Ride away

Chapter 46

*Valery's pov*

I feel sudden warmth and comfort as I wake up. I open my eyes to see a beautiful sleeping boy beside me which makes me smile. He is gorgeous when he is sleeping, you can see the little boy he used to be, not the broken man he is now.

This is wrong. He broke my heart and I have a boyfriend who's coming home tomorrow from his trip. A boyfriend who actually loves me. I climb carefully over Clay and go into the kitchen to make myself a relaxing coffee.

I sit on top of the kitchen bench with the coffee in my hands as I stare at the wall in deep thought, the only noise was of the loud clock ticking into the next minute.

Why did I let him stay last night? Why am I doing this to myself? Why am I feeling so guilty? I haven't done anything wrong, right? I didn't kiss or sleep with him so I shouldn't be feeling like this. Maybe it was because I was falling for him and I have totally forgot about my actual boyfriend.

I'm not falling for Clay. He was my first love and I'm always going to have some sort of feelings for him. That's all it is right? Of course it is Valery.

I snap out of my thoughts when I hear footsteps walk towards me but I don't take my eyes off the wall.

"Any coffee left?" He asks and I nod pointing to the jug which he follows and makes himself a coffee.

It became silent again, all that was heard was the clock again. It wasn't really awkward though, just peaceful but I know we both had last night in our head. Yes we have had sex and slept in the same bed before but we hadn't in a long time and I think we were both thinking that we are rushing whatever this is.

"Listen about last night-" there it was, exactly what I knew he was thinking about. I cut him off knowing this conversation wasn't going to benefit us at all.

"I shouldn't of asked you to stay, I'm sorry." I say jumping off the kitchen bench and pouring the rest of my now cold coffee down the sink.

"Don't be sorry but I don't want you doing anything you're uncomfortable with." He says and I look at him confused.

"I'm the one who asked you to stay." I say and he shrugs finishing his coffee.

"You could of felt like you had to." He says as he slips his boots on.

"Are you going?" I watch him stand up with both shoes on, slightly nodding.

"Yeah I have a few things to do and I expect you probably had things to do as well." He says look unsure now.

"Yeah I guess I have some work to finish for class on Monday." I slightly smile totally lying to his face. I literally had nothing to say as I was finished all my work but I didn't want this to be anymore weird. I didn't really feel like being alone but I was happy he was leaving so I could think properly.

"Alright well I'll see you later." He said collecting his things and dragging himself towards the door.

"Yeah" I say and as I hear the door shut I sigh and walk to my bed to fall asleep once again.

I groan as I wake up by an annoying ringing in my ear. I sit up realising it was my phone that was going off, I quickly answer after seeing it was Nate and for some reason guilt flooded through my system.

"Hello?" I say in a morning voice.

"Did I wake you? It's one in the afternoon, please tell me you weren't sleep." Nate chuckles lightly, trying to clear the awkwardness.

"Maybe" I say not in the happy mood seeing I got woken up so suddenly.

"What are you doing sleeping at this time? And on a Saturday? Where are the girls at?" He says, asking way to many questions. I silently groan as I try to run my fingers through my now matted hair.

"I was up late last night doing school work, just wanted to stay in today." I say totally lying for what feels like the hundredth time today.

"Fair enough." Nate says and it becomes quiet, more awkward then Clay and I this morning.

"How do you have service out there anyways?" I ask him, trying to make conversation but also curious at the same time.

"I literally have no idea, we are staying close enough to be able to see land so must be able to reach." Nate says and I nod, forgetting he actually couldn't physically see me.

"Odd." Was all I say back, wanting to end this call so I could sleep more.

"I can't wait to come back on Sunday night, I miss you." I could just tell Nate was happily smiling, something I wasn't doing.

"I miss you too" I say not feeling any emotions for the word "miss".

"Alright Dad and I are about to fish so I better go, oh by the way they both said hey." Nate says and I slightly smiled. If it was for one thing, I absolutely loved Nates parents. I was honestly so jealous of how amazing they are as parents to Nate.

"Okay well go have fun, say I said hey and that I'm sorry I couldn't make it ." I say looking through the fridge for any food but becoming unsuccessful.

"Sure will babe, talk later. " he says in a cheerily voice.

"Talk later." I say and end the call, almost slamming my phone on the kitchen bench.

I give up on food and flop back onto the bed and once again I had fallen asleep but no one but Clay floats around my mind.

Why was he in my mind? Nate should be in my mind. Nate. Nate. Nate. Nate. Nate. Clay. Damn it!

I couldn't stop, I honestly was falling for Clay all over again and I didn't like it what so ever.

I fell asleep once again and had a dream with Clay once again.