Part 23

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Seth's point of view;

Being mean and cold to Nicole was the hardest thing I had to do. It took every once of my strength to not melt at her sight and beg her to give me her love.

This morning pretty much all of our close friends left. Thank God John left too because he had to go do a tv show or something. The point is he's gone and I'm glad.

I was going to leave with Renee but my dad instead for Nicole and I to stay for one more day. Honestly, I don't know why she agreed to stay. I thought she'd want to leave and be far away from me.

"Seth, we're going out to eat. Let's go." Brandon says walking in my room. "Who is?" I ask. "Well everyone, dad, Kathy, JJ, his wife, and Nikki."

"I'll... I'll pass. I'm not really hungry. I'm tired. We slept really late last night." I say laying down on my bed. "Come on. You barely spend time with us."

"I'm sorry. I promise I'll eat dinner with y'all tonight but I'm really tired." I feel bad for not going but I'm not ready to see, Nikki. I don't think I'll ever be ready. Every time I see her my feelings get stronger and deeper. It frightens me.

"Fine. We'll be back as soon as we can." He says walking out of the room. I look around my room where I stayed when I was younger.

I remember I thought it was ridiculous the fact that Kathy and my dad bought a huge house knowing we would all move out eventually.

After a while I get tired of staring at my walls and the posters and feel myself drift to sleep.

<<••>>

I wake up hours later not knowing where I am and how long I've slept. The clock reads 3:25 p.m. 

I get up and walk downstairs. The house is quiet and cold. "Brandon? Kathy? Dad?" I call out loud. No one answers so I assume they're not home yet.

I get something to drink and then I see something out the window. It's a shadow. I put down my glass of water and walk outside.

When I walk to the backyard I see that it's Nikki. She's in a sports bra and shorts exercising.

I try not to stare but she's literally bending down in front of my face. I step back closing my eyes and trying not to look.

Nikki gasps and I open my eyes. "Were you stalking me?" She's sweating and panting. She looks exhausted.

"What? No? I just woke up from a nap." I say defensively. "So you've been here the whole time?" She asks. I then think about it so if she's here exercising she must've not gone to eat with the family.

She rolls her eyes and I realize I've been staring too long. "Yeah. I've been here the whole time." I say. "You were probably spying on me. Creep." She says angrily.

"I wasn't spying on you, Nicole. Don't flatter yourself." She huffs annoyed and walks by me shoving me. "Why'd you push me?" I scream chasing her.

She walks in the house and runs up the stairs. She walks to her room and I catch up to her before she closes the door. I grab both of her arms making her face me. "Let me go, Rollins!" She says writhing.

"No. I'm tired of you treating me like shit." I say aggravated. She tries to pull away again, "Let me go!" She screams again.

"No. Not until you apologize." I say. She's trying so hard to get away from my grip but I'm stronger and bigger than her.

"I'll never apologize to you, Rollins. You're not that important. You must be stupid to think that. Let me go or I swear-" I cut her off, "What are you going to do huh? Are you going to tell your little boyfriend to beat me up? Huh?"

Her face turns a bright pink and she writhes some more. "Apologize to me." I say holding her tighter. After a while, her eyes fill up with tears, "I'm sorry." She mumbles quietly.

I suddenly feel bad for doing this to her. I let her go and she keeps crying silently looking at me. Her face is so blushed, she must feel so embarrassed and I feel so terrible. I'm such a jerk. I made her cry.

"I- I didn't mean to hurt you." I whisper feeling ashamed for making her apologize. She doesn't answer just keeps staring at me. "Nikki-" she cuts me off by pushing me away.

"I hate you! I hate you. I hate you so much." She hits my chest over and over until I pull her close to me. She freezes and her messy ponytail is all over her face.

"Do you really hate me?" I ask as her warm breath hits my face. "You have no idea." She says more tears falling from her face.

I wipe her tears with my hands. She doesn't move away and let's me do it. "I wish I could hate you too." I say as my thumbs get wet from her salty tears.

"Do it. Hate me. I want you to." She says. I laugh sadly, "I can't hate you, Nicole. I've tried. I can't. You're my weakness." I remove my hands from her face.

"That's why you have to hate me, Rollins. That's why. Because it'd be so much easier. I can't stand the fact that you don't feel the way I feel for you."

"You're scared." I whisper. "What?" She asks, "You're scared to feel what I feel. You're scared because you know deep inside you want me. You desire me like I do. You want to be with me like I want to be with you."

"That's not true." She says almost breathless. "It's true. You know it is." I say. I don't know how I'm sounding so confident because my knees feel like jelly.

She shakes her head and I see fear in her eyes. "I'm tired of playing myself and pretending I don't feel anything. Nicole, I like you. I like you so much. I've liked you since you were eleven. I'm crazy over you. I want you. I want to hold you, to kiss you, to have you with me. I want to feel your body. You have no idea how crazy I'm over you."

"No. Stop it. Stop it." She says stepping away. I step closer to her and this time she doesn't step away. She stands where she's at.

I rub my fingers lightly against her warm cheek. She looks me in the eyes and she looks scared. Terrified.

"Please don't." She says softly. "I am scared." She whispers so quiet I barely hear it. "I'm scared too." I say leaning in.

She doesn't try to stop me as I put my lips against her. She kisses me back.

She's sober and she's kissing me back.

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