Tragic Magic II World Tour

Chapter Thirty Four

I thought seeing him in that casket was the hardest part. Oh no, no. Watching him be lowered into the cold ground, that was the hardest part.

The cemetery was green and beautiful. The trees and grass made the feeling of death less extreme. The small plot of land we purchased was gorgeous, he deserved to be buried in a beautiful place.

"Leo Radke," the same man from the funeral home scribbles on a notepad, "I'll send in an order for his headstone to be created."

Ronnie and I stood in silence as we watched them cover the casket in soil. The heartache I felt was indescribable. I would rather die a million times than watch today's events unfold. I was never able to stop crying ever since I saw his little corpse lying in that casket. He looked just like his father.

"Are we staying here for the day?" I ask Ronnie, watching the men finish with their work.

"We'll fly back tomorrow morning," he explains, keeping his eyes on the fresh patch of soil six feet above our child.

"Are we going back to the house?" I didn't want to go back home. I didn't want things to go back to normal. I didn't want to fall in love with Ronnie again.

"I mean, it is our house," he adds.

We stood there for what felt like years. Ronnie eventually had to pull the both of us away from the grave once it became dark outside. I couldn't believe everything that has happened today. Ronnie and I made it back to our house shortly after leaving the cemetery. It was now almost nine o'clock and I was exhausted, I could tell he was as well.

The house felt emptier than my broken heart. It was exactly as we left it, but so much had changed since we last entered the front door.

"Well," I set my suitcase down in front of the stairs as we enter the house.

"You finally got to meet Leo," Ronnie joins me at the bottom of the stairs.

"He looks just like you," I feel a rush of pain shoot straight to my heart.

"He was definitely our little boy," he adds.

"I can't believe we let this happen," I begin to cry again after an hour of stillness.

"Stop saying that," he immediately rushes to wipe away my tears.

"I broke this family," I continued to cry.

"No, you didn't," he tries to calm me down, which isn't very effective. "We're home, everything is alright."

"I don't want to fall in love with you again, I can't do it this time."

"What do you mean?" He gives me a blank look.

"All the fans," I take a deep breath and try to control myself. "They want you and I to be together, you want you and I to be together, the world wants you and I to be together. People keep saying, 'man I wish Ronnie and Juliet would just make up,' but that's not how it works, that's not how I want it to work. I want to be happy."

"You want to be with Andy, everyone else wants you to be with me," Ronnie restates.

"Exactly. 'I hope they make up again,' that's all I ever hear. We can't do it again, Ronnie."

"I know."

"I love you, but I can't be with you," I head up the stairs with my luggage and collapse onto the bed in the master bedroom. I missed my king size bed the most.

"You know, Juliet," Ronnie follows me into the room, "I think I'd like to move on now."

"What do you mean?" I sit up on the bed to face him.