.:decide:.

17 2 2

by peculiarcolors

by peculiarcolors

"Welcome back sweetheart."

My eyes were wide, backing up, trying to get close to the door.

"Oh, you look so adorable scared. Don't be afraid. It's just me." He stepped close to me tracing a finger against my jaw, my jaw locked, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Blurry get out of my room."

"I'm afraid I can't do that sweetie."

"Why don't you leave me alone? I just want to be in peace!"

"I can't leave my child alone."

"I'm not your ch-"

"Oh no, not you." He set a hand on my stomach, he looked up at me and gave me a cunning smile.

"My baby is not yours, nor will it ever be."

"The veins on your stomach don't seem to prove it."

He raised my shirt slowly, and I looked down, and let out horrified gasp. There they were, faint, and slowly appearing were his infamous black veins. He dropped my shirt, an eyebrow raised.

"Now, what do you say? Is it my child now?"

"It's..not..yours."

"But it is."

"It won't if Tyler gets rid of them."

"You and Tyler can't do it if the blonde is in the way."

"Jenna means nothing to Tyler, she's just a friend."

"A friend?"

"Yes. A friend, nothing else, Tyler would never do what you're thinking."

"There's always a chance. Jenna's far more prettier than you."

"Stop it! Just stop it!" I reared my arm back, landing a punch into his face. I hit nothing at all, my fist found no purchase of his face anywhere, he was gone. I thought about what Jenna had done coming up to Tyler at the airport. Blurry was right, Jenna was far more prettier. But Tyler wouldn't do that to me, would he? I imagined her body laying alongside his, bare and pale, her hair strewn around her face. They were both smiling widely, and Jenna seemed to notice as if I was there. She mouthed 3 words. He's mine now. I let out a loud shriek and swiped my arm across my desk, all the items that were on there now clattering onto the floor. I slammed a fist against the deep mahogany wood, pulling both my hands up to my head, yanking on my hair. It was just an illusion wasn't it? I already knew I wasn't really okay from my state of mind, I yanked a sweater off a rack, and stormed out the room. Ash, Abby and Jordan were outside the door, the door barely scraping against Jordan.

"Appi are you alright?"

"NO!" I burst out into a tone of voice I had never risen my voice too, they all flinched and backed away.

"Appi at least tell us where you're going."

"To the tree house."

Both Ash and Abby were clearly confused, but Jordan knew what I was talking about. The tree house was mostly made for breakdowns and such, it was rarely ever used as something else, located deep in the woods we had in our backyard. When I had been around 5 Josh and Jordan had built me it, intending for me to use it to get away from everyone at the house, but being only 7 at the time, it was crappy for a while. As my need to use it grew daily, both of them kept working on it. The state I had left it in 2 years ago was a bit furnished, camoflauged to sink into the trees. I had what I needed in there, and only Josh and Jordan knew about it, nobody else did. I had been out the door, and I knew Jordan was behind me.

"Appi!"

I turned, and his face gave off the silent question if his presence was needed there. I shook my head, "Do not follow me, and do not tell anyone of where I am, not even Josh. No one." turning back around and heading into the woods.

I heard my name being called out by the girls, and soon they faded away as I entered the semi-safe protection of the woods. I still had the image of Tyler and Jenna burned into my head, the fallen early winter leaves crunched underneath every step I took. I had soon reached the tree house, the ladder was still hanging from the entrance in the floor of it, and the rope looked old and not so safe enough to be climbing up the ladder. I looked around the tree house, a bit of dust floating inside. Josh had thought about adding my favorite songs onto his old IPod, and as each year had passed the song list grew longer and longer, I headed to the fading discolored bean bag in the corner, and stuck my hand in it, searching for the IPod. I found it soon enough, and most of the songs I had were removed, the only remaining ones being the whole album of "The Definition", I clicked on the playlist, the first song streaming into the air was Munny Right. This was going to be a long rest, my birthday was coming up in two days, and I planned on skipping it. I was going to avoid any and all contact for as long as I could. I needed time to get my head cleared, in which 3 or 4 days would do. I sunk back into the beanbag, letting the sound of 'Munny Right' swirl into the wind and into the forest, where hopefully, it wouldn't be heard.

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It had been 2 days already, and still I had the sickening image burned into my memory. Only this time, more had been adding onto it. I could imagine Jenna's moans, calling out Ty's name in the middle of the night, the way he moved along with her. Sheets wrapped around them, the air hot between them, clothes strewn everywhere in his room. It had been keeping me awake, and deprived me of any precious sleep I wanted to gain. I was afraid of losing Tyler to her, with what all the imagined charms I thought she could do to gain him back. I had no use for my phone here, and I had left it back at home before I had stormed out. I had heard police sirens in the distance this morning, the morning of my birth. In what my mom had called a failed abortion. The whole day was going fine, I could keep myself, and I didn't miss the birthday wishes that must have been blowing up my phone by now. I was doing great at clearing my mind so far, and I was deciding to head back home, but the image and sound came back, stronger than before, Jenna's noises were louder now and I heard Tyler's pants and small grunts. I clawed at my face, my eyes blazing with anger, keeping in a tortured scream. Please no. I wish this would just stop, I wish Jenna could just disappear, forever. I threw the book I had been reading at the wall in a fit of growing anger. It wasn't time yet. I had to decide for myself.