Here I Stand (BWWM) (AMBW) [COMPLETED]

Chapter fifty-six: The cruellest things I have suffered by my family's hands

Rajiv's pov

I was 19 when I came out to my religious parents, needless to say it was the second hardest thing to do in my life, after hiding who I really was.

I was anxious all the time, fearing the people around me would catch up with the fact I had never had a lover and simply was socially awkward and distressed being around my relatives who were set on introducing me to someone to marry.

I wanted to be recognized for who I really was, but the thought of people looking at me in a different light, or distancing themselves from me, made me almost repulse myself, question my identity and ask myself whether there was something wrong with me.

My parents had high expectations for me, from the day I was born, the school I would attend, the friends I would have, the people I would meet, the woman I would marry, not a single aspect had been left out, and before then I had yielded to every single expectations of my life, but as I did so, I slowly faded.

Once I talked to them about my sexual orientation, my mother tried to convince me to go to a hospital, to get treated, my father threatened to disown me. In the following period I tried walking with my head high around my parents and siblings but they were way too harsh for me to handle, my younger brothers made fun of me by treating me like a woman, my own sister pretended I did not exist, in every single glance that I would exchange with my family there were feelings whose weight I declined to carry around with me: disappointment, disgust, repulsion.

That's when I decided to leave, they were glad I had left, never looked for me, nor cared if I was alive or dead, as the thought of me being bisexual and dead was relief instead of alive and publicly and proud bisexual.

My aunt was the only one who accepted me as I am, being left without husband and children at young age, she had, with time, grown accustomed to loneliness as a dear friend, though it usually ate and changed people, in her case she had remained soft and gentle as the love of her husband for her.

As I pulled over to Aaron, the air on my skin stood up, as I had instantly gotten more tense, even my body went stiff as a protest to what I was about to do... "Do you want me to come with you?" I proposed worried, I instantly felt the urge not to leave her side.

"I have to do this right? I mean it's mandatory at this point to trace some lines... But I don't want to hurt anyone.... Else" she quivered tempted to abort the mission.

"Hey! If there's need to we shall spill all the blood necessary, we are the good guys, remember" I joked making her laugh.

Isa's pov

What Rajiv said made me smile despite my nervousness, he couldn't fight, he wasn't a pacifist, but somehow he sometimes needed to be, as he had an awful coordination but when the time came, he was able to bluff quite well, let it be known though that was the limit.

I felt the need to hide, to avoid the situation, as I feared the meeting would open wounds still trying to heal.

As I entered Barbara, (Aaron's mom) offered me some tea, which I refused, I couldn't either drink or eat knowing my purpose being there, so we sat.

"The purpose of this meeting today is to clarify further the visitation terms of my son, Ezra, and every- " "Our son, so what you're trying to say is that I have to let that clown of your friend raise my son and let that be? You must be-"

"Watch it, Aaron! This isn't about him, leave him out of this" I warned, as disappointed as I was in his parents seeing as they kept a consenting silence by which once I felt betrayed, I wanted to leave.

"What's there to deny he's obviously fucking you?" "That's not-" "Enough!! To the both of you, Is it true Isa?" Aaron's father spoke.

Suddenly my competence as a mother was put at stake by the same people who had watched their son do nothing right by me. "With all due respect, I owe you nothing", " What's that supposed to mean? We welcomed you, like a daughter" "Is that how would you treat your daughter, standing still as a man deceived her, and got her pregnant to fulfil his selfish needs?" "Oh, please, don't act like a victim, you, too wanted kids" "That's where you're wrong, all I wanted is a safe environment to raise my daughter and he knew that but still went on to do his own thing, and to be frank you are even worse, trying to get rid of your immature son like that".

"But eventually you kept Ezra? How's that consistent with what you just said?" "You cornered me into it, I just told your son as it was his right to know, but you used that to have him married to me, when you knew he was no marriage material, lesser a father material, he gets hard drunk five days out of seven, and till the last moment saw me as a mean to fulfil his sexual needs and as a surrogate. I deserved better"

"What's wrong with wanting to have kids with the person you love?" Barbara asked "You still don't get it, do you? Your son doesn't love me, he never did, he loved the fact that I was so vulnerable and naive that's it, that's why it was so easy for him go on and sleep with other women as we broke up".

"I will not allow you to disrespect me, my son or my family in my house" "But you can walk over people as if your right to do so? I am someone's precious daughter too, is that so meaningless for you?"

My voice started to tremble as tears made their way to my eyes, "Just know that I will no longer tolerate anymore bullshit, and I am talking about showing up at my workplace making a scene, at my home, at his uncle's house and anywhere near him, without my consent"

"We will appeal" Aaron stated menacingly, "Please do so, and I will make sure, to make your life a living hell".

I found specially cruel, how Aaron's parents had ignored and were keeping doing so, their son's actions, ignoring who he might hurt, or the repercussions. This went without saying I was the exact opposite of the African traditional thinking, mostly because I was born in Italy and despite my mother's teachings I had a strong sense of what was wrong. Based on my mother way of thinking despite the abuse, and mistreatment a woman should fulfil her duty as wife till the end even at the children's disadvantage. It sounded stupid the blind dedication I was taught to have for husbands, especially the concept that being a divorcee was way worse than being cheated on, mistreated, and abused. Italy despite acting as more evolved thinking country, hid the very same concepts, the only difference was that was any woman to disobey, or challenge these toxic norms, she would have been killed, and no one would say much about that even, since it was socially accepted and deemed right.