Replacing Them (Camren)

38.

Lauren

I'm letting myself feel something for her. Really feel something for her. Yes, I'm scared but knowing that she's going through this with me makes things a little better.

She's just so amazingly cute and I can't stay away from her anymore. It's too hard. Lauren and Camila. Camila and Lauren. Don't they just sound right together? 

I know I shouldn't be overthinking this because that will lead me to think about how our parents are together and how we're both girls and it will scare me again. Shit.

knock knock

My Dad enters my bedroom and I smile gently at him. "I know this is short notice but we're going to a wedding this weekend."

"Wait, who's getting married?" 

"Do you remember our old neighbours that lived a few doors down? Fred and his two boys?" 

I nodded. I remember we used to play together as kids and that included Chris and Tay.

"The older one Tyler invited us a while ago but I completed forgot about it. Fred just messaged me asking if we could make it and I said yes"

I instantly sat up "Wait, by 'we' you meant?" 

"All of us Lauren" 

"Nooooooooooo Dad. Please don't make me do this. I can't go to a wedding that A, that family used to play with all of us when we were kids. B, they know us as a family; you, me, Mum, Chris and Tay. C, I'm definitely not going there with them and acting like a family because that is something we certainly are not. How could you even ask them to come? They don't even know them at all." 

This will just cause unnecessary questions and looks that I really cannot deal with. Not from people who actually spent time with and knew my family well.

"I invited them because believe it or not, they do live here and are apart of our lives now and that means they will be joining occasions such as this one. I'm sorry Lauren but it can't always be like this. We have to start somewhere and old neighbours seemed like the best start."

I don't even know why I bother arguing with him anymore. I never get anywhere. Not like I used to, I used to get heard, used to get considered. Now he's toughened up a bit I don't even know what to say.

"Whatever." I look down at my lap disinterested.

"Lauren"

"Just go"

I hear him sigh defeated and leave the bedroom.

I don't want to go to this stupid wedding with these people. I don't want to have to answer questions about my life and how I'm doing. I'm just not meant for this shit. I could just eat some uncooked meat and make myself get food poisoning? Dad would definitely not let me go then.  Why does life never give me a break?

Flashback

"Does this look okay?" Taylor asks as she looks at herself in the mirror wearing a pink bow

"No" Chris replies "I don't like the colour"

"I wasn't asking you." Taylor turns around and looks at me. "Lauren?"

"It looks fine Tay"

She smiles widely and turns back to look at herself.

She's going to a friends party and Matt her boyfriend will be there. She's only young yet she's still trying to impress him. It is cute but also very annoying for me. He's all she talks about.