Always For Keeps ( For Keeps part 2)

Twenty Six. Scarlett

Song for this chapter: Coldplay and the Chainsmokers- Something just like this

There was a time that I would have considered myself strong; Invincible even. But as I cry again, I realize that I'm the weakest person I know.

They are too kind, Cooper and Luke, as they hold me and tell me it'll be okay. I'll be okay.
I wonder if I will ever be okay. If I'll ever be enough.
Not only for them, but for myself. I have never felt like I belonged anywhere. Not until I met Cooper.

We moved around so much as I grew up, that it was hard to make friends. I was always the awkward girl who sat in the back of the class and prayed the teacher wouldn't call on her. That they wouldn't draw attention to me.
As I grew older, I grew into my looks. I thought maybe then I would finally make real friends, but the girls hated me, and guys only wanted in my pants.
I would spend my weekends reading, trying to escape my reality. I would run and box with my dad. 
I was never invited to parties or on second dates.
I felt so alone, trapped in my own head.

I have friends now. Real friends who have shown me the true meaning of friendship, but there's something deep inside me that's broken, and I don't know how to fix it.

Cooper carries me to the bed after I've cried all I can. I close my eyes, but sleep won't come.
"Maybe-" Luke whispers hesitantly. "Maybe we should try and find her someone to talk to."
"Like a shrink?" Cooper whispers back.
"Maybe. I don't know." I know Luke is running his hands through his hair and I want to smile.
"We did this, didn't we?" Cooper chokes. I want to hold him and tell him it's all me. It's always been me, but I don't.
"Coop, don't think like that."
"I don't know how to help her."
"We be there for her. No matter what. We show her the love she deserve and stop being such fuck ups." Luke says sternly.
They are quiet for a minute.
"She likes the beach." Cooper says softly.
"Well make sure you take her there." Luke tells him.
"We both will."
"Okay. Let's show her that life is worth living. Let's be there for her like nobody else has been. You need to give her a baby." I know Luke is smiling as he tells Cooper that.
"I want that more than anything in the world. She will be the greatest Mom." Cooper says and my heart melts a little. I can't stop this time, I sit up in bed and move to them.
"I'm awake you know." I smile sadly.
"I'm sorry!" They both say.
"I think there's a lot of stuff I need to work on with myself. Thank you both for being here. I love you." I say as I kiss both of their cheeks. "And I think it's really sweet that you think I'll be a good mom."
"You will be." Cooper smiles.
"I hope so." I say and hug him.
"Are you mad that I suggested therapy?" Luke whispers.
"No Luke. I think you're right." I say and hug him close. "I've been trying to hide away my issues for so long that I think it's tome to get them out."
"We are here for you. For whatever you need." Cooper tells me.
"Thank you." I bite my lip. "Did I fail us?" I ask and look at them both. "I mean the sexual part of us..."
"Did you not like it?" Luke asks.
"I did. I just got super emotional and I don't want either of you to think that's going to normal. I mean if you still want me." I sigh.
"Oh we still want you. I promise." Cooper kisses me.
"Good." I smile. "I'm sorry for thinking you would be mad."
"It's okay, Scar. You're still getting used to the new me." He smiles.

We all head to bed soon after. I fall asleep on Cooper's chest, wrapped in Luke's arms.
I sleep peacefully.

Sunrise fast approaches and as Cooper moves from me, I grab his hand. "I love you." I whisper. He leans down and places a soft kiss on my lips.
"I love you." He smiles and kisses my forehead. "Sorry I have some work to do."
"It's okay." I nod.
"Sleep some more, baby." He caresses my cheekbone softly and I close my eyes.
When Luke's alarm sounds, I wake up and he is holding me close on his chest. His heart beats under my ear as he traces hearts on my shoulder.
"How are you feeling?" He whispers.
"Embarrassed." I answer honestly.
"Why, babe?" He shifts so he can look at me.
"I really did have a good time with you yesterday, and then I just kind of panicked." I blush.
"That's nothing to be embarrassed over." He reassures me.
"I hurt Cooper's feelings, and probably yours. I just wasn't sure how he was going to react when he found out it happened." I shrug.
"Well now that you do know he is okay, and I'm okay, can we proceed with all this?" He asks.
"Yes." I say and feel completely selfish.
"Good." He says and kisses my cheek. "Now if only I didn't have to work today." He smiles.
"That would be nice." I say as I snuggle closer into him.
"Fuck it. You're about to go to another country. I should be spending my time with you. Let's go to lunch. And a movie. And maybe bowling!" He says excitedly.
"Really?" I smile as happiness fills me.
"Really. I told you once that this job was expendable. I'm about to move across the country for an actual career. I would rather spend the day with the woman I love." He says.
"I would really like that." I smile against his warm chest.

