Phan Oneshots

I Love You

This is based off of a post made by heart-ablaze and posted on instagram by siriusly.jily and it is about James and Lily Potter but I thought it would be good for Phan. So I am changing a bit of it because this isn't the Harry Potter Universe so like not all of the things would work but it is mainly based off of the real thing.

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"I love you, Dan."

The silence was sufficating. It was heavy in his ears it echoed menacingly off the walls and floor. He wanted to run, escape the silence as it attempted to swallow him whole. There was nothing he could do, he was absolutely helpless. He couldn't imagine what Phil must be going through. Phil continued to stare at him, the hands gently holding his shoulders weaken as the silence drags on. Though it was only seconds, it didn't feel like that. It felt like minutes, really long minutes. Dan watched him swallow thickly as the hopeful expression was quickly falling from his face. He watched as the awful thoughts invaded his mind, ate him whole and began to destroy him. He watched as they began to break his heart and wreck his soul. Dan stared helplessly. He tried to speak but he couldn't get his mouth to move. He tried and failed again and again.

There was one last hopeful glint in Phil's eyes as he spoke, "Dan? Dan, did you hear what I said?"

He blinked and with all the strength he could muster, Dan nodded. It was a small nod, so tiny he wasn't sure if he caught it. But he did. There was no way he could of missed it. To Phil it wasn't a small nod. To him it was as if Dan had pushed him to the ground and pulled out his heart through his mouth.

To Phil it wasn't just a nod; It is what broke Phil Lester.

His arms dropped to his side and exhaled sharply. He tore his eyes away from his and ran his fingers through his hair before covering his mouth. He felt ill - really, really ill. He turned towards the window; there was a lump in his throat and all the color haid drained from his face as he nodded.

"Right." He croaked out, his hand running through his hair again, "Right, no worries then."

"Phil-" Dan managed, his voice sounding nothing like his own. It wavered and cracked. It was small and scared. He was scared.

Phil held up a hand slightly to halt him from continuing. He struggled to find the words, "Don't worry about it. You don't have to explain."

He put more distance between them and Dan had never felt so alone. He wanted to reach out and touch him, but knew that Phil didn't want him to, and that hurt more than anything.

"I mean why would you?" He said quietly to himself, with a sad chuckle. "You're Dan Howell. You are perfect and witty and clever - why would you love an idiot like me?"

"I'm not perfect." He whispered desperately, as tears fell silently from the corner of his eyes.

Phil smiled sadly as he stared out the window, watching as the sun set, painting the city with beautiful colors, "To me, you are."

"I'm not." Dan argued. He didn't bother wiping the tears away as he took a step closer to Phil. "I'm a coward, Phil. I'm foolish and and selfish and horrible.
If I was perfect I - I woldn't be afraid to-" He choked out, wishing he hadn't taken that towards him as he turned around to face him.

"Wouldn't be afraid to what?"

Dan sighed, fresh tears falling down his cheeks as he lifted his head to meet Phil's gaze. The look in his eyes broke his heart. It was loving and kind, despite the fact that Dan had just responded in the worst way possible to being told the he loved him. He expected him to be cold and resentful, in fact it would of been easier if they were, but when he looked at him, Dan felt warm and at home. That itself is what terrifies Dan about Phil Lester.

"Do you know how terrifying the thought of loving you is, Phil?" He said as he reached and and grasped a handful of his jumper and stepped closer to him. "I know that once I admit it- once I admit that- that I.. love you; there is no going back. I'm going to feel this way forever. I am going to love you forever, and when you wake up one morning and don't love me anymore, I'll be stuck feeling like I do npw. I'll be stuck here loving you like I do now."

It was silent again, but it was something entirely different. Instead of suffocating and cold, it was warm and welcoming. He had finally said what needed to be said, what he needed Phil to hear. Phil's face softened and as he placed his hands on Dan's cheeks and wiped away the tears on either side of his cheeks with his thumbs.

"You are right, Dan. You are foolish."

Dan held on tighter, "I know."

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I am not sure what site that that originated from, maybe tumblr but all I know is I have MAJOR Jilly feels and Phan feels.
If you aren't a Harry Potter fan than you probably wouldn't want to find it anyway but if you are (Cheers to the Ravenclaws) than it is siriusly.jily on instagram and I mean it is a fair bit ways down but the other stuff on there is AMAZING.

Love Harry Potter Universe. I reread the series every year since the sixth grade. Don't even get me started on how they made Harry an emotionless, unsassy twit. Dont even talk about movie Ginny. Still salty about peeves.

okay I'm done.