Replacing Them (Camren)

43.

LAUREN

"Hi" I pop my head through Camila's door.

She looks up from her phone and smiles at me with the smile I want to just jump on her.

I return it "So about Friday. Are they still asking you?"

"They haven't said anything else but they are expecting me to reply with an answer" she sets her phone down giving me all of her attention.

I take a seat at the edge of her bed. "Hasn't Normani said anything about her place yet?" I grab my phone to message her right away. 

It's just a matter of time before they ask who can host the sleepover and that cannot be myself or Camila. Normani is the only one who knows that Camila is living with us so hopefully she'll try to make it her house even more so. I begin to type out a message

"Not yet"

Lauren: Hey, Camila told me about the sleepover, I know i'm asking you to do a lot right now but can you please please try and make it at your house?

Normani: I've asked and they said it's okay, I'll message in the group now

Lauren: Thank you <3

I put my phone down and looked back up to Camila. "She said yeah, she'll message the group now"

____________________________

Going to my friends houses is always weird for me. It never used to be. But now their parents look at me with pity and feel sorry for me. They try to hide it but that just makes it worse. And when I don't come around too often, they act even more sorry for me like I've been hiding away and coming round is me trying to get back into society. 

Before everything that happened with my family, I loved sleepovers, I loved going round their houses and gossiping but now it feels different. But then again everything feels different.

I knock on her door and wait for her to answer. She opens the door and greets me with a hug. When she lets go her face changes when she sees I'm alone. 

"Where's Camila?"

I answer "I dropped her a five minute walk away. She doesn't know you know remember and she was asking me how we were going to handle this and she came up with the idea" I know it's stupid, but i'm not yet ready for people to find out.

"Okay so she's okay with keeping this a secret?" 

I shrug, "I don't know" 

She nods "How are things going with you two anyway?" 

Why is she asking that? What does she mean. "Fine" I hope she takes my one worded answer as a hint that I don't want to talk about this.

She let me in and we head straight into the kitchen. "How you finding living with her sister, what was her name again?"

I sighed "Sofia" I take a seat "I dont know, it's a bit weird to be honest."

"Yeah I get tha-"

Just then the door went again which I'm assuming would be Camila.

Norman I goes to answer it "all this acting is making me feel like I could be an actress" she states before opening the door to her house

I smile at her comment.

They all enter the house and I cant help myself, i keep looking at Camila and every time i do she catches me.

It's like we're playing a game and I'm losing. I dont mind losing though.

Dinah nudges me "come on then, did you go on that date in the end?"

I roll my eyes sighing softly. Why did she have to bring that up. I dont want Camila to stop talking to me again.

I look toward her to see her reaction. I expected her to be sad but she looks amused. Sure, she knows I didnt go in the date, but shes amused that I have to talk about it.

"No, I messaged him the same day saying i couldn't do it" I bluntly reply.

"Boring" Dinah responds

Norman I laughs slightly "I dont know why, but I thought you would've gone, just as friends obviously"

I shake my head "that would've been worse, you know what he's like, he would have thought I was leading him on! That's harsh"

"Hmm, yeah I agree" Normani states.

I stare at Camila who looks back and then reaches for the chocolate in the middle. I look away. "Anyway, I didnt tell you guys.."

"What" Dinah says straight away

"I saw Polly the other day, remember her?"

"Your old friend?" Ally asks

I nod

"She's pregnant" I say

"No way!" Dinah says shocked

I nod again

"How is she?" Ally asks but then stops herself looking at Camila explaining "sorry Camila, Polly is an old friend of Lauren's, we've heard so many stories about her from when they were little! She seemed like such a badass"

Camila nods and then looks at me

I purse my lips and breathe out "she's great, I took her number so I'll defo meet up with her soon"

"Ah Lauren, I'm so happy for you!" Normani gushes

"Shut up" I say embarrassed.

I felt great. It wasnt much but I kind of opened up. It takes a lot for me to do that and I think they are proud of me for doing that. And I'm proud of wanting to talk to Pol. Especially when she's apart of my old life. My life when I was happy.

"I'd love to meet her" Dinah shares

I smile "maybe soon" I reach in the middle and grab and chocolate and throw it in my mouth.

"So, shall we watch a movie?" Normani asks

"Mhm" I say with my mouth closed as they all reply to say yes

We are all on the sofa and I made sure I sat next to Camila. I was on the end with Camila next to me and Dinah was next to her. On the other sofa was Ally and Normani.

We were halfway through the movie and I grab a blanket from behind the sofa to throw over the 3 of us. "Do you guys want a blanket?" I whisper shout to Normani and Ally.

They shake their head to say no

I get comfortable under the blanket and my hand finds Camila's.

Her eyes stay glued to the screen but her hand starts playing with mine.

My mind is no longer focused on anything but the feeling she's giving me.

I close my eyes and let the emotion take over as our hands play with each other, squeezing every so often.

I must've had my eyes closed for a while because I was interrupted by Normani "Is she sleeping?"

I keep my eyes closed but continue my movements under the blanket.

I can feel Camila shrug her shoulders in response to Normani's question. I internally smile because she knows full well I'm awake.

I can feel her finger move on my palm drawing shapes.

I try to focus on the shapes and some of them I think I can make out. A spiral, a happy face, a heart and the initials LJ.