Desire ♡ Jungkook/Reader FF ♡ Completed ♡

I'm Sorry

Y/N's POV

I followed Jin through the house, his long fingers laced with my own as we entered the study.

"The study? I feel like we're about to have a business meeting Jin, what's going on?" I chuckle albeit a nervous one as he sits down on the couch.

"Y/N....first thing you need to know is that I love you. I still remember the day I first met you, I couldn't believe how beautiful you were. The more time we spent together, the more we got to know each other the more my feelings for you started to grow and change. It was a game at first, who could get you first but something changed. I never get jealous and yet when things started happening between you and my brother....well I got jealous. I hated it, I hated that yet again Jungkook was going to get what I wanted."

I gave a nod, gently squeezing his hand to reassure him. "I know Jin, you've told me all this before."

"I left out something very important though, something I knew eventually you would need to hear. I'm not a bad guy Y/N, I just didn't want to see you with him. Jungkook is the golden child, my father adores him..." I can see guilt and pain dance around in his dark eyes. "I've always been in his shadow, I know my parents love both of us but I see the way they look at him with such intense adoration...." He slowly gets to his feet and walks over to the large bay window behind his desk, I watch as he struggles to find the right words.

"I'm always the one to be there when my parents need me, I do everything possible to make them proud and show them what I'm capable of. I know they care about me, I know they love me but I'll never be Jungkook. I'll never be the golden Jeon, I came to accept that but then when you came along.....I didn't want to settle for second best anymore. I wanted you, I wanted my family to see this perfect woman on my arm. I wanted to get married first, I wanted to proudly give my parents their first grandchildren. I wanted to run the office here alone, not with Jungkook there. I wanted....no....I needed to have my chance with you. I told my father to mention Tokyo to Jungkook, truth be told my father already had someone in mind for the Tokyo office job but I got him to reconsider and offer the position to Jungkook instead." He paused, not daring to look at me. I felt my heart race, hands forming fists.

"I wanted him out of the picture so we could have our chance." His eyes never left the view outside as he continued somewhat reluctantly with his confession.

"I was with my father the day Jungkook was leaving for Tokyo, our driver sent me a message....saying that Jungkook was outside your apartment instead of at the airport. I was so fucking angry......" Jin growled, pushing back his dark hair as he continued to avoid my gaze.

"I knew why he was there, he was too scared....too much of a coward to acknowledge his feelings for you and then at the last minute....after hurting you....he decides he wants you. My father was sleeping, he was exhausted from the treatment and earlier my mother had retired upstairs to get some rest herself. I don't know what came over me, I grabbed my father's phone and sent Jungkook a message. I told him how proud I was, I knew after reading that message Jungkook wouldn't want to disappoint our father. I knew he would leave, I knew then that I would get my chance with you. I waited for him to reply and then removed all traces of the conversation, he left and I got you." He finally looked my way, so many conflicting emotions visible in the sad depths of his eyes.

"I'm so sorry Y/N, I know what I did was wrong. I'll never forgive myself, I don't know what came over me but I truly love you. I hope in time you can forgive me, give me a chance to make you happy. I want to marry you, I want children with you and before all of that....I needed you to know the truth."

I opened my mouth to speak, eyes full of tears when suddenly the study door flew open.

"Why?" Jungkook's voice broke, eyes full of pain. "Why did you betray me like this hyung?"

I looked between the two of them, I had no words as the sting of betrayal consumed me. I slowly got to my feet, Jin spotted this and immediately went to approach me.

"No Jin....just give me time to process this. I think you need to talk with your brother....I also need to talk with mine." I needed Joonie, he was always the one who could talk about situations logically, I needed his comfort and advice.

Jungkook stepped aside to allow me access to the door, his fingers gently moving around my wrist before I could disappear from his sight.

"We need to talk, I'll come by your place after speaking with my brother." I finally met his gaze, heart near enough breaking when he smiled at me. "You wanted me?" I asked, still not quite believing it.

"I still do babygirl."

I forced myself not to cry, instead giving a nod before leaving.