago. That was until I started to tour again, all the clearing April did with the voices was gone and the one I had dubbed Blurryface was the strongest of all. Making me do things I couldn't or wouldn't do myself alone. I was both relieved and scared from seeing them face to face again. I'd just have to deal with the trouble I've brewed at home.

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Today was the day I would see Tyler again, January 1st, 2014 and I was worried out of my mind. Since the day me and Josh had concluded that Blurry was real, it all went downhill when the lights went out and Tyler was standing in the middle of the stage with a wound on his shoulder, the clique has calmed down completely but they worry for Tyler. And all I was able to do for the past 5 months is reasure them that everything is in control and that Tyler's fine. And my dms are exploding by the tens of thousands of people that follow me on Instagram, saying to tell them what happens when I see Tyler again and how he is currently doing. I heard a knock on the door and I rushed quickly to open it, and there before me I saw the 2 most people I've missed. I threw myself at both of them, basically tackling them onto the ground, I started to cry because I haven't had contact with them for almost a year. Josh squirmed out from under me, but I stayed clinging onto Tyler when he tried to pull me up, Tyler had a sad smile on his face. He sat up, and hugged me tightly, and started to shake, I realized he was crying then. He looked at me through his both happy and sad eyes that were spilling over with salty, warm liquid, splashing onto my shirt.

"I missed you Appi. I missed you a lot. Oh god I love you so much don't ever stay away from me that long again."

"Never. Never again Ty. I don't want you to ever do that to yourself again do you understand."

"April I can't control him."

"I know I know. That's why that happened. I just want you to try your best, me and Josh will be there to help."

"About what I did to you guys.." He looked at me and Josh with a sincere look on his face. "I'm sorry I just didn't know what to do, i felt so lost and I, I just didn't want to burden you guys."

Josh squatted down next to us, "Ty, you know we're here for you. You don't burden us, we'd love to help on whatever you have going on. You just need to tell us or we will never know what's going on."