Tragic Magic II World Tour

Chapter Thirty Seven

It's crazy how things can change in a matter of months, in a matter of weeks, even in a matter of days.

I haven't slept this good throughout the entire tour. It felt amazing to be in Ronnie's arms again, but when I woke up, I wasn't even close to him. During the night I somehow ended up on a couch in the lounge area of the bus with nobody around me.

I hesitated before getting up to find Ronnie. I searched his bunk, the lounge, the front of the bus, and even the bathroom. He was nowhere to be found as well as the others.

The bus had stopped at our next venue. We were finally at the last few shows of the tour, bringing us to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I assumed the bands were already in the venue doing checks, so I freshened up a bit and headed out to find everyone.

I felt stupid. I felt so freaking stupid for everything that's happened during this tour. Why would I leave Ronnie? Why did I think that was okay? What was wrong with me to think Andy was better than Ronnie? These thoughts made me sick. I wanted to turn around, call a taxi, get on a plane, and fly home. Reality hit me, once again, like a bus.

I entered the venue through the front, hoping I could sneak into the empty audience and watch without being interrupted by anyone. As soon as I let the door close behind me, I came face to face with Andy.

"What's going on with you?" He immediately asks.

"Nothing," I looked past him towards the stage. Ronnie was setting up his microphone with Christian. My heart beat was rapid, I had to talk to him. I had to do something.

"Really?" He steps in front of me to block my view.

"Yeah, really," I try to look past him. I just wanted to get to Ronnie.

"Was it because I was talking to my ex last night?" He asks, almost rubbing it in my face.

It's because I want to be with Ronnie. I wanted to say that so bad but I knew I couldn't. "No," I pushed past him towards the venue stage.

"Then what is it?" He follows behind me.

"I need to just talk to you later, Andy," I continue to walk my own way.

"Is it because you're still in love with Ronnie?" He asks, leaving me frozen in my steps. "Or let me rephrase that. Did you realize last night you're still in love with Ronnie?"

"What?" I turn to face him.

"The way you look at him," Andy catches up to me and brings me close in to him. "You used to look at me like that. That trip back home, something changed in you. You don't look at me like that anymore. You look at him like that."

"I don't know-"

"Yeah, you do," he interrupts me, tightening a grip around my arm. "So I'm gonna suggest we go back to the bus and make everything okay."

"I don't want to make everything okay though," I speak up.

"You what?" He gives me a look of hate. I've never seen this side of Andy. He was becoming controlling and aggressive towards me.

"I don't want to be with you," I say under my breath.

"Who do you want to be with then?" He starts to raise his voice, gaining Ronnie's full attention on the situation.

"Not you," I say, pulling away from him.

"Wrong answer," he steps towards me.

"Juliet," Ronnie interrupts, "can you come here?" Andy's eyes lit up in a fury and he stormed out of the venue.

I climbed up onto the stage and met up with Ronnie. I didn't know what he wanted, but I was just happy to be close to him. "What did you need?" I ask.

"For you to get away from him," he says, wrapping up his equipment and packing it into cases. "I don't see why you let him talk to you like that."

"I don't want to be with him anymore," I admit.

"Then break up. You're really good at leaving when you don't want to be with that person anymore."

"I'm sorry," I say, finally admitting to Ronnie my mistakes.

"For what?" He asks blankly.

"For doing this to us," I take a step closer to him.

"Don't worry," he says, picking up his equipment and heading offstage, "it won't happen again."

I felt a little strange hearing those words. I knew I messed up big this time, but I didn't know how I could fix it. I had to talk to him, I had to figure this out. I climbed onto the stage and followed him to the dressing rooms.

"Wait," I catch the door to the dressing room.

"I don't want to hear it, Juliet," he sets his things down on a vanity and searches through one of the bags.

"What am I going to say then?" He knows why I chased him back here.

"'I love you,' 'I never meant for this to happen,' I was stupid,' yeah yeah I've heard it all before," he says.

"We're still married," I explain.

"Yeah, but that's an easy fix."

"Why are you doing this?" I slowly approach the vanity.

"Because Juliet," he turns to face me, "it's not fair to me. It's not fair for me to have to just waste my life waiting for you. Why should I wait for you to get over your latest rockstar craze?"

"I didn't know-"

"Yeah ya did," he leans up against the mirror, "you fall in love with these rockstars like they're going to save you. We are not all the same, Juliet. We have more than just a pretty face and musical skills. You don't seem to understand it. I've suffered and hurt because of you and your stupid drama for too long, Juliet."

"But I do understand," I plead, "I realized what I did wrong. I never wanted to be with Andy, I was just going through an emotional crisis."

"Yeah? Why's that?" He rolls his eyes.

"Because I felt like you didn't care about me. Once we got married, you just gave up. I became more of a friend to you than anything else."

"So you thought you'd see something better in a little punk?"

"I didn't wanted that," I admit to myself, "I never wanted that. I just wanted you to need me and I thought maybe you'd need me if I was with someone else."

"I guess the joke is on you then, Juliet," he begins to walk past me and stops to look into my eyes, "I don't need you anymore."