Ride away

Chapter 43

*Clay's pov*

"Are you feeling better?" I ask breaking the silence that has been drifting around since I brought over her hot chocolate and her saying thank you.

I carefully watch her as she places her empty cup down on the table, looking up into my eyes.

"Yeah" she says rubbing her arms to warm herself up.

"You really shouldn't be walking around in the rain" I say and she shrugs. This was so awkward I couldn't handle it.

"I didn't really notice I was that cold until I bumped into you." She had a look in her eyes, like she craved for something. Maybe she carved the warmth from my arms. So did I, I really wanted my arms around her again.

"Look Valery I'm sorry. I'm not just sorry, I truly apologise for letting me in your life. I'm not a good person, we both know that but for some reason when you stare at me like you are right now I just want to be good. To be good for you. That sounds really fucking cliche but I guess I'm just a cliche asshole who fell for a girl." I say feeling as if we were the only ones on this earth and everything was frozen around me. As I watch her I start to feel like I wish I could take it all back now.

"You fell for me?" She looks at me in aw and I hate it. I'm not a soft guy and she can't just look at me like I am.

Yes I fell for her. I'd finally admitted that to myself but I wasn't going to admit that again to her.

"So how's college treating you?" I say ignoring her question. She looks at me annoyed that I have skipped her question but she shakes her head, forgetting it.

"Yeah it's better then I thought it was going to be." She says looking around the small café as I nod not believing a word she was saying.

"You don't have to lie to me Valery" I chuckle and her eyes snap to mine as if she was shocked that I had caught her out.

"Am I really that easy to read?" She looks at me frustrated.

"Pretty much nerdie birdie." I wink and she gasps but then starts to laugh at the old nickname.

"Shut up I'm not a nerd." She crosses her arms and does that cute thing with her face. Cute? Oh god softy Clay arises.

"Whatever you say" I laugh and she finally breaks into a smile.

"What about you? Is riding away from all your problems everything you expected it to be?" She stares at me which I lightly chuckle at even though it annoyed me that she said I was running away from my problems. Which I was and everyone knew it.

"What's with everyone asking that? 'Excepted'" I bend my index and middle fingers air quoting 'expected'.

"Because you're back, you wouldn't be back if you loved it as much as you thought you would." she shrugs and I knew she was right.

"Well I love it, it's the best decision I have ever made." I say sternly and I watch the hurt burn into her eyes as she looks down at her feet.

I was totally lying right to her face. I didn't love it and it definitely wasn't the best decision, in fact it was the worst. I couldn't prove everyone right that I actually did miss my friends and especially her. I just couldn't admit it.

"Then why are you back?" She looks back up at me with strength in her eyes. She wasn't this weak girl anymore, she has strength to stand up and not curl up into a ball.

"I don't think that's any of your business." I snap and she winces lightly but flickers back to her strong look.

"Yeah you definitely made that clear" she snaps and I look at her shocked. She definitely became stronger. I was impressed for such a small girl to have such a tone.