Destiel One-shots

Friends

"Dean, I'm really really REALLY sorry!" Sam exclaimed as soon as his brother entered the bunker. The elder Winchester paused, wondering what apocalypse had been started this time.

"What did you do?" He asked, slightly bored.

"I broke your boyfriend." Sam admitted. 

"You WHAT?" Dean exploded. "How- wait... Where is Cas?"

"In your room. We won't come out."

"What did you do to him?"

"I uh..." The moose looked at him sheepishly and Dean started towards him, ready for a fight.

"Sam, WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOYFRIEND?"

"I introduced him to Friends."

"....And?"

"And, you remember what happened when he watched Sherlock, and Johnlock didn't happen?"

"Oh no."

"And when Drarry AND Dramione didn't work out in Harry Potter..."

"Sam."

"Yeah...."

"....I may have to kill you." Dean marched to his bedroom, and gently knocked on the door.

"GO AWAY!" Cas's distraught voice shouted from the other side. The Friends theme song was softly playing in the background and Dean fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Cas, it's me." He offered.

"I don't care, GO AWAY!" Dean sighed.

"Angel, at least tell me what happened." There was a pause, and then the door cracked open, revealing Cas's tear-stained face.

"Ross and Rachel broke up," He said miserably, sniffling. "They were so perfect together, and now, Ross screwed it ALL UP!!!!"He went to slam the door, but Dean slipped inside.

"Cas, it'll be okay."

"No it's NOT! IT'S NOT OKAY!" Cas objected, grabbing a tissue. Dean grimaced slightly. Things were bad if Cas started to quote Watson.

"What if I told you they get back together?" He said gently. Cas shook his head.

"It'll never last. Sherlock could've gotten back together with Watson, but then John had to go and mess everything up and get MARRIED. And this is no different!"  The upset angel curled into a ball on Dean's bed, his eyes glued to the paused theme song on the TV.

Dean laid down next to Cas and wrapped his arms around him.

"So they have some difficulties," Dean agreed. "But they work through them. I promise!"

"How do you know?"

"I watched all ten seasons."

"....Could you give me a happy spoiler?" Cas pleaded, his sad puppy look pulling at Dean's heart.

"Well....okay. Rachel and Ross have a baby together."

"They do?"

"Yep. Her name is Emma." Cas looked suddenly hopeful.

"Is she cute?" 

"She's adorable." Dean assured him. Cas smiled and played the episode, curling up closer to Dean.

"They're the best couple." Cas insisted.

"You should know, they don't get together right away." Dean added.

"That's fine."

"....What if I told you Ross marries someone else BEFORE Rachel?"

"He married Carol, remember? The lesbian?"

"Yeah, but he gets married a second time."

"Oh. Well, as long as he and Rachel are together in the end. That's what matters."

"...If you say so, Cas." They laid there, curled up together, and binged Friends for the rest of the day.

"Dean?" Cas asked, just as the hunter was about to fall asleep. 

"Yes Cas?"

"If we adopt a baby, can we name her after Rachel?"

"No."

"What about Monica?"

"How about we name her after Phoebe? Phoebe's nice...."

"Okay.... But what if we adopt a bo-"

"We're NOT naming our son Ross, Cas."

"....What about Marcel?"

"I will never have a child named after a fictional monkey, Castiel." 

"But he was a successful monkey! He was in movies!"

"NO."

"Okay fine..... What about Ben?"

"Ben works."

"Really?"

"Yeah, we can call him Benny, after our vampire friend from Purgatory."

"...Okay, so we're not calling him Ben."

"Goodnight Cas."

"Goodnight Dean."

......

"Dean?"

"Our child will not be named after anyone from Friends, and that's final."

"Okay, okay, I'll stop."

".....What about Bella?"

"Get out."