Replacing Them (Camren)

40.

LAUREN

I knew I had to find Polly and speak to her.

It was only fair that I did that. I treated her kind of badly when everything went down. She tried to be there for me and I just shut her down. Polly being Polly didn't give up and I snapped.

I could blame it on us being kids but I know that I was in the wrong.

"Dad, have you seen Polly anywhere?"

My dad looks at me stunned as if I was actually looking for someone to talk to. It was something new I guess.

He skimmed the room and shakes his head. "Saw her a while ago but not since. Around 15 minutes ago"

I nod and head towards the bathroom. "Polly?" I call out.

No response.

"Pols"

"Hold on" I hear from one cubicle.

I knew it was her from her voice.

"You okay?"

I hear a flush as she opens the door to her cubicle. "Yeah sorry, morning sickness just not in the morning" she rolls her eyes and heads towards the sink.

"So, who's the father?" I ask curiously.

She sighs "You remember Graham?"

I look at her through the mirror and nod.

Once she finishes washing her hands she turns around to face me. "You have no idea how good it is to see you Laur"

I let myself smile "You too, you've changed. You're more mature I guess?" I turn my head

Polly laughs softly "I'll take that"

"Listen" I begin "I'm sorry for you know..  what I did"

Polly shrugs "hey, don't worry about it , looking back I was proper annoying. Like I never shut up" she grins

I copy her smile but then turn serious "but still, you were trying to help and I shouldn't have hit you."

"Lauren, we were kids. I mean if you did that now, you'd get your arse kicked" Polly threatens jokingly

I laugh.

"How've you been though, seriously.  No bullshit."

I sigh. "I don't know to be honest Pols. I saw Matt today. Tays boyfriend and that did something to me. It's like every time I try and move on, it's there to remind me and let me know that I can't forget. You know?"

She nods.

"Apart of me wants to forget. Just for a while, is that selfish?"

Polly puts her hand on my arm and squeezes it "no of course not. You'll never forget them Lauren but you need to move on. It's been so long and they wouldn't want you not living your life."

I look at the floor feeling myself getting upset.

"I know how much they loved you and how much you loved them Laur. Can you tell me now that they want to see you like this? I've been around you for what, half an hour today and you're sad Lauren."

Polly takes her hand of me and leans her back against the sink.

"I know you don't mind me saying this shit. Otherwise you would have told me to shut up by now."

I look up and see her smiling at me and I can't help but smile back. I never even knew I missed her until this very moment.

"I missed you" I confess