Unexpected Love - an intercultural Love Story

The unwanted feelings and the talk between siblings

my lovely readers,
here is the latest chapter of the book unexpected love. At this point I would like to say thank you so much for your amazing support and that you continue to read my story. I feel truly honoured and grateful. I am so motivated by you guys and i think that without you this whole story as it is now, would not have been possible. The picture shows Gracie and Shawn.

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You can close your eyes from the things you do not want to feel but you cannot close your heart from the things you feel. - Unknown.

Shawn's POV:

The moment I saw them kissing, something in me teared apart and I felt an immense pain in my chest. I immediately regretted coming to the rehearsal; I just sunk against my car and had to calm myself down as I sensed an immense anger going through me. What was happening to me? I did not think that I would see them actually kissing; I knew that I teased Enzo with this but I did not think that it was going to happen today.
I was aware that they played Romeo & Juliet but I did not anticipate that it would be so soon. They seemed so happy and the proximity showed me that both of them enjoyed it very much. I knew that my best friend and Jasmeet would eventually become a couple; I was positive of this, as it was obvious that they were attracted to each other. I had enough experience to see when two people were on the verge of falling for each other and my best friend and Jasmeet were a perfect example for this.

I really wondered why I felt this way and why it bothered me so much. In the past, I would not have cared at all if Jasmeet Hailee Kaur got herself a boyfriend. It would not matter to me at all. I would not have batted an eyelash at this thought and would have resumed with my life, ignoring the pang of jealousy. I also doubted that I would have felt this sentiment as I was ice cold and did not let anything affect me.
However, now it was a different story as something was confusing me and making me angry as I did not want her to be with anybody. But eventually she woudl marry someone else. This thought made me even more angrier and I felt like punching something again, which brought me back to the intimate moment I shared with Jasmeet.

I still felt her soft touch on my fist after I punched the wall, which touched my heart and made me soften, letting my guard down and acting in a kind manner and not like my usual rude self. She seemed so caring and kind, and her gentle touch felt magical, and I did not know what happened to me. I could just stare into her eyes, which were a deep sea, and I just got lost in them.
I wanted to scream at her, but I could not speak any words, it was as if something was hindering me from destroying this moments with my harsh and spiteful words. I did not mean to come and watch the rehearsal but I heard some people talking about their chemistry and I had to see it with my own eyes, as I did not believe these rumors.
How I wished not following my instincts! I felt something breaking in me once I entered the hall and saw them in a loving embrance. I was the boy who could not feel anything. These last days proven this to be wrong to my utter horror, and I started to realize that the feelings I managed to hide so well, surfacing again. My heart was going to get me into trouble I was positive that this would happen. It was clear to me that I was better off not feeling a thing as they made me weak and sentimental.

Suddenly I had enough and stormed out the hall, as I could not handle the sight of them being in love. It really did something with me and I just wanted to escape those feelings as my deepest fear was becoming real. I ran and ran, just trying to make this feelings go away. Out of breath, I halted next to my car and I just leaned against it. I let the last moments rewind and I could not hide that I was hurt and that I liked Jasmeet in a way. I immediately decided to ban those feelings back where they came from and I turned up my feelings. I do not know how long I leaned against my car, it seemed like an eternity to me. My thoughts were going crazy and I just wanted to make my sentiments go away. I hated the way I felt the last days, this was not me and wanted nothing more than going back to this emotionless state.