20 Ways To Kill Yourself ➳ Bullied By 5SOS

Chapter 16 - Coma

"Shit Maya." I heard a voice say, but I was too weak to muster any kind of strength and face the source, feeling the coldness of the snow seep through my skin and chilling my bones as I wished I could just die of frostbite.

I could feel a pair of arms hook under my legs and one cradling under my neck, lifting me up and my dead, brown eyes met with Ashton's worried, hazel ones. "What the hell happened." He inquired, to which I kept silent, not wanting to uncover the endeavours of my attackers.

"I don't remember." I breathed out instead, my teeth chattering as a cold wind blew through the air and made goosebumps pepper across my skin.

"As soon as you left I went out to find you. I never thought it would be in an alleyway." He shook his head, trailing off towards the last part and observing my most likely bruised face.

He carried me in silence despite my pleas for him to put me down, claiming that I was perfectly capable of walking myself and hoping I wasn't too heavy. As we reached the house, he finally put me down on one of the kitchen stools that faced the counter, rushing upstairs and returning with a blanket that he draped over my shoulders as I pulled the material closer to my frail body. He then proceeded to open the freezer and rummaged through. I looked round, my head spinning and my entire body aching as I found neither of my parents in sight.

"Where are they?" I asked Ashton, wincing as he held a bag of frozen peas to my eye.

"Basement, heard them talking about something before I left." He said, as I held the bag to my face with my own hand, thanking him.

All of a sudden, he leant against the countertop, his head buried in his hands and his fingers practically digging into his skull. He groaned in pain and began to breathe heavily as I grew more concerned.

"Umm, are you okay Ashton?" I stood wearily, the frozen peas falling from my hands as worry took over me at the sight of my brother, my pain forgotten as I focused on his.

"Yeah I'm fine, just a headache." He muttered. "Are you?" He reciprocated the question, turning to face me while I just shrugged. I didn't know how to feel with... everything going on in my life all at once like a disastrous hurricane of stress and anxiety.

"What happened back there?" I dreaded that question as he rendered back to when I ran into Michael and Luke, only he saw the aftermath and again I replied with the same thing.

"I don't know. I was just upset and angry that mom wouldn't listen and I ran out to clear my head and the next thing I knew, I was lying in the snow in the middle of that alleyway." I shrugged, concealing the truth and talking so fast.

I expected him to give me an unbelieving stare or force me to tell the truth, but the question he directed at me next was one that put me into a whirl of confusion.

"Is that really why he's here? Because he needs a place to stay?" He looked at me with desperation in his eyes, pleading to tell him opposite.

"I went snooping the other day... and might have taken a peek through his messages after I found his phone." I nodded, looking down at my nails that I began to pick, somewhat ashamed at my actions and hoping he wouldn't guilt me into confession.

"I believe you." He nodded after a minute of silence, most likely thinking over the possibility. "11 years just to be with us again. That's the bullshit I refused to believe." He continued.

"You have to help me convince her." I whispered, his next statement interrupted by the sound of footsteps. We both turned our heads at the appearance of mom and the sperm donor that joined our presence in the kitchen.

"Maya, where have you been?!" Mother scolded at once, embracing me at the same time and giving me the typical angry, motherly glare.

"It doesn't matter." Ashton answered for me, to which I was glad to not have to answer myself.

"I'm sorry about earlier, not a great way to spend your birthday." She began, to which I mirrored the apology for my rash behaviour.

"I know it's not really breakfast anymore, but I made you birthday pancakes." She pointed out to the stove where a stack of cold pancakes awaited.

"Thanks mom, but, uhh, you really didn't have to..." I muttered, truly grateful, but finding myself in a dilemma. I didn't want to eat, but at the same time, I didnt want to make her feel any worse about having a shitty daughter...

So after she cooked a batch of fresh ones, I swallowed hard and attempted to get myself to eat, forcing the first morsel into my mouth. It was hot and fluffy, my empty insides grumbling furiously as this was my first meal in days.

To say I felt good after that, would be a complete lie. I felt so nauseas that I was afraid my stomach would turn in on itself. I tried to keep it down with a glass of water, but I couldn't help it. After starving myself for too long, my body had taken a toll on itself as I catapulted to the sink, the contents of my stomach emptying out into the drain.

I felt a hand rub my back as I continued to vomit until there was nothing else but bile and tears streaming from my eyes.

The room wouldn't stop spinning,

My head felt like it weighed a tonne.

The pain was unbearable.

The voices around me sounded further and further, almost fading into the distance.

My vision started to distort as I tried to focus it.

I couldn't hear her words, but I could just about make out what she was saying from the movement of her lips.

Are you okay?

No.

I never was...

My body dropped to the floor and everything around me started to swirl. 

I felt like my head was about to explode and suddenly it was as if the world turned off. Everything was silent and I could practically hear the thoughts in my head. 

Number 6 - Fall into a coma and never wake up