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once the treehouse was completely out of view, i stopped to look up at the blue sky.

i fell for the guy who knew me inside and out, the guy who i knew inside and out.

i learned about his flaws on those nights when we hid away from the world together, and learned to love them.

did i have too many? why couldn't he do the same?

i let myself succumb to the peace of the forest and sat with my back against a tree.

i remember how nervous i felt when they became friends. from the start, i'd thought they would be great for each other if they got over the rivalry.

but... i never expected it to actually happen.

i remember how jungkook tried to call me asking for advice about taehyung. he disguised it as a kdrama rant but it was so, so obvious.

IQ of 148— numbers don't lie, bunny.

i even desperately tried to steer him in the wrong direction, only to fail in the end.

he even called me for advice twice, yet they always came back stronger in he end.

then there was that time with the knockout gas.

i'm less than proud of what i've done, but i did that to scare him away from taehyung.

i left a note and used the edge to make a paper cut on him, just to scare him.

i regret it.

on easter, i found out that my plans once again backfired. they lived together since jungkook was scared to go back to his apartment.

yesterday morning when i came to pick them up, i came early on purpose.

i'm a horrible, horrible friend.

i know, every life's a movie. we've got different stars and stories, we've got different nights and mornings.

but why did mine have to have a sad ending? why am i the antagonist?

if there really is a God out there, please, please, please.

give me another chance to be the protagonist.

"namjoon!" jin called.

relief hit me when i heard his familiar voice.

"i'm over here!" i stood and waved.

"ah, did you find them?" he asked.

jin and i had been assigned with the task of finding out where they went since jimin, yoongi, and hoseok all had some things to do at work.

"yeah, they're too busy being newlyweds right now so it's best to leave them be." i smiled at him using my acting to the best of my abilities.

but damn, my heart hurt like a bitch right now.

"you don't have to put on your fake smile like that around me, namjoon. i know you're hurting right now, and you know i'm hurting just as much." he smiled too, and i knew it wasn't real.

last night after the two youngest left, we ended up drinking.

we vented out things we thought we'd never admit to one another.

it hurt.

we all went up to the roof and somehow decided to drunkenly yell out what's been caged in our hearts.

yoongi yelled about how he wanted to be a sweeter boyfriend to jimin, but didn't know how to be.

jimin yelled that he wanted to be more responsible as a boyfriend for yoongi.

hoseok yelled that he wanted to find someone who would let him love again.

jin and i were the most drunk— utterly wasted.

jin yelled that he wanted hoseok to love him as much as he did.

i yelled that i wanted taehyung to love me as much as i do him.

i can't remember what happened for the rest of the night, but i know that jin and i were heartbroken that morning. we both knew it just wasn't fate.

jin held out his hand toward me.

"let's heal together, okay?"

i watched how the sun highlighted his charcoal hair and bright pink lips that were curved into a grin.

i took his hand hesitantly, and we walked out of the forest together.

maybe i'll be okay. maybe i'll heal.

CHAPTER END

so now you know who J is :)) and now you know that jin's unrequited love wasn't taehyung, but hoseok *gasp*

was that reveal weak though? would you have preferred to find out in a more dramatic way?

i hope you're enjoying the book after coming this far !!

please don't forget to comment, vote, and leave a follow 💛

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