Two shoes (Nathan Sykes Fan-Fic)

Chapter 37

Helloooo, so here we go next chapter and all that! Things are getting tense aren't they?

This is set 3 months later on from the previous chapter. In this chapter there is a certain surprise for a special supporter of mine...

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Nathan's POV

"Hey Lexi." I announced when I walked into the room then sat myself down on a chair, pulled up a table and laid out my things. I couldn't even remember how long she'd been in hospital for, it felt like a lifetime to me, I couldn't wait to see the back of this hospital. Her health hadn't deteriorated since she was admitted, her heartbeat had picked up a little bit which the doctors said was a very good sign that her body is recovering and should begin to come out of the coma. However her heartbeat picked up one month ago and she hasn't shown any sign of improvement ever since. But her stitches have helped heal up the cuts on her abdomen but they said she'll have some pretty big scars for all of her life. That made me annoyed because I wanted to erase any memories of Alex and I knew her seeing those scars would just remind her of him every day. Her ribs are also healing nicely, as are her other cuts and bruises which I'm happy about because seeing her all beaten up was heartbreaking. Although I wanted her to wake up already, part of me wanted her to wake up after she had healed so it wasn't so much of a shock.

I still see her everyday but now instead of sitting there and talking about nothing, I now bring my notepad and phone and start planning out Two Shoes. Sometimes I make business calls which is alien to me, sometimes I'll sit and talk to her and other times I just sit and think which I try not to do too often because it just makes me sad. I must say, it's coming along nicely and starting to take shape. I have told the fans already and from what I can tell, they are really proud of me for taking positive steps. Sometimes I'll log on and see messages from people who are suffering saying that it will help them so much and I feel so happy that I can be a cause of relief for some people. I talk to Lexi about it and I'd like to think that she would be proud of what I am doing...

The boys are doing well. Siva has done some catwalk shows, he took part in London fashion week for a smallish brand and then some of the big brands decided they wanted him and he's started to make quite an impact in the fashion world which me and the boys are proud of. Max landed himself an acting job in a big movie, it isn't the biggest role he could have gotten but he said he wanted to start small, especially if he needed to come and see me if I was struggling with the whole thing. Tom has DJed in some quite big places, he produced, wrote and released a song which features his DJing which went to number one. As a result, he was invited into the studio with Ellie Goulding because she thought his skills were insane. Jay is now a new presenter for Capital radio and from what the radio station has observed, he is slowly becoming one of the most popular and loved presenters they've had, he is also working on getting a job in TV.

It's not like they've abandoned me or anything, they always try to make sure at least one of the boys or their girlfriends is with me although lately I've been left to my own devices a little bit. Also, I know that if I told them I needed them then they'd be down as soon as they could but I'd never ask them to do that, I want them to succeed as much as they want themselves to do so.

There have been times that I've had low moments, when it all becomes a little bit too much and I feel the need to take things out on myself. I've only cut once since the whole ordeal and that was this morning... The boys aren't around and I can slowly feel myself slipping back into depression. I know that I could stop myself now but I don't want to. Lexi isn't getting better so it's hardly fair that I get better. Technically I am doing well, if I was to allow myself to take out all my anger and frustration then I'd probably be dead right now so I am holding myself back primarily because I need to live to see Lexi and I know she'd be disappointed in me cutting since she never did.