Chapter 55: Reconnect With Me

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ELYSANDRA'S POV:

"Cmon, El. We've gotta go," Atifa interrupts, snapping me out of the world where only Justin and I exist. I grab his hand, removing it from my hip.

"I'm actually sleeping over at Ti's tonight. I'm sorry," I break, watching the sadness spread across Justin's face. I take in his features. He isn't clean shaven as I remember him, but stubbly and ragged. His hair has grown out significantly, hanging messily in his red, bloodshot eyes. He smells of what I now know is marijuana. Guilt settles in the pit of my stomach as I walk towards Atifa. Justin grabs my hand desperately. He looks to Atifa.

"Can we please just talk for a moment? I swear, it'll be quick," Justin pleads. She purses her lips shaking her head no.

"Ti, can I meet you out in the car?" I ask, curious to know what Justin needs to say. She looks at me disapprovingly, but leaves all the same. I turn back to Justin expectantly.

"I, uh... I wanted to decorate the house for Christmas, but you know how badly I suck at that kinda thing... I wanted to know if you'd like to help me? I mean, if you don't, I totally get it, I -"

"No, I'd love to! I mean, I do love Christmas and all... When did you want me to come by?" I ask, eager to get into the Christmas spirit.

"Oh, anytime! Whenever you're free! Well, as soon as possible, preferably, but whenever. I'm... flexible," he rambles. I giggle, amused.

"Can I come over tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yeah, please. I'd... I can't wait," he answers eagerly.

"Okay, great," I agree. He leans in to hug me goodbye. I hug back.

"I love you," he whispers, before pulling away realizing he'd said that aloud. He struggles to figure out what to say, but I simply cut off his thoughts.

"Take care of yourself, Justin." I exit, briskly walking past Za sleeping on the couch to get outside to Ti's car. It's quiet for the entire ride to her house as she waits for me to speak. I don't because I know what she's going to say. Once we're in her room, she finally breaks the silence.

"What did he say?"

"He, uh... invited me over to decorate for Christmas tomorrow," I reveal blushingly.

"And you told him you can't because we have practice, right?" She asks, changing into her silk pajamas.

"That's in the morning," I correct, sliding into bed with her.

"Ely, no. You know what he's trying to do, and you're letting him!"

"I just feel so much better when I'm with him, even if he's not the same," I gush, laying back on my pillow.

"He's not the same. He's smoking pot all the time, he's being a jerk, and he's just... he's not good for you," Atifa advises.

"I know... I just want my old Justin back," I mope, closing my eyes to sleep.

"Well, giving him what he wants when he's like this definitely won't bring back the old Justin. If anything, it'll tell him he can act like this and still have you. Is that what you want?" Atifa asks.

"No," I answer sadly. And with that, I allow myself to drift off to sleep, dreaming of easier times.

When I wake up, Ti and I go to cheer practice, which wears me out. It's been so hard trying to catch up. I leave cheer practice to go to my dorm and shower, to which Ti makes her disapproval known to all. I slide on a sweater dress and boots, fluff out my curls so that they frame my face perfectly, and apply a decent amount of makeup. Something about Justin seeing me the other day in sweatpants and messy ponytail made me feel as though I needed to step it up. I grab my box of decorations from my closet, and walk the two blocks to Justin's house. I knock on the door once, before it's opened by the most familiar face. It's Justin, but he doesn't look the way he did yesterday. His eyes, instead of being cloudy and bloodshot, are clear and bright. His face is clean shaven and his hair, albeit still long, is brushed back in the way that still makes my knees weak. He's in a soft, dark green sweater and dark wash jeans. He smells warm, like cinnamon.

"Hi," he breathes out, smilingly. "You look... wow," he manages, leaning on the doorframe.

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