Pour que tu m'aimes encore...

PART 24...

Friday morning, saw Seb and myself waking early. It was a busy day and more importantly, the day I would introduce Seb to my brother. I don't know who was more nervous, Seb or I. I hadn't seen him in what seemed so long and I knew that he would have deteriorated and that was what was scaring me. What would I find?. What state would he be in?. Would he still be my big brother?. I only knew that I had to do this and love my brother, no matter what. Love was becoming more easier for me now. Seb had shown me that I could love again. That I could hold a place for someone in my heart without building up the walls and keeping them at a distance. Hoping and praying that they wouldn't break me again.

The plan was simple, so I thought. We were heading to see my brother before heading back to Cologne for the concert that night. It was only about a 2 hour drive and maybe the time to think would be good. Seb had offered to drive as I had never driven in Europe or anywhere abroad before.

Finishing breakfast, which I had ordered to be brought to the room, I suddenly felt the need to run to the bathroom where I was sick. I knew I was nervous but didn't realise just how much. I knew it wasn't anything to worry about as I didn't feel ill. I just put it down to nerves and drank a glass of water to get rid of the taste before grabbing my handbag and together, we made our way downstairs.The guys wished me good luck and we set off as soon as the hire car had been delivered to the hotel.

"I don't know how you can drive on the other side of the road", I laughed. "It's also weird that there are no speed limits on the autobahns".

"I was exactly the same when I started driving in the uk", Seb replied. "I couldn't get used to how many roundabouts you have".

"I prefer roundabouts to all these traffic lights", I laughed. "I'd keep having to stop".

We spent the next couple of hours making small talk about totally trivial matters, neither one of us wanting to assume what I would find when I saw my brother. The clinic my brother was in was in the small town of Bad Homburg, about fifteen minutes outside of Frankfurt. Driving through the gates, up the long and winding drive and parking in-front of the large, imposing, wooden doors, the only word that came to mind was clinical. Seb must have sensed my nervousness as he reached across and took my hand.

"I just want you to know that no matter what happens or what you find inside, I will be there for you...Always", Seb spoke as he leant over and kissed me gently. "I love you Amy".

"I love you too", I replied, reaching for the door handle and hesitating before taking a deep breath, opening the car door and stepping out onto the gravel of the drive.

I froze!!!.

"You can do this Amy", Seb whispered, taking my hand. "Your stronger than you think and I know that no matter what happens, you love him just as much. Now go hug your brother".

Almost grabbing Seb, I hugged him and whispered "thankyou", before climbing the concrete steps and pressing the intercom. It wasn't long before someone answered.

"Kann ich Dir helfen?", came over the intercom, asking if they could help me.

"Ja, Ich bin hier, um meinen Bruder zu sehen", I said, answering that I was here to see my brother.

"Und wer ist das?", answered the voice, asking who the name was.

"Jack Price", I answered and I heard the click of the door mechanism, symbolising that it had been unlocked and I tentatively turned the handle and we both stepped inside.

We waited for a couple of minutes before a nurse, dressed in white approached us and reaching out, shook my hand.

"Guten tag. Ich bin die Krankenschwester die fuer ihren Bruder verantwortlich ist", the nurse said telling me she was responsible for my brother. "Ich heisse Jasmine".