Desire ♡ Jungkook/Reader FF ♡ Completed ♡

It won't work

Jungkook's POV

I felt like shit, why did I sleep with her? I didn't want a relationship, I wasn't ready for commitment. I had too much going on in my life, I couldn't be the boyfriend she wanted or deserved for that matter.

I couldn't give her my time and attention, I already had enough to keep me occupied.

I just couldn't seem to stop myself around her, she was so adorable yet beautiful at the same time.

I felt sick though, I wanted to make her feel better but that wasn't the way....I was only getting her hopes up....making things complicated.

I didn't want to keep hurting her, not like Min Yoongi had.

"I can't stay, I'm sorry." I cursed inwardly as my voice wavered, I blamed it on nerves.

I felt her body grow tense, I didn't dare look at her eyes.

"Get out." Her voice cracked, my heart dropped....I didn't want to hurt her.

"I'm sorry Y/N, I just wanted to make you feel better."

"So this was fucking pity?! You screwed me to make me feel better, oh well thanks so much for that Jungkook! I feel so much fucking better now, you're such a gentleman!" I flinched as she shouted, never in all the time we'd known each other had she ever been this angry with me. I lifted my gaze to meet her own as she moved from underneath me and grabbed the blanket, wrapping it around her curves as she got up from the bed.

"Y/N, I didn't mean it like that. It's not pity, I just wanted to....look...." I got out of the bed, searching the floor for my boxers and pulling them on once located.

"Don't say anything Jungkook, you've made it very obvious what I am to you....what I've always been so just go."

"Y/N don't make me out to be the bad guy here! You knew exactly what this was once we started our arrangement, I never once lied to you about my intentions so don't stand there and try and guilt trip me!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Jungkook for hurting your feelings by making such accusations."

"I can tell when you're genuine and when you're using sarcasm Y/N, I've known you long enough so quit it. I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you here...."

Y/N's eyes widened, I could see she was fighting back tears and that killed me....I didn't know what to say or do. I wasn't sure what I was feeling, all I knew is that it wasn't anything good. I felt like shit, I just needed space.

"Look Y/N....." I pulled my pants on next, then grabbed my shirt and slipped it over my shoulders. "I didn't mean to make you feel used, I genuinely care about you as a person but I stand by what I said earlier. I'm not ready for a relationship, I shouldn't have slept with you when you're feeling so vulnerable and especially shouldn't have slept with you after I made it clear a relationship wasn't what I wanted....I don't know why I did it....I just can't control myself around you. I just wanted to comfort you, it wasn't pity so please don't think that."

I slipped my boots on, eyes searching her delicate features....she deserved so much better.

"Jungkook please leave."

"So that's it? I'm trying to say sorry here, trying to fix this so we can at least be friends and you're just going to act like this?" Her head snapped up at my words, eyes filling with anger and sadness....please don't be sad.

"You're just like him, only caring about yourself and not giving a shit about who you use or hurt on the way." I felt my heart tighten at her comparison, I knew exactly who she was talking about. I narrowed my eyes, taking slow steps toward her.

"What did you say?" I noticed her take a step back, clutching tightly to the blanket still wrapped around her curves.

"You heard me...."

"Did you just compare me to Min Yoongi? Seriously?" I scoffed, she kept her head down to avoid my gaze.

"I'm not perfect Y/N, I've made mistakes and yeah....my past with women hasn't exactly been brilliant but I've always been honest with them about what I've wanted. I'm not selfish, I gave up my course at university....I've put what I want on hold to step up and looked after the business with Jin. I've got a father who's sick, I've got a mother who's terrified of losing the one person she counts on the most and I'm hanging on by a thread here. I don't pity you, I think you're a strong beautiful woman who deserves nothing but the best and right now I can't give you the best because news flash Y/N....this isn't all about you!" I hated raising my voice, I hated making her sad but she wasn't the only one hurting here and that wasn't fair....to compare me to him wasn't right.

"Just go Jungkook."

I cocked a brow, I couldn't believe she was still acting this way....after all I just said.

"You know what Y/N...." I stood beside her, anger overwhelming me....that's when I said something I shouldn't have.

"You know what....maybe you're right, you're just the kind of woman a man needs to occupy his bed....not his heart." I instantly felt the guilt overwhelm me as her face crumpled and the tears fell....I was just angry at what she said, she hurt me and so I snapped.

"GET OUT! GET FUCKING OUT JUNGKOOK!"

"Y/N....I'm sorry....I shouldn't have...."

"GET OUT!"

I ducked, the vase of flowers from her bedside table crashing against the wall behind me.

I didn't know what to do, I hadn't felt anything like this before. I simply stared, mouth hanging open as she grabbed whatever she could find and hurled it at me.

"Y/N stop! Calm down!"

"GET OUT!"

I didn't know what to say or do, I had never felt so powerless.

I grabbed my jacket, throwing open the door to her apartment and walking away.....walking away from the broken woman who slammed the door behind me.

I didn't want it to end like this....what the hell just happened and why couldn't I breathe right now? Why did I feel like this?

I stood by my car, the lump in my throat getting more difficult to swallow.

What the hell just happened back there?