20 Ways To Kill Yourself ➳ Bullied By 5SOS

Chapter 7 - Roadkill

I could barely see straight.

The thick, oozing liquid was dripping down from the hood of my onesie onto my face, speckles of blood tainting my eyelashes. I wiped furiously at my face, running without a sense of direction, until the laughter sounded like nothing more than the sweet silence that encompassed me.

It wasn't until I found myself in complete solitude that I began to breakdown. I leaned against the brick wall I could barely make out in the darkness, my back sliding against it as I slid down, cradling my legs closer and burying my head in my knees.

I let the tears fall freely, all the built up emotion finally spilling over the surface and emptying out through the moisture that cascaded in a wet trail down my cheeks.

To say I felt embarrassed would be considered an understatement. I was nothing less of being victim to humiliation and I knew this wouldn't be something that would blow over easily. I took a deep breath to calm myself down, looking up at the full moon that shone brightly in the dark blanket of the night sky. The luminescence of the stars that littered above provided as the only source of light as I looked around.

My surroundings were completely unfamiliar and I came to the realisation that I was indeed very much lost. With a frustrated huff, I reached into my pocket with the intention of picking out my phone and calling someone to come pick me up from wherever this was and I could cry in a warm bed as opposed to the side of the street where I could, potentially be murdered by a serial killer at any moment in time.

Actually - now that I think about it, it doesn't sound like such a bad thing.

And not to mention, there were two problems: the only people I could call were Ashton, or mother. I didn't want to call my brother, considering the fact that he left me to be by myself and I was still mad at him for that matter. And I didn't want to call mom either. I wasn't in any mood or emotional state to explain the reason as to why I was drenched in blood. I didn't want her to know... that I was being bullied, or that I had been for a long time now.

But then I realised that I didn't have to do either as my heart sank further in my chest, practically falling through my butt hole as I tapped the sides of my onesie, not feeling my phone... or any pockets either.

Great. This night couldn't possibly get any worse could it?

Except, I would rather keep that thought to myself. Remembering all those movies I spent hours watching, you never say shit like that. When you say it can't get worse - it definitely does.

It didn't sound like such a bad idea, but when the gentle breeze rushed past and rustled the leaves hanging from the the branches of the overhead trees in an ominous way, I began to regret walking around in hopes I would actually get somewhere.

I wrapped my fleece wrapped arms around my body, continuing to walk onwards into god knows where, only stopping when I looked around and saw nothing more than trees. Although I was tempted to answer the call of nature and empty my bladder in the nearest bush, I thought twice at how uncomfortable that would be in the middle of the goddamn woods. Now that would be the part in horror movies where the victim would be stalked, kidnapped and brutally murdered, and I didn't fancy being caught taking a piss...

Goosebumps rose up and down the skin of my arms, and I looked around wearily. I decided to hum a tune to myself to make me feel like I was less alone, but that didn't help too well.

I stopped dead in my tracks, rolling it off as though my imagination was playing tricks on me. But when the sound of a twig snapping entered my ear holes for a second time, and then a third, I suspected it to be something a little more than my own subconscious.

And sure enough my suspicions were confirmed as I squinted my eyes, fixating on the figure, or rather, figures that were slowly approaching me in the darkness.

My eyes widened as I realised just who the fuck was stalking me.

Luke.

Calum.

Michael.

Ah hell naw.

I turned around in the exact opposite direction and just ran.

Ran off to wherever the hell my legs would carry me.

There were no streetlights either to add to that fact, so I didn't have much luck in finding my way. I just really wanted to be home right now.

I had enough for one night.

I really didn't want to be tortured further.

I stopped after I could no longer hear their footsteps, glad that I had lost them, heaving as I struggled to catch my breath.

The blood was starting to dry up, forming clumps on my skin and clothes. I grimaced, scraping them off. I needed a shower... and a pee. So bad....

A lump started to reform in my throat at the thoughts of how helpless I actually was began to settle in. Seeing the clear tarmac road laid out in front of me, without hesitation, I situated myself in the middle of it.

I sat there cross legged for a while and played around with the shoelaces of my converses, tying and untying them as I waited.

Despite my current situation, I felt strangely at peace.

As opposed to sitting in the middle of the night at 2 am, it felt more like I was sitting casually at the park.

I was so ready to just end it all.

So ready to just give it all up.

A smile made its way to my face as I saw a bright light in the distance.

Coming closer.

And closer.

The two headlights became clearer.

The sound of the tires sliding smoothly against the road.

The engine pumping.

My heart beating slowly.

My breathing steady.

I waited for the car to hit me.

Number 3: Become roadkill