Driven Mad (Book 1 in the MAD Series)(An Avengers Fan Fiction)

Hank Pym

Hank scrawled down the lyrics to yet another song as he sat on his bedroom floor. This was the 24th song that he had written down in the past three days. Ever since Jan had left him, he wrote down the lyrics to every song that made him think of her. He had always been something of a poetic soul, but he felt the need to write it down. His hands ached, part from writing so much and part from when he'd been working on a little science experiment with Fury, though it wasn't exactly little. He'd been spending as much time on that experiment as he could. It helped him channel his pain into his work.

The experiment was the experiment of a lifetime. It was the things any other scientist could only dream of. The ultimate super-spy, Director Nick Fury, had a genius plan and he was genius enough to set his plan into action, but he just needed a little bit of help to finish it up, to tie up the loose ends. Hank was so close that he could practically taste his success. He worked nearly nonstop, only stopping when Fury forced him to either help his team or go to sleep.

He hated stopping. It was apart of his personality. Hank was obsessive. He knew that he needed to stop it if he ever wanted to have a sort of chance of getting Jan back. But a lot of new Avengers had their eyes on Jan, and Jan had her eyes on a lot of them. Jan had spent a lot of time with Warren and a guy named Nate had come to the Helicarrier several times and the two spent hours together, which made Hank more and more jealous.

Hank was beginning to have doubts about ever getting her back. Aside from her spending so much time with Nate and Warren, Hank had overheard her talking about how much she liked a man she'd met the night the two had split. She talked about him to Carol, Jane, and Darcy nonstop and Hank overheard them talking about the man, whose name was apparently Christopher, and he was seething with jealousy. According to Jan, Christopher was genius, attentive, a good dancer, and British, and Hank knew that he couldn't even begin to compete with British.

But Hank knew that the real reason Jan was so crazy for her new beau was because he paid attention to her. She'd really only wanted attention from him, and that was the one thing that Hank had failed to give her. Okay, there were a lot of things that Hank had failed to give Jan, but she really only wanted was his affection. That was the main thing that had driven her away and he regretted that. He knew that he had to win her back if he was ever going to be the same, and this time he wasn't going to be the way he had been before.

Hank spilled his emotions into the pen and paper, channeling his pain through his work. He did that a lot of the time. If he was going through some sort of pain, it caused him to work even more. Working let him forget about his pain and he felt better the more he worked. Working helped him get over a failed attempt at whatever he'd been working on, or a death of a family member, or just being lonely from not seeing his family or friends anymore. The loneliness was rare because Jan's company had always been sufficient for him. But the loneliness was really getting to him then, even though he had more people around him than ever. But he didn't have Jan, and that was all he wanted...

Hank finally sat down his pen on the floor where he sat and pulled himself from the floor. He ran his fingers through his messy blonde hair. His face was scruffy and unshaven, his hair messier than ever. He'd not slept or shaved in days. He'd showered once and he'd eaten once, but only because he'd been forced by Fury. He'd been running on nothing but coffee and willpower ever since Jan left him, but not all the coffee in the world could fill the emptiness he felt inside.

Hank ran his eyes over the song that he wrote down. He couldn't help but think of Janet Van Dyne when he read over the words. The words described how he felt perfectly. He felt so guilty and brokenhearted and lonely and completely alone. He felt like he'd never heal from that. He turned to the wall where he'd hung the 23 other songs and pulled a piece of tape from his roll of tape on the nightstand. But before taping it up with the other songs, he read it over one last time.