20 Ways To Kill Yourself ➳ Bullied By 5SOS

Chapter 42 - First day

(quick little a/n): each of the three days will get their own chapters but i do warn that they are quite short so i'll be releasing each chapter on consecutive days so today is day 1, tomorrow is day 2 and sunday will be day 3 and there will also be an additional day called "final hour" that will be released on monday ^_^

"Hey, Ash..." I began, softly holding his cold hand in my warmer ones. Just the sight of him made me want to shed tears, but I choked back, swallowing a lump that formed in my throat. I coughed and cleared my throat, begging myself to stay strong.

Stay strong...

Not for myself, but for Ashton too.

"So I left Kathryn's house yesterday for the first time." I started, laughing slightly as I imagined my brother giving me a surprised gasp at hearing the fact that I actually decided to go somewhere. "Actually it was Michael. He... he, let me stay at his apartment and I don't know how to feel." I continued, stuttering halfway, truly conflicted.

I was digging a hole with all these thoughts that slowly drove me towards the brink of insanity.

Was he acting this way as a genuine show of emotion?

Was he treating me nicely because he felt sorry for me and pitied me for the fact that I had lost my entire family? And I was practically sitting beside a brother whose heart could not beat on it own accord.

Or was it just a facade?

I shook my head, dismissing those thoughts before I dug a hole too deep.

"He let me sleep in his bed..." I spoke, but my eyes widened as I realised what I said. "- but not with him! No, no! He took the couch instead and, and... yeah...." I clarified, a rose tint painting my cheeks as a small smile pulled on my lips. I quickly retracted my statement and corrected it, but the smile on my face quickly replaced itself as a frown.

I thought to myself.

Ashton probably couldn't even hear me.

Was I just convincing myself because I was too scared of the truth?