"How can I save us?" - Brusnop

Chapter - 24 -

A/N: i'm so sorry for doing time skips... I find them really annoying to you and please tell me, are they? They're necessary so that Ben is more and more in love and depressed inside and there's band around and he feels weird and Danny acts weird but just friendly, being gay for him is weir in his perspective, he tries to distract himself with drinking and doing drugs every night and having sex with groupies. AND... You feel me? There's plenty of his feeling hidden. I want to show you how much he misses Dan and I don't know if it's clear enough in the chapters... Sorry for the long note xd

Btw are you guys irritated with the often updates? Cause I can slow down if you want hahah 😅

Before I noticed time passing, it was getting colder and colder and our tour, meeting fans, partying, drinking, drugs, playing and never sleeping enough was almost done. And that means Christmas and coming back home. But seriously... I didn't feel like it. I love my family but I really have no need to go back now.

I sat down next to Danny watching something stupid on youtube.

"Aren't you packing your stuff?" He asked me, looking up.

"Um... No, I'm not going back for Christmas. I'm staying here in the US." I sighed. "What about you?"

"Well I'm not going, obviously. I'm not even talking to my family." He said and memories flooded me like I was hit by the truck.

"I'm sorry for asking. It feels like it happened 10 years ago though."

"Don't worry. But you're right. It feels like we're living someone else's lives but these times in high school... It's not even a year and sometimes I feel like I have no past. Like I forgot about everything." He said, closing his laptop.

"You've changed a lot too, that can make a difference." I said looking at him.

He did change. He wouldn't bother about getting his hair straightened or anything. He had few more tattoos we got on tour. He had many normal tee shirts, showing his arms and half-done sleeve tattoo.

"You changed too, Benj." he smiled. "But I like these changes. We're closer than before and I even think that we have more in common now than then. I was a crying, cutting bitch and you appeared to save me and be that loser's best friend in the world."

He really did think about himself in such a terrible way.

"You were never a bitch Danny. Or a cunt, pussy, loser, stop repeating that to yourself. You're the best person I've ever met." I said gripping on his hand and determination in my words.

He smiled sweetly at me.

"That didn't change at all!" He giggled. "You're still way too protective."

My face and throat wouldn't listen to me and I laughed with him. He closed my head in an arm trap and rubbed his fist on the top of my head.

"You little shit." He said and let go of me.

"So what are we gonna do for Christmas?" I asked.

"We can get an apartment to sleep in a normal bed for once in a while. And we can write some songs together? We can prepare something for the new album already." He shrugged his shoulders.

"That's nice." I nodded.

"And we can finally get our sleeves done!" He cheered.

"Fuck yes! I want my arm tattooed so badly!"

We kept this conversation for a long time. It felt like these ones we had back in the uk, at home on my bed.

Then we had another show to play. And we spent our last days on tour being drunk and high again.