Replacing Them (Camren)

28.

LAUREN

Hi. Hey. Hello. 

Which one do I say? Or shall I just smile? Or maybe I shouldn't say anything. I entered the kitchen and she was sat there eating toast reading something of her phone. She hasn't seen me yet. What should I do. Fuck I need somebody to tell me what to do. I've never felt so awkward. 

I cleared my throat subtly and watched her head snap up right. She glanced at me and looked straight back at her phone. 

Shit. 

"So you're going to ignore me then?" 

Her finger stopped scrolling on her phone momentarily but she soon carried on. 

I sighed knowing she wasn't going to talk to me. "Fine, be like that" 

She didn't reply. 

CAMILA

I've been doing good. I haven't spoken to her. She tried to speak to me earlier but I ignored her. I think she gets the message that I want her to leave me alone. She hasn't tried to talk to me after that. Not even a text.

I'm glad. 

Okay maybe I'm not, she could have at least tried to talk to me after that. Surely. Oh well. I need to forget about her. Who cares because I fucking don't.

"Sof" I looked at my sister as she concentrated on the TV, "do you want to go out?" 

Sofia looked at me expectantly "Where?" 

I shrugged. I didn't really know, I just didn't want to be in this house anymore, be near Lauren. Fucking hell I need to get over this. 

"I'm watching a movie" Sofia looked back to the TV. 

Great, even my little sister doesn't want to hang out with me. I rolled my eyes and got up from the sofa. 

I left the room and walked upstairs to my room. 

My phone buzzed. Did she hear me come upstairs? 

Dad: Hey baby, you said I could see you if I was sober for two weeks. I don't want to lie to you I had a drink two days ago. I'm sorry. I have been sober since then but I don't want to disappoint you. I have been to see my sponsor and he will help me. I promise I will try this time. I wont fail you this time. I love you so much, please tell Sofia I love her too x

I wiped the tears I didn't even know had fallen. 

He had told the truth? He was telling me the truth. For once in his life, who is this person? 

Please don't go back to how you were Dad, please try like you said. Please. I know I act like I don't need a Dad but I'd rather you alive than dead. 

Camila: Thank you for telling me the truth. Two weeks Dad, you can do it! We love you too x 

I locked my phone and wiped at my fresh tears. 

"Are you okay?" I jumped at Lauren's sudden voice. 

I wiped at my face and looked at her. She looked worried. She looked so beautiful when her eyebrows furrowed like that. Fucking hell. 

She stepped in my room and knelt down in front of me. "Well? Are you okay?" She barely said above a whisper. 

I nodded and stared into her eyes feeling my stomach flip over again. I should be used to this feeling by now right? 

She nodded slightly but kept eye contact. Her eyes are mesmerising. 

"I should go" she whispered, her eyes still remaining locked to mine. I knew it. I knew at this moment she was feeling the exact same thing as me. 

I didn't respond. I just kept staring at her.  She didn't attempt to move in anyway. 

"Camila" I jumped at my mums voice and my head snapped away from Lauren's direction. 

Lauren quickly stood up as my mum entered the room. 

She looked at Lauren confused "Oh hi Lauren." She then looked at me and her face dropped "why have you been crying?" She took her seat next to me. 

I looked up at Lauren and she motioned to the door and left. MUM. You just ruined a really really good moment. I was feeling fucking amazing. Fuck sake. 

"Mila" she repeated taking my hands in hers.

"It was nothing, don't worry" 

"It wasn't Lauren was it?" 

I looked at her confused "No, why would it be?" 

She looked outside my room to Lauren's door "I don't know, she might have made you upset?" 

I rolled my eyes "No, she was seeing if I was okay" 

"Oh" 

"I'm fine anyway Mum" I smiled and stood up. I wasn't fine. I wasn't anything. I was confused. Lauren was confusing me. She was consuming me. She was flooding my brain and it was all becoming to much. I was going to explode. I know I was. 

"I'm just going to go to Lauren's room" 

I don't know why I told her that. It's not like me and Lauren are friends to our parents. We don't even talk to each other in front of them. I probably shouldn't have said that. But yet here I am walking towards her door. I opened it and quickly closed it making sure my mother couldn't comment or say anything. 

I turned around and Lauren was laying on her bed like she always does staring at me. 

"What do you want Camila?" It wasn't rude, it was more like sad. She's always so sad. 

I shrugged and sat down on the other side of the bed. "Can we just hang out? Watch a movie or something?" I looked at her hopeful. 

She looked at me and diverted her eyes and nodded. "What do you want to watch?" 

I shrugged "You choose" I leant my back on the cushions and watched as she set up the movie. 

She chose Mean Girls which was a good choice. We kept apart. The laptop in the middle separating us. I wanted to talk. Talk about us. I knew I couldn't though. She would only change like she always does. 

I love how I was meant to ignore her. Stay away from her yet I'm in her room, on her bed watching a movie with her. I have no willpower. It's almost laughable. 

She let out a laugh at a bit in the movie and I couldn't help but smile as soon as I saw the grin across her beautiful face. Her eyes were on the screen as mine were on her. It took her a few minutes to realise I was watching her and she glanced at me a blushed slightly. She's SO cute. 

My grin widened as I let my eyes fall back onto the movie. 

I was supposed to be staying away from her. What is wrong with me? 

I realised one thing about Lauren. She's becoming less sad. She's still sad but she's less sad. And fucking hell when she smiles or laughs it's the best feeling ever. She's amazing. And I'm a weak fool.