We get ready for the day and I smile as Luke watches me put the finishing touches on my makeup.
I quickly get dressed in some jean shorts and a white tank top and head out to the living area.
"At least you're wearing a bra today." Cooper teases.
"The day is still early." I wink.
"Well you two have fun." He hugs me.
"Why don't you come?" Luke suggests.
"It's your guys' day." He smiles.
"Oh come on. We aren't going to fuck in the movie theater." Luke laughs. "It'll be fun, man. Get dressed."
"Is that okay?" Cooper asks me.
"Oh course! Please come." I pout.
"Okay. Let me get dressed really quick." He smiles as he retreats to the bedroom.
"You have a soft spot for him." I tease Luke.
"I like him. I don't know the old him, but I think he put a lot of effort into changing, and somebody once told me that everyone deserves a chance." He smiles as he grabs my hand.
"I can't imagine life without Paisley. Or Cooper." I smile.
"They sure grow on you." He laughs.

When Cooper is ready we all take Luke's truck for our outings. I sit in back as we head to lunch. The guys decide on Buffalo Wild Wings. It's pretty steady, but we are done relatively quickly.
"Now where to?" Luke asks.
"We could go to a movie, but we can't talk during it." Cooper says.
"True. Maybe we should see if Kare and Brett need any help? Ya know, with moving and stuff." I suggest.
"Good idea." Cooper says.
I call Kare and we meet them at the apartment.
"Hey y'all!" She says hugging us as we file inside. "We don't have a lot left to do. Brett's sisters helped a lot."
"Where's Hope?" I ask looking for my favorite little blonde.
"She's in Missoula for a couple weeks. Brett's sister CeCe and his mom wanted to give us some alone time. Since we leave for Hawaii in two days, we thought it was a good idea."
"That is a good idea." I smile. "Well how can we help?" I ask.
Since Cooper furnished the new house, all the furniture has been sold. All their other things have now been moved over, with the help of Cooper and Luke. Kare and I clean the kitchen, half assed, because Cooper already has a cleaning crew to finish the rest.
By five, we are all done.
"You guys want to go bowling?" Luke asks.
"That would be fun." Brett says. "Scar, want to text Cam and Paisley? See if they want to come with?" He asks me.
"Sounds good." I send them each texts and they are in. Paisley just has to run home and change.

By seven, we are all at the bowling ally. Paisley and I buy twenty Jell-O shots. When we get back to our area and lanes, Cooper brings over a bunch of orders of cheese fries.
I smile and hug him. "Have I told you today how much I love you?" I laugh.
"I love you." He says and kisses me quickly. "So don't be mad when I show you up bowling." He smiles.
"Oh? Is that so?" I says taking a step back. "You're on, hubby." He laughs.
We decide to play boys verse girls and I have to laugh knowing we are definitely going to lose. I am a horrible bowler.
Since the guys have one more, they let us put the bumpers up.
"Oh so you think we can't win without bumpers?" Kare asks. "Well you're right. Bumpers up." She says and we laugh.
Paisley and Cam go first at the same time, both managing to get a strike. We all laugh as we high five them both.
Cooper and I go next. He ends up getting a spare, and I get five pins.
"Nice try, baby." He says as I pout.
"It's a good thing I'm not a sore loser." I laugh.
Brett and Luke end up getting strikes as Paisley gets another nine.
"Having fun yet?" Luke asks as everyone else goes to get drinks.
"Yes. I am. Thanks Luke" I hug him close. "Are you?" I ask.
"I always have fun with you." He kisses the top on my head. "Even when you're losing terribly and you're a horrible bowler." He teases.
"Bowling is not my strong suit, but I'm still having fun."
"Good. That's the point." He tucks a hair behind my ear and I lean into his hand.
When everyone returns, we resume bowling. Cooper brings me a cranberry and vodka and Luke a water. I sip on my drink and Paisley and I finish the last of the Jell-O shots. Kare, Paisley, and I dance around in between our turns to bowl.
The guys are so far ahead of us that we try and don't even try. We toss our balls backwards, left handed, through the other twos legs, and laugh hysterically every time.
In this moment, as I look between all the faces of the people I love, I can't help but feel happy.
Growing up without friends affected me more than I could have realized, but as I look at these people in the room, I know that no other friendships could possibly compare. These people are my family, and I wouldn't trade them for the world.