Confusing Love

Chapter 41: The Future

Cameron's P.O.V:
"Are you comfortable?" I asked Shawn. We had finished eating and we're just laying in the hot water. I was on the bottom , and Shawn was sitting in my lap. We were both laying down in the bath tub. It felt good to have Shawn on my like this. We could just hold each other here.

"Well hold on." He moved over a little bit, his ass moving over a little bit, giving my package room to breathe. "Does that help you too?" he asked.

"Yes." I closed my eyes. Nothing could make me happier than how I was right now. I've decided I'm going to propose this Friday. I've told him and I'll tell him again that he's all I ever want and that I love him. I can't wait to be married to him. He's gonna love the ring I got him. Shawn burped. "I give it a 7 I say." He blows the burp in my face. I don't even care. He's laughing now and it brings joy to my soul hearing his laugh. I start to tickle his sides and he starts laughing more.

"Stop, stop." He manages to get out during his laughing. He's squirming around like a worm. I finally stop and let him catch his breath. He rolls over in the bathtub, so our chest were touching. He looks up, resting his chin near my boobs. He just looks me in the eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing." he says looking away.

"No Shawn tell me. Please?" I'm making a sad puppy dog face.

"I don't wanna talk about it. It'll be weird."

"No Shawn tell me. You can talk to me about anything." He doesn't respond. "Come one Shawn. I love you, remember?" He moves his head looking back up at me.

"It's about the future Cam." My heart started to beat faster.

"What about the future?" I hope he didn't bring up marriage. I wanted to ask him this Friday.

"Well someone said something that kind of made me start thinking today."

"Ok." I say. "Go on."

"They told me they thought I'd be a great dad." Oh. My heart stopped beating so fast. I'd never thought about kids.... with Shawn before. I always wanted kids growing up, but how would we go about producing them. Would we adopt? I don't even think I'm ready to be a dad.

"Oh." Is all I say.

"Cameron I don't know about you but I've always wanted to have kids."

"I have too Shawn. How many have you always wanted to have?"

"I don't know, I think 2 boys and maybe a girl."

"I think you'd be a great dad too Shawn."

"That's the thing Cameron, how am I ever going to be a dad if I'm with you." Ouch. That actually kind of hurt. Shawn sees the hurt in my eyes. "Babe I didn't mean it like that."

"No Shawn, I think you did." I moved over standing up in the tub.

"Babe no. It came out wrong. I love you! I was just thinking about how you and I would be able to have kids."

"You made it pretty clear Shawn. You can't have kids if your with me." I'm drying myself off with a towel.

"That's not what I meant Cameron. I just meant you and I can't have children the way I had always planned."

"And that's somehow my fault?" I'm done drying off now. Shawn has got out of the tub and stared drying off too.

"That's not what I said Cameron."

"How would it make you feel if I said I've always wanted to have children but I couldn't because I was with you? It'd make you feel a little shitty." I walk out of the bathroom into the bedroom. He follows after a few seconds, because he had to finish drying off.

"Cameron that's not what I meant. Honestly! I'm not blaming you because we can't physically have a child together." I slide my underwear and sweatpants on. My back is towards him right now. He grabs my wrist, walking closer to me. He halfway turns me around. "Cameron I love you. I just wanted to ask you if you also wanted to have kids. And if you some day every thought of or wanted to be a dad with me."

"Of course I've thought about that Shawn. I love you. I think about our future all the time." He's smiling now.

"So how would, you know, we have children?"

"We could adopt." I suggested. We were lying on the bed now. I wasn't mad at him anymore.

"Or we could have artificial insemination."

"What's that?"

"Well basically we would have to pick an egg donor and that the doctors would take a sperm sample and put the two together. We'd have to have an egg donor, and a uterus for the baby to grow in."

"You've really put some thought into this haven't you?" I ask him smiling.

"Yes but I don't think I'm ready to have children just yet."

"Good because me neither." We lay in silence for a second. "So who's sperm would we use?" He thought for a second.

"We could have twins?"

"Aww Shawn, that would be adorable."

"Fine then, it's decided. We have to find two eggs from the same mother and 2 uteri for the babies to live in."

"You look so excited Shawn."

"Well I am. In a couple of years you and I could be parents." My face blushed. "Why are you blushing?"

"You just said you and I could be parents one day." I pull him close to my body so we're cuddling now. "I can't wait for the day where we're gonna be asleep in bed and the kids run in to wake us up to open presents on Christmas morning. I love you Shawn."

"Aww, I love you too Cameron." We lay just like this. Unbeknownst to him, I plan to propose in five days. Five days and I'll know for sure if he truly honestly loves me.