Here I Stand (BWWM) (AMBW) [COMPLETED]

Chapter thirty five: No unicorns in Motherland

Isa's pov

My midwife's office was painted in light pink, for some reason the atmosphere they had tried to create with all those babies and mother pictured in many photos didn't help me at all, why not just picture what's gonna really happen? I asked myself, everything appeared to be a deception of the reality, and I found that to haunt me even more, these happy faces, serenity, and joy were all expectations.

"Ms. Thompson" the receptionist called, "I'm here" I stood up took Adaline and went inside the office. "Good morning" I greeted her, "Good morning, you must be Isa Thompson, and who might you be?" She seemed to be in her thirties, "She's Adaline, my daughter, say hi" I introduced Addy to my midwife, and I must say I really appreciated the fact that she didn't make any kind of speculation or doubting out loud I found it very rude, but people often felt like it's their right to ask a question about our relationship.

"You are very pretty, you know?" "Thanks" said Adaline fidgeting with my hair. We then sat and Doc. Colt, Piper Colt (my midwife), explained to me how we would manage things from there.

"So I already have your blood test and urine test's results so we can skip to the part, of prescription and stuff..." I nodded "Are they any symptoms you experienced?" "I feel dizzy and tired more often than usual, the morning sickness has just started".

"Ok, that's good, you'll also experience late night cravings, cramps, breast, soreness and weight gain obviously" I looked at her trying to keep a smile " Ok, fantastic" I joked already anxious. Piper smiled, " I know for experience, it sucks, but it's worthy".

After that she had me lying on the stretcher to perform an ultrasound, I rolled up my oversized jumper, she squeezed some gel in my lover abdomen then spread it with the wand. There was a hole in which she found a "mole", this "mole" had an heartbeat.

"The heart beat is very strong, that's good, also judging from the ultrasound you're eight weeks ", once she was done analysing the foetus, I cleaned up the gel, and adjusted my clothes. That was it, there was no crying, holding hands, feeling of bond between me and the creature.

I still had to decide what I was gonna do, what would my next step be, if there was something I despised, more than anything was the idea of my children having to be content with a broken family, for that reason I had made the choice of adopting, I wasn't going to put through trauma of separation and confusion nobody. Then along came Aaron, that felt the need to be a fatherly figure for Adaline, with the arrogant presumption, that she needed one or was not satisfied without it, which enraged me, I was not out looking for a man tone my daughter's father, for obvious reasons also, as well as I did not want to scar her as I had been.

The pregnancy, itself and how it had come to be was for me a slap in the face, and my efforts of my lifetime thrown in a bin.

Aaron's pov

I had been waiting next to Isa's door for nearly one hour, as soon as I saw her I stood up "Isa" I mumbled reluctant, she must've been startled because she jumped scooting Adaline behind her "Geez, Aaron, you scared the shoot out of me. Didn't I tell you to stay away from us".

"How can I stay away from you when I love you? " As that corny sentence came out of my mouth I instantly regret it. "Cut the crap" she interrupted me covering Addy's ears.

I then lost my patience, "Come on Isa what's wrong?" I insisted, Isa looked at me her expression suddenly changing, "Nothing is wrong ok? I just, don't wanna play the dating game anymore, we will end up getting hurt... And I don't want that"

"Are you breaking up with me?" I probably sounded desperate, "I gu-", "Mamma, I am sleepy" Addy interrupted us. "Oh, mommy's is sorry I had you waiting, let's go...bye" she then went in the flat and shut the door.

Isa's pov

I laid on my bed with my baby next to me, she wiggled till she had found the right spot, " Are you comfy now?" I asked smiling at her small figure, "si" (yes) she replied, grabbing my necklace.

"Addy do you want a daddy?" "baba", and she makes funny noises, and tuddles with me" I moved her hair in her face and stared at her "What have I done to deserve a smart daughter like you?" I wondered out loud.

Once Adaline was sleeping I started to think: I had a family meeting in three weeks, I was beyond terrified to show up, I knew my family members would have noticed, my breast grew bigger by the day, which being an almost flat chested, it came to be obvious such change, I couldn't not stand the smell of ordinary everyday things and felt somehow less hungry each time that I ended up puking.

"I am home" Rajiv announced coming towards my bedroom, he showed a bag of Taco's, which made me relax for a bit, "Addy are you sleeping? I brought tacos" he notified her whispering in her ear, Adaline smiled, her eyes still closed, and licked her lips, "I think she's sleeping" I provoked her. Adaline instantly sat up "No, I eat" she protested.

Both me and Rajiv laughed hard despite her not being my biological daughter, her appetite was a lot similar to mine, she was a foodie "Let's go wash our hands then" I lifted her and brought to the bathroom, while Rajiv got changed.

Rajiv's pov

When I opened Isa's drawer to check if one of my socks had been misplaced, something caught my attention.

Isa's ultrasound's picture, "What are you doing?" Isa's voice was trembling, "I... Nothing I was just looking for my socks and found this. Do... are you going to... Keep it?" I asked carefully, Isa's gaze shifted from my hands to my face "I don't know..." she replied.

I had another question for her but didn't dare to ask, "Can you not tell Aaron? It's just the first trimester..." "Yes, of course. Listen you should really talk to him though -" "He forgot to put a condom on, that's how, that's why I'm in this situation" "Oh... Well that could have happened to anyone. It was a mistake, he was aware though that you kinda were not planning to have sex anytime soon nor were on your birth control" "I wasn't ready, I am not ready"

In that moment she must have felt like her mother's story was repeating itself. "Tomorrow is Friday, why don't we go to cinema and then to my aunt's restaurant?" I proposed, Isa nodded eagerly put on a smile and went to eat with Adaline.

Isa's pov

I felt weird and uncomfortable in my own skin, an alien had invaded my body affecting my emotions and the way I ate, one could say it was not a big deal, but then came the strong cravings for random foods, the unbearable morning sickness, the fatigue who seemed to want to befriend you since the beginning of the pregnancy, the hair loss which seemed to have had spared me and the constant bloating and constipation.

I never doubted wanting children, but the timing was way off, and would have liked to be married before, as it is a very important period, and one should be cuddled and taken care of. Rajiv was indeed very helpful, but him not being the baby's father put an halt to what was appropriate and allowed for him to do.

A simple slip had made my plans go bye. It was even more daunting not to feel the "magical bonding" everyone felt when looking at the invader growing in their womb. Was I supposed to lie and say I was feeling ecstatic about having to grow a human inside of me?

I wanted to provide the best life I could for Adaline, she was my priority and bringing another human in the world, at that moment felt wrong.