"How can I save us?" - Brusnop

Chapter - 39 -

We heard a knock on the door and jumped off the bed and pulled on our pants. I slid the belt around my hips while Danny ran to open the door. I kicked our shirts under Danny's bed to make sure nothing looked suspicious. I quickly sat down on that bed and pretended I look for something in Danny's bag.

"Hey Danny." I looked up to see James coming in.

"Hello!"

"Oh, Ben." He cheered. "Hi. I see I interrupted your deep anal so I'll just get the charger and leave." He laughed.

"Oh don't you wanna join in?" Danny joked along. "We just started."

"I think I'll pass." He laughed and took a charger for his phone; apparently he fucked his own up again. He left and Danny sat back down next to me amd pushed me to lie down and he traced my tattoos with his hand.

"I really loved it, Benj. I'd like to finish that." He murmured.

"Me too." I smiled and pecked this stupid head of his.

"When are we playing?" I asked.

"In an hour, we have to go." He winced, but quickly patted my chest and we got up to ge dressed. Then we all headed to the Download.

After we played the show there was a huge party Attila organised and we decided to go and get shitfaced, of course! It was in a hotel - thank god not ours - because we got kicked out around midnight because we ruined the biggest apartment in the whole building. But it was fucking worth it, it was amazing! We headed back to our hotel rooms, completely drunk, in great moods. I thought I'd join Danny because why the hell not. I sat down on the couch and watched him change his clothes.

"What's that? A pervy face again!"he chuckled.

"It's all because of you." I giggled. He turned on tv and sat down next to me, wrapping his arms around me.

"Do you have guitar in your room?" He asked after few minutes of watching a stupid show.

"I do. Want me to get it for you?"

"No, I'll go. You stay." He smiled sweetly. "And you better are naked when I'm back!" He joked with a weird voice and I watched him leave, laughing. I looked around if there was something to drink. I saw a bottle of water next to Danny's bag and got up to get it. I grabbed the bottle and noticed something on the ground. A notebook.

Is this Danny's lyric notebook?

I never thought he still had it! I put the bottle down, sat on his bed and opened the notebook. I turned several pages until the ones for 'stand up and scream' were over. And I saw bunch of the new ones. He really did write a lot of new stuff. Actually it was for around 20 songs! Crazy. I turned page after page where he spoke about rock n' roll life. And then I found something different. It read;

'Even though I'm on my own I know I'm not alone, cause I know there's someone somewhere, praying that I'll make it home.'

It was nice, it was different. It had 'ch' over it so it was the chorus. I turned the page to find verses. There were two verses. First of them was about Danny's family and his home. It felt weird reading it, like stealing his secrets. And the second one caught my eye.

'It was you that told me I could do this. You put the music in my heart, how you sang with the band in Memphis. It's hard just, to be strong, not knowing if I've done you proud.'

My eyes widened. I turned the page back to find a date. It wasn't there. I put the notebook down and took a huge sip of water. I felt a little bit hazy. Memphis. Was this about this girl we met? They both sang on the side of the stage and I remembered how shiny Danny's eyes were when he had his arms around her.

I wasn't jealous at all, because she turned out to be a bitch, but... I felt sad. He wrote a song about her. And she meant something to him at one point. It made me feel bad, weaker.

I guess I'm the fool who always loved, let the other side hurt me... And I'm just lucky that I'm with him now....

I sighed and it felt like my insides were shaking from sadness. I got back on the couch and numbly stared on tv, not noticing what actually was happening in the show. I heard the door open and close and he sat down next to me with my guitar in his hand. I didn't feel like writing songs now, at all. He tried few riffs and looked at me.

"Babe?" He said.

"Hm?" I mumbled, pretending I was interested in the show. I didn't want to look at him now, I could say something wrong. I'm too drunk to talk about it with him.

"Do you wanna write some amazing shit with me for our next album?" He asked. I smiled, I had to, he's just too lovely. But it was a pale, sad smile and he found out.

"What's that sad look? Are you alright, Benji?" He asked, putting guitar down.

"I'm... Alright. I think I drank too much and a bad mood haunts me." I tried to giggle at least a little.

"You need some sleep?"

"Yeah I think I do." I got up and walked towards the door.

"Ben?" I heard and turned around, looking at Danny finally. He was really worried.

"I thought you were staying here...? With me...?" He asked quietly. Shit. I sighed a little.

"Yeah I'm sorry." I smiled and got back to the middle of the room and slowly laid down on his bed. Even though we were here for one day, it already smelled like him.

"Do you want me to turn the lights off?" He asked.

"Don't worry, I'll just have a nap here, you can play guitar and stuff, don't worry about me." I assured him and closed my eyes. I heard him get up from the couch and few seconds later he covered me with the blanket. He placed a kiss on my forehead, I opened my eyes.

"Do you love me, Danny?" I asked him so quietly even I could barely hear that.

"Of course I do. You're my whole world, stupid." He whispered and kissed me, his lips barely brushing mine. I sighed and closed my eyes again. I heard him grabbing something and sitting back down on the couch. I heard turning pages and writing, then few riffs on guitar and writing again. I pretended I'm asleep all this time. At least I didn't have to look him in the eyes cause it hurt me. After a while he seemed to finish the lyrics and played few riffs over and over again. He started humming. That was such a beautiful sound. I loved everything about him so much... Why did I have to be so nosy and put doubts about him in my head again? He stopped playing and humming, turned the tv and the lights off. He lied down on the bed and his arms found their way to my body. He pulled me close and hugged tightly.

"You're not asleep." He said quietly in a half question. I didn't answer. "What's going on, Benji?" He asked, rubbing my back. I still didn't answer. "Please tell me when you're ready. I love you." He whispered with worry.

"I love you too." I whispered, gripping on this thought. He squeezed me and stayed that close. After few minutes his breathing got slower and deeper, he was asleep. And I lied in the darkness, seeing only his outlines and wondered about my life. And this love.

A/N: So I have such a fucking great support here and when the Brusnop is over, I'm starting to write my own story!