Chapter 26: Sleep With Me

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JUSTIN'S POV:

Ely and I walk upstairs hand in hand. She still seems off, but a little better than before. "So, what are you in the mood to watch on Netflix?" I ask as we near my room. "We could watch a movie, a new show, binge an old show -" I start as we enter my room before I'm cut off with Ely's lips crashing into mine. Didn't expect that, but I'm not complaining. She pushes me towards my bed, so I sit on the edge. She sits in my lap with her legs wrapped around my waist. She pulls off her shirt before leaving open mouthed kisses on my neck. Her movements are frantic and desperate. Between kisses, she says something word by word. It takes me a moment to string together her words to make a complete thought.

"Baby... let's... have... sex..." I push her off of me gently examining her face. It's dutiful and determined, as if she's set to complete a mission.

"El... are you okay?" I worry, raising my eyebrows.

"Yeah, I just want you... so bad," she breathes, diving back in to kiss me deeply. She rolls her hips in to meet my crotch, moaning artificially. I grab her shoulders, stopping her.

"Ely, I know what you look like when you're horny... and this isn't it. Talk to me, baby," I plead. Her eyes well with tears, but she blinks them back.

"It's just..." she chokes outs, "I wanna be the kinda girl you like, the kinda girl you want. Any guy that's ever shown interest in me slept with her, wanted her. And apparently, I became the kinda girl you like: confident, fun, sexual, cool... but I don't remember how to be her. I'm trying, Justin. I'm trying so hard but I freaking can't!" She breaks down, tears streaming. I pull her into me, laying her head on my chest.

"No, Ely, shhhh. Shhhh. You are the girl I want. I told you this before the accident, but clearly you can't remember. I only ever acted the way I did in high school - sleeping with so many girls meaninglessly - because I missed you. You were dating Tyler and I never saw you anymore. I felt like part of me was missing and I was too dumb to figure out it was you. I tried to fill the hole with sex, but it clearly never worked. The only thing that ever filled that missing piece was you. I'm so grateful to have you, I don't know what I'd do without you. And you are the same you that you were before the accident. Trust me, I know you better than anyone. The only difference between high school and college is that you're surrounded by better people now. The problem was never you. Don't beat yourself up and don't try to be someone you're not. You're already perfect, as is," I smoothe, rubbing the small of her back. She rests her head on my shoulder, weeping. I lay back on my bed; she curls into me, crying herself to sleep. Once she's peacefully sleeping, I reach over to the drawer of my nightstand, pulling out a t-shirt. It's kinda small and I'd been meaning to donate it, but it'll work for now. I can't bring myself to get up and risk waking her. I pull the shirt over her head. It fits her perfectly. I relax, admiring her beautiful features for ages. The sound of my door easing open startles me. It's my mom. She tiptoes in, looking on me scoldingly.

"I know, I know," I whisper. "But she fell asleep and I couldn't bother to wake her. Nothing happened, I swear."

"I know, Justin. I'm going to allow it, but only because of her head and I can't bring myself to wake her," she whispers back. Huh, like mother like son. "And because you've behaved yourself so well so far," she adds, smilingly. What? She's actually crediting me? This can't be real. I smirk to myself. "Don't get too happy. I still expect you to keep it kosher, and keep this door open." I roll my eyes at this.

"Whatever," I mutter.

"Excuse me?"

"Whatever you wish, mother," I reply in a more polite, albeit forced tone.

"That's what I thought. We're having spaghetti for dinner, I'm sure Ely will be happy to hear that."

"Perfect. She's had a rough day," I say, smoothing out her curls. Mom pouts at this.

"Poor thing. I'll bring it up once it's done. You two can eat in here, for tonight," Mom allows. Wow. She never lets me eat in my room.

"Thanks, Mom," I whisper. She smiles in response, closing the door as she leaves. I smile to myself.

"El, I love you," I whisper.

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