Jungkook's Ending ~ Facing Fears

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"Son? I would like to talk if you're not too tired from the flight?"

Jin hadn't done much since returning home, after unpacking his case and taking a shower he really wasn't in the mood for conversation so retired to the study and fixed himself a strong drink.

"I would like that." Jin forced a smile as his father pushed open the door and stepped through, he didn't want to talk and knew exactly what his father was going to say but couldn't really refuse him.

"I've always loved watching the flames dance

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"I've always loved watching the flames dance."  His father hunched over in his chair, leaning closer to the fire, edging his hands towards the flames to warm them from the bitter evening. The light from the flames illuminated his tired, worn face, wrinkles boring deeply into his skin. His expression was of frustration and fatigue, Jin knew he was probably to blame for that. His father had many stories to tell, experience danced on his lips like a curious child. And yet he stayed silent, those listless eyes just watching, not telling, fire adorning his skin.

"So, how are you feeling?" Jin queried with a raised brow.

"I know your mother has been keeping you updated since you've been gone so there's not much else I can really tell you......I'm feeling better but I'm so very tired all the time."   

"Are you coming back to work?" Jin swirled the contents of his drink around, watching the malt and ice dance.

"No, my time at the company is over. It's your time now and Jungkook's......speaking of your brother, have you spoken to him? Does he know you've returned?"

Jin shook his head before lifting the glass to his lips. "No, I'm not ready for him to know yet because I know exactly what his reaction will be."

"Jin, give your brother some credit. He's really done well since coming back from Tokyo, he's a fine man and he's made me so proud. I know the situation between the two of you isn't the best, knowing Jungkook he'll be very protective of Y/N at first and it may take him time to trust you with her but he loves you and misses you."  

The feeling was mutual, Jungkook wasn't just his brother but also his best friend and spending all this time apart had been incredibly difficult for him but the alternative was far worse.

"Do you still love her?" It didn't surprise Jin that his father was so blunt, it was the way he was and nothing would change that.

"I do." Jin didn't say anything more because what was the point? Y/N loved Jungkook, they were getting married and having a child together.

"I was there....a few weeks ago when you were talking with your mother. I couldn't sleep so came down for a cigar, your mother was here in the study speaking with you over Skype and you said Jungkook was the golden child."

"He's got everything........" Jin breathed out, the lump in his throat getting bigger.

"I've always felt second best, worked hard all my life but constantly live in Jungkook's shadow. I finally found someone who liked me for me, finally I got something before Jungkook did. I wanted to make you proud, be the first son to get married and give you grandchildren but I was lying to myself." Jin paused to finish his drink, getting up and pouring himself another before continuing.

"I convinced myself she loved me and that deep down it could work if Jungkook stayed away long enough but I was an idiot....whenever Y/N looked at me she never really looked beyond to see all I could offer her. I know she cares about me, I know she never meant to hurt me but that doesn't change the fact my heart will always be broken."  

"Jin." The moment his father's hand found his own and gave a loving squeeze he blinked back tears. "It broke my heart to hear you say those things to your mother, to know you thought yourself to be less of a man in my eyes was the greatest pain anyone could ever inflict upon me. I wish you could see what I see, a great man with so much passion and intelligence. It pains me to know that you're hurting but don't ever for one second think we don't love you just as much as your brother, you mean everything to me Jin. I'm so proud of you, it doesn't matter to me who gives me my first grandchild or who gets married first. I'll love your first grandchild just as much as I love Jungkook's because he or she will be part of you....my first born."

Jin never expected this level of honesty from his father, it completely took him by surprise

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Jin never expected this level of honesty from his father, it completely took him by surprise.

"I shouldn't cry." Jin felt ashamed, what man cries in front of his father like this.

"Crying doesn't make you less of a man, don't ever be ashamed to express yourself around me."

Jin was surprised yet again when his father embraced him, the tears falling faster as he sobbed.

"I know it hurts, I know you love her but she's made her choice and now you need to face your fears.....the biggest one is letting her go. 

 

 

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