Destiel One-shots

Strip

Dean Winchester was officially PISSED.

Pissed at Sam for getting him into this situation.

Pissed at himself for falling for the prank.

Pissed at everyone around him that would smile or give him flirty winks.

Even MORE pissed at Sam for taking Baby and leaving him stranded here until it stopped downpouring so he could walk the twenty miles back to the hotel. 

Perhaps I should explain.

The Winchester boys were in the middle of another prank war, and so far, Dean had been winning. But then Sam had gottenhim back. Gotten him good.

They were in Massachusetts, working a hunt, and Sam had convinced Dean to go to a strip club. Supposedly, one of Dean's old flames worked there, Sam told his brother. And, of course, Dean had fallen into the trap.

Before the hunter realized what was happening, Sam had taken off in the car, and it had started raining, leaving Dean stranded.

At a MALE strip club.

Alone.

There were only two other guys in the whole place besides the workers, and both of them kept sinking and sending flirty looks towards the Winchester.

"I'm not gay." He told them, but they just laughed and walked away. Dean got a beer and picked up his phone. He was going to need a good buzz to get through this until Sam came back and got him.

Sam, of course, didn't answer his phone, either. The voicemail beeped, and Dean practically growled into the phone.

"Alright, Sammy, you got me. Now get your ass back here and pick me up before I shoot you." He declared before hanging up. His phone rang a minute later.

"I'm just getting you to unleash your inner self," Sam insisted.

"I'm not gay, Sam, now get back here."

"....Nah. I'll let you have some fun first."

"Samuel. I swear."

"Just so you know," Sam starts to sing. "If you were gay, that'd be okay-"

"SAM I WILL SHAVE YOUR HEAD IN YOUR SLEEP."

"Do it and face Gabriel's wrath. Have fun Deanna!"

"SAM-" The moose hung up and Dean groaned. He'd have to find another way home, and only one option came to mind.

"Cas," Dean muttered, making sure he wasn't overheard. "I know you're busy, but Sam's being a bitch and I need a hand. Is your feathery ass available to help me out?"

"Hello Dean," Cas's voice called out a moment later. He looked around the club, very confused. "....Where are we?"

"It's Sam's idea of a practical joke." Dean offered. "Get me out of here."

"I thought you.... enjoyed these clubs," Cas insisted, his eyes settling on a near naked stripper.

"Not when they're guys." Dean explained. "I'm not gay."

"Then why do you make so many comments about my ass?" Dean froze, his face going red.

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Cas, get out of my ass," Cas started to quote. "Come on Cas, 'I Dream Of Jeanne' your ass down here, You can take your peace and shove it up your ass, Cas, we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle, dear Cas who art maybe running his ass from heaven- Literally JUST now when you told me to get my feathery ass down here- and my ass is NOT feathery, by the way-"

"Okay, OKAY," Dean proclaimed. "So I like your ass- it's not like you've never checked me out before either."

"I don't deny that...." Cas murmured, sitting down across from the hunter. Dean paused.

"Are we seriously going to have the whole 'we're both totally gay for each other' talk in the middle of a strip club?" He questioned.

"We could." Cas offered. "Or I could just do this." He leaned over and quickly pressed his lips to Dean's. The elder Winchester's eyes widened, and then he kissed Cas back, shutting his eyes.

They ended up kissing and talking and making out for the next four hours, and Dean loved every second of it.

And then, it seemed, some humor had to be thrown their way.

A woman stepped into the stage where the strippers usually performed, and called out to the crowd.

"Attention everyone," She began. "I'm afraid one of our dancers has called out sick, and everyone else needs a break, so, Are there any gentlemen in the crowd who would like to perform for us?" Hoots went out in the crowd.

"You could dance for them, Dean." Cas said.

"Hell NO. Sam would NEVER let me live that down."

"It could be fun."

"Sure Cas. Why don't you go up there and strip, and tell me how fun it is?"

"Okay." Dean froze.

"Wait what?" Cas removed his trench coat, left it on the chair, and approached the stage.

"What's your name, handsome?" The woman asked.

"Castiel." He offered, his voice deep.

"Well Castiel, let's see what you've got for us!"

Dean's eyes stayed glued to the angel as music started playing and Cas removed his suit jacket and his tie, flinging them in Dean's direction. The ladies in the crowd cheered and Cas started to dance to the music as he unbuttoned his shirt.

"Son of a bitch," Dean whispered, unable to take his eyes off the angel as pants were dropped and Cas realized he could use the poke in the center of the stage.

And Cas had been paying close attention to the dancers earlier.

The angel was down to his underwear when Sam entered the club, assuming he had tortured his brother enough.

Imagine the moose's surprise when he found a drooling Dean staring at the angel on stage.