side story #2

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some days he thinks about what would've happened if he never confessed to being J.

other days he sees how happy they are together, and proceeds to mentally slap himself in the face for even thinking such a thing.

every day, his heart heals.

-=-=-=-

some days he thinks about what would've happened if he never confessed to hoseok on the roof that night.

other days he sees namjoon and forgets about hoseok altogether.

every day, his heart heals.

-=-=-=-

"come on, joonie you can't be like this forever and you know it. we've gotta move on!" jin said hoping to motivate his frozen friend.

the two stood in front of the church, in which their best friends' wedding would soon take place.

namjoon kept still and stared at the doors.

"i stopped loving him like that a long time ago. you know that, jin." namjoon said with a more steady voice. "but what if seeing him at the altar, looking like someone out of a fairy tale changes me? what if i fall in love all over again?"

jin reassuringly placed a hand on namjoon's shoulder.

"well... but what if the opposite happens?" jin hid his own heart ache with a beaming smile.

he learned it from hoseok.

"i can't tell you to just get over it because i personally know that's not very easy at all." jin paused. "but this is real life and all we can do is look ahead. yeah it might hurt, but it's all for the best right?"

namjoon took in jin's empathetic smile and nodded knowing he was going through the same thing. he took a deep breath and opened the door.

-=-=-=-

what surprised namjoon most was that the thing to hurt him that night had nothing to do with neither taehyung nor jungkook. it wasn't seeing them kiss at the altar, or cut the cake together, or have their first dance.

it was seeing jin dance with hoseok.

perhaps he'd gotten used to always having the caring elder by his side. perhaps he'd gotten used to the attention and missed it.

he searched for jin after the crowd separated them during the reception and happened to see them laughing about something hoseok said. watching them, he thought he would be in a good mood— happy for the one who'd helped him so much since he knew he could finally let go of the lingering feelings that bound him to taehyung.

'why can't i smile right now?' he asked himself.

he had no clue as to why he felt this way. he didn't know why his heart ached just as bad as when jungkook and taehyung started to get along.

"maybe i'm just stressed... or maybe in denial?" he mumbled to himself getting up to make his way outside, knowing neither of those things sounded correct at all. "maybe i'm just being attention hungry."

contrary to the loud reception hall, the outside garden was quiet and welcoming to his messy conscience.

ever since that night at the swings, he had always loved the night air, and the things it brought him.

he didn't realize it, but every time he had the air calm him, he also had jin beside him.

the shocking thing is that sitting out there alone didn't make him feel so much better.

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