Phan Oneshots

Trust In You

I would just like the think the kind person who pointed out that I technically lied at the end of 'Queer Thoughts' by saying I am a virgin and never had a first kiss because I was raped and molested. Thank you soooo much for that. But while is true and however thoughtful it was for you to remind of, as if I had forgotten, I do not count that. I am a virgin. I was in the second grade. When he raped me. Second grade. I don't fucking care about technicality or whatever you said. It does not count. I don't count it. I didn't even know what sex was, I didn't even know what was happening and have blocked a lot of it out. So no. I did not lie. Screw your technicality shit.
So this is Dan being a survivor of rape and him and Phil are together kind of shit.
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Dan's heart races in his chest, pounding against its cage of ribs painfully. His chest is heaving almost as fast as his heart and he is starting to feel dizzy.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," He closes his eyes and nods slightly, the hair of his skin standing on end and skin rising as a hand carresses his cheek and another rubs his arm reasurringly. "It's alright. I got you." Dan holds his breath in an attempt to calm himself down.
"Just breathe for me, In, that's it, out, there you go, again, same as before." When the blood stopped pumping violently inside his ears he fluttered his eyes open.

"Are you sure about this? You know you don't have to do this, right?"

"I know...I know." He couldn't talk any louder than a whisper, afraid his voice would give out. "I want to. I want to do this."

Phil put both his hands on Dan's cheeks and made sure he was looking at him, "At any point you are uncomfortable or remember or want to stop, you tell me. Do you understand? You tell me immediately! Yes?"

"Yes, I understand."

Phil examined his eyes a bit more before nodding a bit and taking a breath. "This is about you. You are in control, complete control."

"O-kay." His voice cracked but he disregarded it. "Okay. Okay." He doesn't know what to do. Doesn't know what he wants.

"It's alright. I'm right here."

"Kiss me."

Phil stands close to him and kisses him gently, one hand on his cheek and the other going to intertwine with Dan's hand. Dan kissed back with trust and love, opening his mouth inviting Phil in.
Phil pulls back and looks deeply into his eyes, asking if that is what he wants. Phil didn't ask with words so Dan didn't answer with words, his free hand gripped the fabric on Phil's chest and nodded. He kissed him, before Phil could ask again, and licked Phil's lips before opening his mouth a bit more, agian inviting Phil to deepen the kiss. His grip on Phil's hand slackened as his tongue licked over his, finally excepting his invitation. Phil's thumb drawing circles over Dan's knuckles and adjusting the postion of his face so he could deepen the kiss more.

Dan pulled away some time later during their break for air, "Can you...take off your shirt?"

Phil smiled at him wrapping his arms around his waist and gently kissed his forehead before stepping back and doing as requested.
He looked at Dan expectantly but he wasn't sure what to do now. Phil softly grasped his hands and walked slowly to the bed. He sat down on the edge kissed the knuckles of both of his hands. Dan straddles his lap and wraps his arms around Phil's neck, nerves swimming in his stomach.
Phil reaches up and brushes his fingers through the hair on his forhead before holding his cheek and stroking it with his thumb.
Their foreheads resting against each other and their breathes mixing together while Dan runs his fingers through the hair on Phil's neck.

"I love you." Phil whispers, bumping their noses together. Dan blushes and pecks his lips, "I love you." he says back. He never liked saying 'too', it just sounded like an automatic response and he doesn't want to downgrade the importance of his love for Phil.
Phil scooted back a bit and took to being against to head board instead. He rubbed his hand up and down Dan's back gently and the other still holding his cheek. Dan kissed him again, pushing on his shoulder lightly. Phil got the message and scoot up a bit before laying down while continuing to kiss Dan.