Here I Stand (BWWM) (AMBW) [COMPLETED]

Chapter fifty- two: The stranger I had let in

Isa's pov

Rajiv grabbed my hair as I threw up, "I....it...my chest, it hurts" I sobbed asking for help, never in my life I had felt like that I don't know how to describe it. It started with my chest and then extended through my whole body. My throat burned, my arms had become numb, and my legs had already gave out.

I started to beat my chest but my Rajiv was quick to stop me, "I know, I know" he cried embracing me.

I started to regret everything since meeting Aaron, yes my son's birth too. Adaline was my child first, I had to protect her, I should have been able to protect her first. I felt so stupid to have fallen for the first guy that said to have loved me.

I couldn't stay inside doing nothing so after Adaline temperature came down I took the car and went to our house, I went in switched off the cameras "Look who's back" Aaron's voice got me all riled up, I turned around and punched him making him fall.

Once he was on the ground I climbed on top of him and kept punching him till my anger subsided, I smiled seeing his face bloodstained. For every punch I recalled every moment I felt violated and robbed, of my freedom, of my innocence, my will, my confidence, my kids' safety. Call me monster but know who my creator was, there was no shame in my actions at least in that moment. "Say a fucking single word and you and your family will never see your son ever again" there was no lie in my words.

In the "divorce suit" I had the upper hand which granted me the victory and the sole custody of the kids, thanks to the tape of him slapping me and his alcoholic test results and of course his past offences.

I despised myself for nearly hating my son, for being the only thing tying me to that monster, and for not being able to know he was such a different person from who I wanted him to be.

I went back home as I was parking the car I saw Addy waiting for me outside, I sat down , she came standing in front of me, took my face in her little hands "Don't cry" she cooed wiping away my tears, I then took her hands "Adaline, mommy is extremely sorry for what happened. I want you to know that no matter what people say, you were meant to be my daughter. I prayed for you, I waited for you, ok? Remember this" I hugged her and put her back to sleep.

After a while I sat in the dark in the bedroom, Ezra who had started toddling around, came in reaching for me while whining, Rajiv came to pick him up, which caused him to cry his eyes out, I stopped Rajiv knowing Ezra was hungry. I took off my t-shirt, and laid him in my arms which helped him calm down.

Rajiv, sat next to me so I could lean my head on his shoulder, "I am hurting" I sobbed feeding Ezra, "I am here for you" Rajiv was crying with me. He knew that was the time not to be okay, the time we could cry till we became dehydrated, as he kissed my forehead I felt, after all that maybe I could... Create my new normal again.

Within the next two months everything had been settled, Aaron was put in a restraining order, after trying to coerce my brother's nanny to let him see Ezra while drunk, also I was given sole custody of both kids and the house stayed with me.

Ezra had learned to walk, he was just a happy constantly hungry, bubbly child, which helped Addy get along really well.

Adaline had stopped talking about Aaron since the accident, so being worried I took her to a specialist which told me that Adaline just didn't remember him, it was a coping mechanism to erase one particular person tied to a particularly painful and traumatic event.

After selling the house we moved for safety reasons along with all my siblings.

Work helped keeping my sanity, my kids my happiness, my family and friends' support allowed me to ease down sometimes, go crazy a little bit and just be me.

As I sat down after coming home after an exhausting 12 hours shift, Rajiv sat next to me offering me a big glass of water, I laughed for how well he knew me... I glanced at him, and giggled with him almost spilling the water he had given me. Rajiv patted me on the back "Great job today as well" " You too" I said trying to hold back the tears, "Tell me when it gets too hard, we can always run away for a while" I smiled at him.

We heard Ezra wailing from upstairs so we went to my bedroom, I picked him up and put him in my bed I got changed and came back to him and Rajiv, "Where you waiting for me?" I asked him cleaning up his saliva, "Ma-ma. am mama" he cooed grabbing my braids. "Should I put him to bed?" Rajiv asked, "Get some sleep, you did enough" I said covering him with my blanket. I then put Ezra in the baby carrier and went round and round in the room till he was fast asleep.

I then put him inside his crib and laid down on my bed, where Rajiv was sleeping soundly, I laid there facing the ceiling and suddenly as I tried to close my eyes and sleep the tiredness of my body was swept away by a urge to think those weird and sometimes scary thoughts you get at 3 a.m. when your heart is restless because of something, your body aches for rest and your mind gets trapped in the middle wanting too sleep but too pained to actually let you get some rest.

Everything became uncertain: did I ever know who Aaron really was? did I really fall in love or did I fall in love with the thought of someone loving me? How did it happen? I was recalled to the reality as Rajiv's leg landed on me, "Stop it" he yawned shaking my body with his legs. In that moment even though I didn't know the answers to those question I felt at ease as Rajiv rocked me with his leg.

I guess it happens someone you think you know, can in an instant become a stranger whose actions and thoughts scared us to the core.