32. His Feelings

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"Itni mohabbat karta hu ke
Lafz bhi na keh paaye,
Tum mile mujhe yun lage,
Jaise koi dua mil jaye"
_____

32. His Feelings

Aarav's Pov

AS SHREYA SLEPT with her head on my lap, I caressed her hair thinking about everything she had just told me. No doubt, she had faced a lot more than anyone would have but it wasn't her fault. She loved him unconditionally but he? He just used her and kept using her.

Who abuses the person you love? Who hurts the person you love? All she craved was for love, a beautiful feeling and in return all she got was something she didn't deserve. She was such an amazing woman. A woman any man would love to have by his side.

Her eyes twinkled everytime she talked about something she loved, she would scrunch her cute nose when she was pissed, her eyebrows furrowed when she was confused making her look cute, her cheeks would flush when I complimented her.

These things were common in all girls but when she did those things, I couldn't help but find her cute. She was beautiful in her own ways. There were too many gorgeous girls waiting to have my attention but this girl had enthralled me. She had bewitched my soul.

There was something about her that pulled me towards her and like a moth to a flame I kept going towards her. She was so enigmatic always holding the mysterious charm that I couldn't help but fall for her. The things she would say always would made me wonder what was going on in her mind and heart. And now that I know, it feels nice that she confided in me. Trusted me enough to tell her past.

I pressed my lips on her forehead and gently laid her head on the pillow before making my way towards the study table. Sitting on the chair, I opened the drawer and took out my black diary. The diary which had become my companion in the past ten months when Shreya was in coma.

I knew drinking or smoking would have been useless so I had decided to write. Write, what I felt. I opened the book and read the few pages I had written about my daily routine. How I found it hard waking up and sleeping without her, how everyone had changed in the family, how Saloni had betrayed us, how much I hated her family and the list goes on.

My hand stopped as I saw the poem which I had written back then.

I close my eyes,
And still see you there,
An angel in disguise,
With invisible wings.

My heart flutters of a never ending desire,
A desire to meet you,
A desire to see you smile,
A desire to crown you as a princess.

From deep down in my soul,
To the end of every strands of hair,
I am grateful to the moment that made us meet,
I close my eyes,
And I still see you.

The thought of you near me,
Gets me in best of my spirits,
My hands sway through the air,
To reach for you,
To hold your hand.

There is nothing there but dust and air,
I hold my breath and loosen my grip,
And I realise its just a dream and you aren't here!

My eyes and my mind seems to trick me,
Even in your absence I see you,
The memory that I have of you,
Creates your picture in my dreams,
Even though I hate to wake,
And find you nowhere near,
I live on the faith that you will be back soon.

A tear escaped from my eyes unknowingly as I remember the pain I went through. The pain of losing her. Do I really want her to get pregnant? No. But she wanted this. She wanted a baby.

My heart clenched as I remembered Aditya's words. You will have to choose her or the baby. It would always be her. I wouldn't ever choose the baby. I would adopt one later but if Shreya is gone, I would be gone too.

Never in my life had I thought that I would love someone so much and yet I did. I loved her hopelessly and irretrievably.

Her smiles and laughter made my heart flutter, when she texted me during lunch to check on me it made my day expotenially better. Her smiles, blushes, laughters captured my heart each time. She was the first thought that invaded me each morning and the last one before I fell asleep. But then again she never ever left my mind.

She was the only face, I would never get tired of. I would do anything and everything to see her smile or make her feel the slightest hint of happiness. The way she looked at me each time, made me feel like the happiest man in the world. The way she smiles, the way she makes me feel makes me forget all the problems because she is always by my side. Forever.

God, I love her so much that I want to offer the entire world to her. I want to give her so much that she forgets her past and feels nothing but happiness.

Shreya Aarav Shah, I promise to give you everything you deserve. Its a promise I intend to keep.

_____________

Kindly note the poem isn't written by me. I had found it on Instagram.

How was the chapter? Excuse me for any grammatical errors. Vote and comment! Keep loving #Aarya!

Love ya,
Hugs and Kisses,
See you soon,
-R.

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