I Will Always Be Beside You Forever (Roc Royal Love Story)

"Giving Up"

I stood in the waiting room eyes bloodshot red and nose stuffed. Everyone was here crying too. We’ve been sitting her two hours waiting for the doctor’s results. I kept walking up and down the hospital. I’ve eaten about five honeybuns already and drank like 6 cups of coffee to keep me awake. It was getting too cold, so I went outside and sat by a bench. I put my fingers together and bowed my head.

“Dear Lord, I come to you tonight asking for forgiveness and strength. Please forgive me for what I have done to hurt Taylor, Melody and everyone that was on this tour. Please give Taylor the strength to get better soon. She has lost a lot of blood and I’m asking from you dear Lord that she can get better please. I truly love her. I’ve made some mistakes and I’m just asking for forgiveness. I’m not asking you to promise me that Taylor will take me back, all I’m asking is or her to get better. Bless everyone who is in the waiting room today waiting to hear the results from their loved ones. Amen.” I looked up at the sky with tears in my eyes.

“Chres!” I looked up there stood Prod.

I got up and punched him in his face.

“Oww! Shit! What was that for?” Prod yelled.

“You did this! This is your entire fault! You knew I would have hurt her again! You knew that but you still convinced me! Why did you talk to me that night! I promised her Craig! I promised her yesterday that I won’t do anything to hurt her again and look where she’s at now! She’s in the hospital all because of me!” I sat back down on the bench and started to bawl. He sat by me and sighed.

“She’s never going to forgive me… This time she’s not going to even speak to me. She’s gonna wake up and hate me forever.”

“Don’t say that Chres. You should have hope.”

“Hope died a long time ago Craig! Taylor and I are officially over forever!” he sighed.

 “Guys come inside. The doctor has results.” Jhene yelled. Craig and I ran inside the hospital.

“Are you family to Ms. Taylor Renee Carter?” The doctor asked. Everyone gathered by the doctor.

“I’m her boyfriend.”

“Okay, well as you know, she has lost a lot of blood. She has many cuts on the sides of her legs and arms.” I frowned. “I’m guessing from self-harm?” The doctor asked. I nodded.

“Yes doctor.”

“Well, we gave her some blood and we’ll need to keep here for the rest of the night just in case.”

“Is she awake?”

“Yes. We’re going to have to perform some tests before we let her go. It would only take an hour or two. ”

“Thank you so much.” I said shaking his hand.

“Can we see her?” Prod asked.

“Yes you can, but only three at a time.”

“Okay ya’ll can go ahead and see her. I’m going back to the hotel.” I said.

“What?” Ray said.

“Why?” Prince asked.

“I-I need some time to think. Call me if anything happens.” I said and walked out. I need a damn drink.

 I sat with a cold beer in my hand in a bar not so far from the phone because of the numerous of texts I got from everyone. I didn’t look at them. There wondering where I am and I don’t want anybody to find me. I just want to be left alone. I need some time to think.

What Taylor and I had just went down the drain. Gone. They know it’s my fault. This is her second time in the hospital because of me. Good job Chresanto. Good job. -_-

I took a sip of my beer and sighed. Keisha is going to be so mad at me for drinking, but I really don’t care. They should be glad I’m not smoking right now even though I never tried it before. People say it helps when you’re depressed. I wished I had some good kush right now.

Time flew by fast. It was 1:30 a.m. so I gave the bartender $20 and took a cab to the hotel. The lobby was nice and quiet when I entered and I went to my room. Prod was snoring. Thank God. I texted Keisha goodnight ignoring all of my unread texts and went to sleep.

I had a hard time staying asleep. Part of it was because of Prodigy;s snoring, but mostly because of…well you know what I’m talking about. I dressed into a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and I put on my sunglasses. I placed the hoodie over my head and went to McDonalds for breakfast. I got myself two hash browns, a coffee, and a burrito and sat in the back of the store. I slowly nibbled on my food while looking out my window. I heard the door opening but I didn’t glance up. I ignored the footsteps that were nearing closer to me.

“Hey…” I heard a soft voice whispered. I looked up and froze. There stood Taylor with her hair all shocked out. She had on a oversized shirt and some leggings. She smiled a little and sat down on the empty seat in front of me. For some reason, my vocal cords just gave up on me. I just stared at her.

“I uh came here to talk to you. I saw you walking to McDonalds so I sort of followed you her.” Why is she here??? Is she going to kill me in front of everyone?

“Prod spoke to me-well everyone came rushing in my room shouting over each other explaining everything that happened. It took me a while to put the pieces together and when it finally clicked, you were already gone…”

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me.” I said flatly.

“Not me either!” She said smiling a little and ran her fingers through her hair. “Well that’s what I thought…Chres I’m so sorry for flipping out on you and overreacting. I just really disliked Melody and just seeing your lips on hers that day made me want to…” She stopped and sighed. “Chres, I woke up today with a huge smile on my face, happier than I ever been in my life. You see, I have a mission.”

“What’s the mission?”

“My mission is to make sure we’re back together today.” She said smiling. “Chres, I still love you more than everything. I’m willing to give this relationship a try again.

“Taylor I-.”

“We don’t have to get together today. We can do it tomorrow or the day after that. Whenever you’re ready.” I sighed.

“Taylor…I love you more than everything and-.”

“Yay!” She screamed and ran to my side and hugged me. :I knew you were gonna say yes!” I removed her hands from around my neck and looked at her directly in her eyes.

“Taylor I…I can't be with you.

You know when you watch a movie and something unexpected happen and you have that ‘oh my gosh! Did that really just happened?!’ face? Well, Taylor wore that expression today.

“What?” A tear slipped down her face and she quickly wiped it away. “You’re joking right?” I shook my head.

“I’m sorry Taylor. I love you, but we can’t do this again. I’m sorry.” I kissed her on her cheek and left. It’s best for the both of us. I’m 100% sure.