Part 20~ Everything and Everything

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The rest of the drive is silent. 

As soon as we arrive back at the apartment, Tom storms into his bedroom and slams the door. The whole apartment rattles and I jump at the sound.

"Haz," I look towards him, "I stuffed up, didn't I?"

"No, Cori. You didn't," he reassures me, "their relationship was dead already."

I bite my lip and he puts his hands on my shoulders, "are you okay, though?"

I nod my head exasperatedly, sick of this goddamned question, and look towards the stairs. I escape from his grip and bolt up. I stand outside Tom's room, my hand hovering above his door handle. I contemplate whether to open it or not, but my decision is made for me. He opens the door.

We stare at eachother for a few seconds before I man up and break the silence, "can we talk?"
He sighs and moves out of the way so I can come in. He shuts the door behind us and he falls onto his bed. He doesn't look at me.

"I'm sorry," my voice comes out as a whisper.

"What are you apologizing for?" Tom's voice is harsh.

I shake my head, "I never should've gotten involved. It hurt the both of us."

"I broke up with Winnie," he says.

I nod, "I know."

He doesn't ask how I know. He simply pats the space next to him, suggesting I sit. I do and look straight ahead.

"What was Winnie talking about when—" Tom starts, but I cut him off.

"—I can tell you everything. From the beginning. If you want."

I face him and he faces me and smiles, "only if you want to. I'd never force you do do anything you don't want."

I bite the insides of my cheeks, then speak, "I have to tell somebody how I feel."

So I inhale and exhale deeply and look at the wall. I tell him everything. From Xavier, to Dean, to Lina. I tell him how I feel. How I hate myself for not knowing about Xavier and Dean and Xavier and Lina and how I broke up him and Winnie. The only thing I don't tell him is how I had auditioned for this movie. If he knew, he'd feel guilty and he's already going through a break-up. I vaguely mention how I was deterred from a movie, but I intentionally don't mention the name.

"Wow," Tom is speechless, "I'm so sorry. Winnie had no right and—

"—please, don't be sorry. The past is in the past."

"I should've stopped Winnie."

"She was right, you know?" I tell him, "it does seem like the world hates me sometimes."

"Hey," Tom places his fingers on my chin and turns me to face him, "you are not hated. Winnie was jealous of how love-able you are. She was intimidated by you and how cool you are."

I smile and lean my head on his shoulder. He strokes my hair. How can I know someone for such little time and still feel so happy around them?

"Do you want to look at photos of Winnie and make fun of her for an hour?" I ask and Tom chuckles 

So that's what we do.

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