Broken Pieces {E.D.}

46

Song for chapter- All the Time, Cub Sport
Where you see the break ( the - ) switch songs to Losin Control, Russ

Dearest Autumn,
It's been about a month since we have talked. Since I've held you, had you in my arms. Yet not once have you left my mind, or my heart. For you are in my mind all the time. Your heart, which was in my hands, fragile and beautiful. Pure. You gave to me in a time you needed most. I dropped it, I broke it again after the pieces had come together in my hands. I am sorry. I am trult sorry for hurting you, for betraying the trust we had within one another because of my bad decisions I made in my past. It seems like a past life, for I am nothing like that Ethan anymore. I understand why you left. You're already broken, my brokeness broke you more. I don't blame you for this. For our break. But our break needs to come to an end. I can't keep just imagining your body next to me all the time, and not being able to have it happen in that moment, that night, or the next day. It's not only that, but it's you. Your messages, your smile, your laugh, and the beauty that you radiate is something I miss on a daily basis too. It's a craving I have. It's like an addicition, and you're my drug. My weakness. I sit and I write this letter to you in frustration of myself. Having a troubled past is something I knew would catch up to me. Never did I think it would come and take you from me. I cry. I'll admit it. For I am merely a man if I cannot tell you I cry whenever I think of you and I think of us. Think of what we had. From the little to the big things we did, we did them with love-Even if it was just running to the store to get a box of brownie mix, only for us to end up eating the batter. It's killing me. For when you look at the sky, do you picture another life?
Because as I write this letter to you, I do. I picture my life with you. A life where I didn't have a past that abused me mentally, causing me to become who I wasn't.
A life where you are mine and I never have to worry about losing you.
That's the life I see as I look up into the sky, whether bright blue or dull gray. Even a gray sky can be filled with such beauty if you are here with me.
But that is the only way.
-
I must apologize to you. For I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, yet I lost control. Taking in substances, saying what I said. Hearing the words around me in that video of using you for a bet. All it did was compare me to your past love. Your past love that was a disaster. Something built upon lies, and when you found out you fell hard. I caught you, within giving you your space away from me (which I deserved). Yet I loved you, I still do. Even when you were sad, worried to trust me knowing that I knew the truth behind your past relationship and stayed silent. I promise you my sweet, I didn't want to hurt you. I'm nothing like your past love, I didn't want you to think I was. I told you though because my love for you was overwhelming, and you were falling in love with me. I couldn't keep something so deep within me, from you. But this love, I've lost control.
And I can see you have too. I can see how hard it is for you to trust me when you do things. I see within your beautiful, broken eyes. I know it is hard. It's understandable why.
I ask of you now, come back to me. Fall back into love with me, I promise I'll catch you.
Only if you allow me the honor.
For my love for you has not decreased, only increased.
I need you more than I need anything else.
I love you my sweet Autumn.
With all of my love,
Ethan Dolan

My eyes pricked with tears. My heart throbbing after each word I read so beautifully printed across the paper.

I missed him.

"I wrote this before graduation." He whispered, instantly making me love and appreciate this letter even more than I already had. "The anticipation to give it to you has been driving me wild."

I smiled softly, my fingers tracing over the paper. "It's lovely." I whispered.

His words so beautifully pulling along my heart, pulling the strings of my heart back into the palms of his hands.

My heart glass, his hands the gentlest as they hold it.

It was a matter of if I was ready to put my heart back into the palms of his hands.

Give him my love, my trust, my baggage.

Give him all of me again. Only for him to give me all of himself.

Bringing our pieces together again, fitting together life a puzzle as we did before.

Ethans face searched mine, scanning every detail with his brown eyes as soft as velvet.

"Will you take me back?" His voice a whisper, gentle, full of yearning. A beautiful mix within his otherwise raspy voice.

My eyes fell upon his, and I saw the pieces of mine within the reflection. They came together so perfect.

My voice a hushed whisper full of love, I responded.

"Yes."

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This is the Last Chapter