So Far Away | Min Yoongi

32.0

It looks amazing.

The machine that I bought thirty minutes ago is now wrapped in a plain red felt paper, tied with a golden glittery bow with silver swirls of curly confetti tied just under the middle of the bow. I stared at it.

I finally got it. I finally got something that he's been working hard for. It's as if it was meant to bought by me. It's as if I was meant to give this to me.

I continue to stare at it as I roll the remaining felt paper. All I could think about is his reaction when I finally have the chance to give this to him. His joy, his laughter, his smile.

His happiness.

That's the best gift i'd get for Christmas.

*

"Eunji, we need to talk."

The sudden appearance of my mom from my doorway made me jolt up from my bed. I brushed away the wrapping papers aside, hiding it under my pillow. I glanced at the present I bought Yoongi which is just right under my desk, behind a paper bag filled with papers. It's almost too big to be hidden, but still quite unnoticeable.

She can't know that I bought something as expensive as this. She'll figure out where I got the money from it. She'll figure out that i've been working. She'll figure out that i've been skipping night classes.

I can't let that happen.

"What is it?" I asked as casually as I can, putting a pillow on top of my lap.

She enters and shuts the door gently. She then sits beside me, her feet still touching the floor. Her usually bright face is somehow dull and gloomy, and her smile that is usually glued on her face is no where to be seen.

"Your school has email-ed me your current grades this semester and," She starts, sighing deeply as she massages the temples of her forehead. "It's 0.8% lower than your grade from last semester."

"I'm..." I begin, panic arising within me. Will she find out? Did she find out?

"What's wrong, honey?" She asks, looking up at me. "Don't you want to be a doctor? Being a doctor means you should have the best grades."

"I-I know, it's just..." I whispered, but now being able to continue.

I don't want to be a doctor.

"What?" She asks, moving closer to me.

"I've been under a lot of pressure these days." I lied. "I'll... i'll do better on the upcoming tests."

"That's good to hear." She says, her face lightening up. She stands up and begins walking out, but then she stops. She looks at me from her shoulder and muttered, "I hope you know that your dad and I have very high expectations from you, Eunji."

"I-I know," I said almost instantly. "I know, mom. That's why i'm trying my... m-my best."

"Well you're not trying hard enough," she says again, looking ahead. "I wouldn't want your dad to be talking to you about this. You know how he can be."

My dad never thought of anything else besides his reputation. Because he's one of the best doctors in the hospital he's been working at for half of his life, he wouldn't shut up about how his only daughter would be a doctor one day. Or how smart she is, or how hard working she is. Or how much being a doctor runs in our blood.

"I know," I said, squeezing the pillow gently. "I know, mom."

"Good," she says for the third time. "Come out to lunch now."

"Okay, i'm just going to... fix some stuff." I lied again, holding my breath.

"Okay," she says, nodding. She looks back at me one more time and begins to say words that made me unnecessarily guilty. "Don't get distracted."

But what if I already am?